The Gold Road Chapter – which includes the Scribing system – and Update 42 is now available to test on the PTS! You can read the latest patch notes here: https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/656454/
I fell in love with a bot.
Diaboli
✭✭✭
Not to long ago, I had stood waiting at the shrine of Mara for many long hours. My scales were dry, and the paint on my face had begun to crust up at the corners of my eyes and mouth. The sun fell past the tops of the buildings, the spreading shadows spelled out to me that the Dunmer woman I had been betrothed to was not coming.
She had taken my dowry and fled to Deshaan, for reasons I suppose were too unimportant to bother so much as sending a letter. I stood in the darkening streets in my ceremonial robes, horns braided with flowers, weeping hysterically while passersby tried not to make eye contact.
The guards pummeled me in the gutter and I was thrown out of Davon's watch, into a ditch. The mud on my scales rejuvenated me, and I decided to go adventuring, since I had nothing better to do.
The field not 50 feet away from the front gates of the fortress is haunted, in case you hadn't notice. That is when I saw them. Warriors of unmatched skill and precision, having mastered one attack so well that it was all they did. They wore only rags, but as a wave, they stood unopposed by the spectres of the night.
I joined in their silent crusade, dressing as they did, using only one of my techniques over and over. The power of our phalanx tore through these ghosts like a river through desert sand.
No matter how many we destroyed, there was always another to take their place. Every so often, we would rest by gathering ore, or jute, although for what purpose i could not ascertain.
I waited too long on one of our breaks, harvesting a few chunks of ore when the group left me behind. Out of thin air, one of the spectres appeared, blocking the path between the group and I. I turned to run, but two more rose to block my path.
I fought with all my might, but I knew that this could very well spell my doom. As I felt their ethereal blades pierce my chest, I was driven to the ground. I accepted my fate. I had fought bravely and it was time for my spirit to join the river that feeds the hist.
That was when I saw her. With a lance made of pure light, she pierced the phantasmal cuirasses of the three ghosts, an explosion of blue ectoplasm covering us both. My eyes met with hers and I knew I was in love again.
She was a Nord woman, powerful and light-colored. I could tell her name was "lhasfklljh", when I stared at her for long enough. I do not speak the nordic tongue, but I suspect in their language, it means "Battle-Maiden". She was perfectly silent, but I knew there was something special on her end too. I rose to my feet and we set off to catch up with the rest of the phalanx.
They were in the middle of a huge battle, and when my love and I arrived, we turned the tide against them. There was no time for revelry, as all the ghosts we had slain that night rose once more to nip at our heels. Our crusade goes on, and we, the relentless, rise to meet the endless battle.
"lhasfklljh" has never left my side since, and despite the fact she will not accept my ring of Mara, I know she loves me with all of her heart. We are now both married to this eternal struggle. We are the living wall that protects Davon's watch from an neverending torrent of the undead. We are the avengers of the Argonian slaves who died here. We are legion, and we are many.
And we are coming for your jute...
To honor her traditions, I will be changing my name to "ewqoruhyg", which I have speculated in Nord means, "Ghost-stomper". I am also honoring the traditional vow of silence, opting only to write letters. Compatriots of our cause send me mail constantly, making sure I have enough gold and crafting materials. I have never felt so important.
Still, something seems strange about all of this. Does our order have a name? Is there a leadership structure? I suppose the answers will come to me in time.
For now, I must rejoin the charge to keep Davon's watch safe. Now that you are aware of our crusade, I hope you will be more accepting in the future.
Edited by Diaboli on May 17, 2014 12:59AM She had taken my dowry and fled to Deshaan, for reasons I suppose were too unimportant to bother so much as sending a letter. I stood in the darkening streets in my ceremonial robes, horns braided with flowers, weeping hysterically while passersby tried not to make eye contact.
The guards pummeled me in the gutter and I was thrown out of Davon's watch, into a ditch. The mud on my scales rejuvenated me, and I decided to go adventuring, since I had nothing better to do.
The field not 50 feet away from the front gates of the fortress is haunted, in case you hadn't notice. That is when I saw them. Warriors of unmatched skill and precision, having mastered one attack so well that it was all they did. They wore only rags, but as a wave, they stood unopposed by the spectres of the night.
I joined in their silent crusade, dressing as they did, using only one of my techniques over and over. The power of our phalanx tore through these ghosts like a river through desert sand.
