My Life: A series of unfortunate events

Alucardo · November 2015

AhPook_Is_Here wrote: »

That's a pretty good story with a twist that wasn't too surprising. When I first started playing this game I joined a guild where everyone was named Indoril, The person who ran the guild had a female character. A female gamer was in the guild who also had the same last name. I guess they ended up cybering a bunch and at the end of the day she found out the person who ran the guild was a guy playing a female character. I guess she was gay and felt violated having just had straight sex with a female character or something equally confusing. I knew all this because she went around in a tirade assaulting everyone in the guild with a bunch of whispers explaining what had happened to her and how she hated us all for existing. Well, good times!

Holy crap! Thank god I didn't take it THAT far xD

Sevalaricgirl · November 2015

This is why you assume that all females are male even if it isn't true. You will never have these problems if you don't.

milkbox · November 2015

Was it a lie of omission, perpetuated by your own assumptions? I became close friends with a female character in another game- we spent a lot of platonic time together... it wasn't until many months later during a candid discussion about sex and relationships that she admitted that she was a man. (I think it finally made him uncomfortable to know he had fooled me.)

I was very surprised, but I didn't have much trouble accepting that he had been playing a female character- he'd never said "I'm a woman irl".

I realize it must be very different if you're involved in a romantic relationship- but once you've gone through it, you never make any assumptions again.

Alucardo · November 2015

Sevalaricgirl wrote: »

This is why you assume that all females are male even if it isn't true. You will never have these problems if you don't.

You're right man. I will from now on.

Alucardo · November 2015

r.leigh.harperb14_ESO wrote: »

Was it a lie of omission, perpetuated by your own assumptions? I became close friends with a female character in another game- we spent a lot of platonic time together... it wasn't until many months later during a candid discussion about sex and relationships that she admitted that she was a man. (I think it finally made him uncomfortable to know he had fooled me.)

I was very surprised, but I didn't have much trouble accepting that he had been playing a female character- he'd never said "I'm a woman irl".

I realize it must be very different if you're involved in a romantic relationship- but once you've gone through it, you never make any assumptions again.

Lies of omission are absolutely possible, but I think under the circumstances it was just flat out deceit. He took advantage of my trust (and gullibility) and let it play out until it got to that fork in the road. He knew if things were to become serious there'd be more interaction, and I'd of course expect a picture or two just to know who I'm talking to. So he came clean.

Maotti · November 2015

You could date my Daggerfall char!

But in all seriousness, it sucks that you experienced that.

Sheezabeast · November 2015

So, ah, did they get the gay vibe from you? Is that why they did that, or were they just cat fishing you?

BabeestorGor · November 2015

AhPook_Is_Here wrote: »

Alucardo wrote: »

Chapter 1: Don't trust anyone

I'll admit, I dated this girl I met on ESO. Well, I wouldn't say "dated". We were close, to be sure, but nothing ever officially announced. I knew this person for a long time, and they never asked anything of me, just my company. I thought that was sweet.
Now I'm not a RPer by any means, but to make her happy we'd go to various taverns, have a drink, sit by the fire and just enjoy each other to the fullest. It was nice, because it made me glad to be able to bring her happiness, even if it meant doing something I felt awkward taking part in. Though I neglected to mention to her it made me feel awkward!
We exchanged a lot of personal details, stories, life changing events. She knows more about me than any one on these forums would, and I've shared a fair bit as you know. Heh.
It came to a point where she wanted to go further than friendship and felt the need to lay some truths out on the table. I will list them in no particular order.

1. She had a small scar on her arm (Hey, no problem)
2. She was scared (It's ok. We all feel that way at some point. It's one of the things that makes us human)
3. She thought I was cute and showed my picture to most of her friends (Not worried too much. Flattered if anything!)
4. She was a man (Well sometimes we.. wait, what?)

And that's how I dated a man for 3 months.

That's a pretty good story with a twist that wasn't too surprising. When I first started playing this game I joined a guild where everyone was named Indoril, The person who ran the guild had a female character. A female gamer was in the guild who also had the same last name. I guess they ended up cybering a bunch and at the end of the day she found out the person who ran the guild was a guy playing a female character. I guess she was gay and felt violated having just had straight sex with a female character or something equally confusing. I knew all this because she went around in a tirade assaulting everyone in the guild with a bunch of whispers explaining what had happened to her and how she hated us all for existing. Well, good times!

OK, you lost me. Guess I need it kept simple.

MrDerrikk · November 2015

And this is why you should become a eunuch and live on the top of a mountain by yourself...with a good computer and internet connection.

