[Humour] Argonian Paradise

DreamsUnderStars

((I couldn't post in community creations for some reason))

As I walk through the 'Fen where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she's very scaley
But that's just perfect for an Argonian like me
You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the mornin' I'm milkin' guar
Jezeek feeds the bantams and Jaaxik plows, fool
And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
Even Eezeeki thinks that my mind is gone
I'm a lizard of the land, I'm into discipline
Got a tome in my hand and a horns on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores, and you finish thine
Then tonight we're gonna party like it's the first era 169

[Chorus]
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Argonian paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Argonian paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Argonian paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Argonian paradise

[Verse 2]
A local Dunmer kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other fin
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning with Molag Bal
But I ain't never punched an adventurer even if he deserved it
An Argonian with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree, I really look good mixed colours, fool
If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the teleport bill in 300 years
But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired

[Pre-Chorus]
There's no clockwork, no lights, no magic stairs
Not a single luxury
Like mudcrabs
It's as primitive as can be

[Chorus]
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Argonian paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Argonian paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Argonian paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Argonian paradise

[Verse 3]
Hitchin' up the buggy, churning lots of butter
Raised a mudhouse on Morndae, soon I'll raise another
Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?
Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
I'm the pious guy the little Argonians wanna be like
On my knees day and night scoring points for the Hist Tree
So don't be vain and don't be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

[Chorus]
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Argonian paradise
I've churned butter once or twice
Living in an Argonian paradise
It's hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Argonian paradise
We sell quilts at discount price
Living in an Argonian paradise

Tazzy

Fantastic! It should be set to music, the chorus is ideal to sing in the shower.

MrGarlic

That's awesome. Great work. You are the real Gangsta. That's so Coolio. Not Weird, but full of Wonder. (Is that too cryptic?)

Necrotech_Master

when i read through that i actually could just hear weird al doing "amish paradise" in my head lol

Masteroshi430

Necrotech_Master wrote: »

when i read through that i actually could just hear weird al doing "amish paradise" in my head lol

Probably because this is based on Weird Al's lyrics, not on the ones from Gangsta's Paradise.

DreamsUnderStars

Yeah it's definitely Amish Paradise lol. It was stuck in my head last night.

Monte_Cristo

The famous Argonian bard, Moistio.

EvilGoatKing

Threw it in Suno for some instant gratification:
https://suno.com/song/2d6409a4-a4c6-429a-85fb-96e78d1bd42e

Tazzy

EvilGoatKing wrote: »

Threw it in Suno for some instant gratification:
https://suno.com/song/2d6409a4-a4c6-429a-85fb-96e78d1bd42e

Very very cool. For the rest of the day I have 'Living in an Argonian paradise' in my head.