No matter how many we destroyed, there was always another to take their place. Every so often, we would rest by gathering ore, or jute, although for what purpose i could not ascertain.
I waited too long on one of our breaks, harvesting a few chunks of ore when the group left me behind. Out of thin air, one of the spectres appeared, blocking the path between the group and I. I turned to run, but two more rose to block my path.
I fought with all my might, but I knew that this could very well spell my doom. As I felt their ethereal blades pierce my chest, I was driven to the ground. I accepted my fate. I had fought bravely and it was time for my spirit to join the river that feeds the hist.
That was when I saw her. With a lance made of pure light, she pierced the phantasmal cuirasses of the three ghosts, an explosion of blue ectoplasm covering us both. My eyes met with hers and I knew I was in love again.
She was a Nord woman, powerful and light-colored. I could tell her name was "lhasfklljh", when I stared at her for long enough. I do not speak the nordic tongue, but I suspect in their language, it means "Battle-Maiden". She was perfectly silent, but I knew there was something special on her end too. I rose to my feet and we set off to catch up with the rest of the phalanx.
They were in the middle of a huge battle, and when my love and I arrived, we turned the tide against them. There was no time for revelry, as all the ghosts we had slain that night rose once more to nip at our heels. Our crusade goes on, and we, the relentless, rise to meet the endless battle.
"lhasfklljh" has never left my side since, and despite the fact she will not accept my ring of Mara, I know she loves me with all of her heart. We are now both married to this eternal struggle. We are the living wall that protects Davon's watch from an neverending torrent of the undead. We are the avengers of the Argonian slaves who died here. We are legion, and we are many.
And we are coming for your jute...
To honor her traditions, I will be changing my name to "ewqoruhyg", which I have speculated in Nord means, "Ghost-stomper". I am also honoring the traditional vow of silence, opting only to write letters. Compatriots of our cause send me mail constantly, making sure I have enough gold and crafting materials. I have never felt so important.
Still, something seems strange about all of this. Does our order have a name? Is there a leadership structure? I suppose the answers will come to me in time.
For now, I must rejoin the charge to keep Davon's watch safe. Now that you are aware of our crusade, I hope you will be more accepting in the future.
If I throw a dog a bone, I don't care to know how it tastes... - Brick Top
71
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jircris11✭✭✭✭✭
✭this is...epic, nice to see someone using these bots for a good laugh.IGN: Ki'rah
Khajiit/Vampire
DC/AD faction/NA server.
RPer3 -
Icy✭✭✭✭This is the best thing I have read EVA!!!!!_____________________________________________________________________________________________________Greetings, Outlanders from -Icy (@IcyIC)twitch.tv/IcyICyoutube.com/HulloItsIcy(not ZOS_Icy)_____________________________________________________________________________________________________2 -
gunsofdeschain✭✭✭clap
clap clap
clap clap clap
clapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclapclap
thunderous* CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP2 -
Diaboli✭✭✭I love you guys. When I conquer this stinking rock, I will spare you all, and an entourage of your companionsIf I throw a dog a bone, I don't care to know how it tastes... - Brick Top4
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Liquid_Time✭✭✭✭✭This.. was.. GREAT!¸.•¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` Liquid_Time'*-.¸.-•-.¸_¸.-•-.¸_¸.-•-.¸_¸.-•-.¸_¸.-•-.¸_¸.-••¤
╔═══════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
IGN: Liquid Past || Rank: V14 || Class: Nightblade || World Skill: Vampire
╚═══════════════════════════════════════════════════╝4 -
Thechemicals✭✭✭✭✭Had her already. Shes been around broVr14 Templar since release- dual resto
Vr14 Dk bow/2h
Brayan Blackthunder
Goddick
Daggerfall Covenant4 -
kewl✭✭✭✭✭
✭I kissed a bot, her lips were sweet
She was just like kissing me
I kissed a bot, won't change the world
But I'm so glad
I kissed a bot3 -
Gwarok✭✭✭@Diaboli
4 
InAllTheWrongPlaces 
AND YOU SCORED!!!
+1 on AWESOMENESS!!!
Question: Did [Skooma] have any part of your good luck encounter?Edited by Gwarok on June 4, 2014 11:18PM"Strive for balance of all things. When the scales tip to one side or the other, someone or somethings gets short-changed. When someone gets short-changed, unpredictability and strife unbalance the world around us...To achieve freedom from greed, from want, and from strife, all parties in any exchange MUST find balance." -House Hlaalu's Philosophy of Trade
"I am ALWAYS very busy, so I KNOW what's best. You need to stay away from the waterfall. TRUST ME, you're better off keeping busy than playing in the stream....Do you know how to swim, Little Scrib?"