BabeestorGor · November 2015

MrDerrikk wrote: »

And this is why you should become a eunuch and live on the top of a mountain by yourself...with a good computer and internet connection.

Miss out the eunuch bit and its not too different to my present lifestyle.

Moonshadow66 · November 2015

ladyonthemoon wrote: »

Moonshadow66 wrote: »

ladyonthemoon wrote: »

Alucardo wrote: »

BabeestorGor wrote: »

But did it really matter?
If its someone you're unlikely to ever meet in RL does what they are in RL matter?
Mind you I used to be a member of an internet group that met up in RL once in a blue moon and it could be a real shock when you really met someone for the first time.

Does having someone you trusted lie to you matter? To me, at least, it matters a great deal

What is lying, over the internet? Everybody lies on the internet; that's what it's mostly used for. Trusting someone over the internet is a risk nobody can afford, in my opinion.

Not everybody lies on the internet.

Everybody lies, to a point.

No.

MrDerrikk · November 2015

BabeestorGor wrote: »

MrDerrikk wrote: »

And this is why you should become a eunuch and live on the top of a mountain by yourself...with a good computer and internet connection.

Miss out the eunuch bit and its not too different to my present lifestyle.

I live at the bottom of a mountain with family, but still middle of nowhere...

Alucardo · November 2015

Sheezabeast wrote: »

So, ah, did they get the gay vibe from you? Is that why they did that, or were they just cat fishing you?

Wouldn't be the first time I've radiated gay vibes. Then again, last time it happened I was at the male strip show known as Manpower.

Yeah, long story.

Lava_Croft · November 2015

As long as you are having a good time!

Nifty2g · November 2015

You never talked to this person in Teamspeak? Thats normally how you find out before even getting to know them

Alucardo · November 2015

Nifty2g wrote: »

You never talked to this person in Teamspeak? Thats normally how you find out before even getting to know them

Nah, we probably would have Skyped or something should it have gone further though. Not sure what would have been the bigger surprise - Him telling me it was a guy, or me expecting a girl but seeing a bald, bearded dude on my screen.

Sevalaricgirl · November 2015

Alucardo wrote: »

Sevalaricgirl wrote: »

This is why you assume that all females are male even if it isn't true. You will never have these problems if you don't.

You're right man. I will from now on.

Um..I'm actually a real female...go figure that I'd be the insightful one...lol.

Alucardo · November 2015

Sevalaricgirl wrote: »

Um..I'm actually a real female...go figure that I'd be the insightful one...lol.

I thought you might be, but I was taking your advice and assuming you were male

Tryxus · November 2015

Sevalaricgirl wrote: »

Alucardo wrote: »

Sevalaricgirl wrote: »

This is why you assume that all females are male even if it isn't true. You will never have these problems if you don't.

You're right man. I will from now on.

Um..I'm actually a real female...go figure that I'd be the insightful one...lol.

pix and a Skype call first plz

MrPoolaty · November 2015

Tholian1 wrote: »

Congrats... You dated a Guy In Real Life.

Welcome to the "dating" world of MMOs.

I see what you did there

MrPoolaty · November 2015

Alucardo wrote: »

Chapter 1: Don't trust anyone

I'll admit, I dated this girl I met on ESO. Well, I wouldn't say "dated". We were close, to be sure, but nothing ever officially announced. I knew this person for a long time, and they never asked anything of me, just my company. I thought that was sweet.
Now I'm not a RPer by any means, but to make her happy we'd go to various taverns, have a drink, sit by the fire and just enjoy each other to the fullest. It was nice, because it made me glad to be able to bring her happiness, even if it meant doing something I felt awkward taking part in. Though I neglected to mention to her it made me feel awkward!
We exchanged a lot of personal details, stories, life changing events. She knows more about me than any one on these forums would, and I've shared a fair bit as you know. Heh.
It came to a point where she wanted to go further than friendship and felt the need to lay some truths out on the table. I will list them in no particular order.

1. She had a small scar on her arm (Hey, no problem)
2. She was scared (It's ok. We all feel that way at some point. It's one of the things that makes us human)
3. She thought I was cute and showed my picture to most of her friends (Not worried too much. Flattered if anything!)
4. She was a man (Well sometimes we.. wait, what?)

And that's how I dated a man for 3 months.

Did you meet her/him in real life?

Alucardo · November 2015

MrPoolaty wrote: »

Did you meet her/him in real life?

Nope, just through ESO

LadyNalcarya · November 2015

Nifty2g wrote: »

You never talked to this person in Teamspeak? Thats normally how you find out before even getting to know them

I was about to ask the same, lol.

Anyway... I'm a female player and all my chars are also females, but normally I assume that most of players are male. And it seems to be pretty common - randoms I meet in game usually call me "man" or "dude" if we're not on ts. XD

Gidorick · November 2015

aww... @Alucardo. Dude. I'm sorry to hear that man. That sucks. I feel for you, and him! Hard situation for you both.

As for those saying voice-chat would have prevented this: Not necessarily. I knew a guy a few years ago that could sound exactly like a girl. He could switch his voice mid sentence and go from a burly man to a sultry woman. It was kind of freaky.

AhPook_Is_Here · November 2015

KoshkaMurka wrote: »

Nifty2g wrote: »

You never talked to this person in Teamspeak? Thats normally how you find out before even getting to know them

I was about to ask the same, lol.

Anyway... I'm a female player and all my chars are also females, but normally I assume that most of players are male. And it seems to be pretty common - randoms I meet in game usually call me "man" or "dude" if we're not on ts. XD

Is it weird to call a girl dood? To me it is like the western version of "mate", a sort of sexually ambiguous pronoun conveying informal familiarity. I don't see it as a strange way for a man to address a woman myself, especially if ones relationship is casual and informal, like a guild buddy, or someone on your friends list.

Belidos · November 2015

Alucardo wrote: »

Chapter 1: Don't trust anyone

I'll admit, I dated this girl I met on ESO. Well, I wouldn't say "dated". We were close, to be sure, but nothing ever officially announced. I knew this person for a long time, and they never asked anything of me, just my company. I thought that was sweet.
Now I'm not a RPer by any means, but to make her happy we'd go to various taverns, have a drink, sit by the fire and just enjoy each other to the fullest. It was nice, because it made me glad to be able to bring her happiness, even if it meant doing something I felt awkward taking part in. Though I neglected to mention to her it made me feel awkward!
We exchanged a lot of personal details, stories, life changing events. She knows more about me than any one on these forums would, and I've shared a fair bit as you know. Heh.
It came to a point where she wanted to go further than friendship and felt the need to lay some truths out on the table. I will list them in no particular order.

1. She had a small scar on her arm (Hey, no problem)
2. She was scared (It's ok. We all feel that way at some point. It's one of the things that makes us human)
3. She thought I was cute and showed my picture to most of her friends (Not worried too much. Flattered if anything!)
4. She was a man (Well sometimes we.. wait, what?)

And that's how I dated a man for 3 months.

Man I feel for you there, I've had almost the exact same experience. Except that I found out when our guild had a RL meeting at a pub in London. I didn't know what to do so I just walked out and went home, never logged into the game again.

Don't get me wrong, it was nothing to do with the fact that he was a man who wanted a relationship with me, I have no problem with peoples sexual preference. What I did have a problem with and made me embarrassed enough not to play any more was the deceit and lies.

Alucardo · November 2015

Belidos wrote: »

Man I feel for you there, I've had almost the exact same experience. Except that I found out when our guild had a RL meeting at a pub in London. I didn't know what to do so I just walked out and went home, never logged into the game again.

That sucks bro. Sorry to hear about that.

Belidos · November 2015

Gidorick wrote: »

aww... @Alucardo. Dude. I'm sorry to hear that man. That sucks. I feel for you, and him! Hard situation for you both.

As for those saying voice-chat would have prevented this: Not necessarily. I knew a guy a few years ago that could sound exactly like a girl. He could switch his voice mid sentence and go from a burly man to a sultry woman. It was kind of freaky.

There's team speak apps that can distort your voice and make you sound male or female.

Reznique · November 2015

This is the best thing I've read on the forum in a very long time,

Thank you good sir!

Belidos · November 2015

AhPook_Is_Here wrote: »

KoshkaMurka wrote: »

Nifty2g wrote: »

You never talked to this person in Teamspeak? Thats normally how you find out before even getting to know them

I was about to ask the same, lol.

Anyway... I'm a female player and all my chars are also females, but normally I assume that most of players are male. And it seems to be pretty common - randoms I meet in game usually call me "man" or "dude" if we're not on ts. XD

Is it weird to call a girl dood? To me it is like the western version of "mate", a sort of sexually ambiguous pronoun conveying informal familiarity. I don't see it as a strange way for a man to address a woman myself, especially if ones relationship is casual and informal, like a guild buddy, or someone on your friends list.

Here's a little known fact about the word dude, it's actually a 19th century word that was used as a derogatory term to describe people that were over the top with regards to keeping up with the latest fashion. I have no idea how it became an alternative to mate in recent years.