"I am but a simple farmer". -Rags'nar LodesBroke
#SKOOMA!
(Juliet):
...it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man.
O, be some other name!
What's in a name?
That which we call a rose?
By any other name would smell as sweet.
Retain that dear perfection to which he owes...
(Act II, Scene II -William Shakespeare's: Romeo & Juliet -1595 A.D.)3 -
Azzouron✭✭May the divines bless you !
I do hope, seeing as it was a while you declared your love here, that she is still loyal and you remain together blissfully gathering the harvesting nodes of Nirn ^_^ !
I too felt the blissful pangs of Mara but alas Queen Ayrenn has more important things to attend to ...Edited by Azzouron on June 26, 2014 1:58PMAzourelle, a V2 Imperial Templar and loyal protector of Queen Ayrenn.
Hoarder of alchemy reagents, saviour of guar.3 -
Diaboli✭✭✭May the divines bless you !
I do hope, seeing as it was a while you declared your love here, that she is still loyal and you remind together blissfully gathering the harvesting nodes of Nirn ^_^ !
I too felt the blissful pangs of Mara but alas Queen Ayrenn has more important things to attend to ...
I hear she keeps Raz on a short leash... Or the other way around.If I throw a dog a bone, I don't care to know how it tastes... - Brick Top1 -
Diaboli✭✭✭I kind of want to do another one of these.
Any suggestions for content? I am a bit stifled, creatively.If I throw a dog a bone, I don't care to know how it tastes... - Brick Top1 -
reggielee✭✭✭✭best.
post.
ever.
Mama always said the fastest way to a man's heart is through his chest.3 -
Diaboli✭✭✭You could do something with the "MISSING" red boxes maybe?
NURRASANA! Genius! The mages guild and the mystery of the red boxes. A contamination that is gradually deteriorating reality, as well as the mind of the investigator!
I will begin work immediately. Thanks for the muse.If I throw a dog a bone, I don't care to know how it tastes... - Brick Top3 -
Diaboli✭✭✭Ack, posted it in Community Creations. Wish I could delete posts...If I throw a dog a bone, I don't care to know how it tastes... - Brick Top1
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Attorneyatlawl✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭Randomly saw this in one of my thread bookmarks when clearing the list out a bit... still just as awesome as when it was first posted
. You rock, @Diaboli. Edited by Attorneyatlawl on March 7, 2015 5:02PM-First-Wave Closed Beta Tester of the Psijic Order, aka the 0.016 percent.
Exploits suck. Don't blame just the game, blame the players abusing them!
-Playing since July 2013, back when we had a killspam channel in Cyrodiil and the lands of Tamriel were roamed by dinosaurs.
________________
-In-game mains abound with "Nerf" in their name. As I am asked occasionally, I do not play on anything but the PC NA Megaserver at this time.3 -
Vyle_Byte✭✭✭✭✭
✭LOL great bump @Attorneyatlawl I didn't get the privilege of seeing this thread before, this is fantastic!! Bravo OP, Bravo.Member of the Old GuardMother of the Byte FamilyVyle Byte||Ivana Byte||Vyible Byte||Hakate Vampler Former EMPRESS BWB||Haan Zolo {Retired} (He swung first)||Lunari ||Wardyn Chalyk Tahno||Dirti Dianah||Bonnie||
Viva la Byte2 -
Attorneyatlawl✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭Thanks
.... figured it was long enough now that most people playing today hadn't seen it 
, but it's worth seeing if you ask me . -First-Wave Closed Beta Tester of the Psijic Order, aka the 0.016 percent.
Exploits suck. Don't blame just the game, blame the players abusing them!
-Playing since July 2013, back when we had a killspam channel in Cyrodiil and the lands of Tamriel were roamed by dinosaurs.
________________
-In-game mains abound with "Nerf" in their name. As I am asked occasionally, I do not play on anything but the PC NA Megaserver at this time.1 -
Takhistis✭✭✭Wow amazing!NA-DC-NB VR1 Ilythrian
Proud member of Guild Medieval, More Than Fair, The Angry Unicorn Inn1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7EQaNlsEFs