ESO is fun, but your mental health is important too.

LadyLavina

I thought I would post this thread for anyone that happens to be in a similar situation as myself,

I found myself recently saying some things via whisper in a pvp setting and behaving in a way that was not becoming of an otherwise (i like to think) good person. I won't tag the people involved as that's not the point of this , but in a moment of frustration a few things got said by me that were absolutely reprehensible. What the other people did that led me to say that doesn't matter. It's a game, and the things they said/did were game related. I was wrong to behave that way , not just as a fan of the game, but as a person. My overall mental health has not been great lately, and I'm sorry for allowing it to manifest in lashing out against you.

We are all here because we love ESO and we love ZOS. @ZOS_MattFiror is an amazing producer, the lovely @ZOS_GinaBruno is an amazing and pleasant senior community manager, @ZOS_Icy keeps us (me especially lol) in line on the forums, and @ZOS_Kevin is a fantastic community team member and liaison between ZOS and the players, to say the least. Many people aren't linked here that play just as big of a role.

The reason this thread exists is because I encourage anyone and everyone who has ever found themselves lashing out at their fellow players to take a step back and think about the bigger picture. We're all human beings sitting behind computers playing something we love. Passions get high and competitiveness is through the roof, especially in PvP like I mentioned, but we need to be good to each other and not let the emotions of the moment steer us in a toxic and unacceptable direction. If the people I engaged with a couple of days ago happen to see this, I can't say enough how sorry I am. It was absolutely absurd behavior , and I intend to do what I informed you I would be doing when I apologized & remain on a break from the game until a time comes that I feel I can engage with it again in a healthy manner. I'll poke my head in the forums every now then, because I love you guys, and look forward to facing you again when life is okay again.

So if you, the person reading this, ever find yourself in a state of rage, sadness, or negativity in relation to something that has happened or is happening in ESO, please remember that it is a game at the end of the day. I'm sure the people at ZOS I've linked above would agree that if you need to take a break you absolutely should.

Life is too short to be angry with each other in the midst of a shared hobby. Please join me in my effort to try to be better not just to your fellow gaming fans, but to yourselves as well.

Warhawke_80

I'll this with a grain of salt...

This is why....

I'm unable to run in the game because it makes me sick to my stomach due to having PCS (oddly enough ESO is the only MMO that causes this) so I walk.

Oddly enough this enrages some people to the point of madness, they label it as "RP walking" I'm not grouped, I'm not bothering anyone, I'm just playing my game my way....

Some of the comments and threats are...well beyond the pale


This community absolutely loves being angry, they love harassing others, and they love making real-world threats.

This is why I spend much more time in FFXIV than here...that game doesn't make me sick and I don't have to worry about some mentally disturbed person making good on a threat.




I know I probably shouldn't have posted this...but the "Awesome community" has gotten on my last nerve today...

LadyLavina

Warhawke_80 wrote: »

I know I probably shouldn't have posted this...but the community has gotten on my last nerve today...

Friend, I think you're on the right track with your sentiments here. Take a break if you need to, whether it be to play another game or just enjoy life in a way of your choosing, we're people first and gamers second, despite what some seem to feel.

You don't have to explain yourself or justify yourself to anyone, your PCS is valid. The gripes or complaints of those who would take issue with it are not.

Grab a drink or a snack if you want, sit back, and enjoy ESO the way you'd like, or do something else , whatever suits your fancy

Malyore

LadyLavina wrote: »

Life is too short to be angry with each other in the midst of a shared hobby.

Well said.

furiouslog

Warhawke_80 wrote: »

I'll this with a grain of salt...

This is why....

I'm unable to run in the game because it makes me sick to my stomach due to having PCS (oddly enough ESO is the only MMO that causes this) so I walk.

How in the world does looking at a character walking in a game affect the symptoms of pelvic congestion syndrome? That's the oddest medical thing I've heard in years, and most of my in-laws are doctors who love to tell stories of medical mayhem.

Also people should leave you alone if you want to walk. I mean, I would not want to do a dungeon with you, that would be maddening, but you should be able to do whatever you like in the game without any harassment as long as people are not depending on you for some sort of contribution. I can't even imagine how the topic would come up.

spartaxoxo

@Warhawke_80

Have you tried both footstep settings?

Araneae6537

furiouslog wrote: »

Warhawke_80 wrote: »

I'll this with a grain of salt...

This is why....

I'm unable to run in the game because it makes me sick to my stomach due to having PCS (oddly enough ESO is the only MMO that causes this) so I walk.

How in the world does looking at a character walking in a game affect the symptoms of pelvic congestion syndrome? That's the oddest medical thing I've heard in years, and most of my in-laws are doctors who love to tell stories of medical mayhem.

Also people should leave you alone if you want to walk. I mean, I would not want to do a dungeon with you, that would be maddening, but you should be able to do whatever you like in the game without any harassment as long as people are not depending on you for some sort of contribution. I can't even imagine how the topic would come up.

PCS probably refers to another condition in this case, such as post concussive syndrome, perhaps, although I’m not familiar with the particulars of either.

Totally agreed with your second paragraph. Why anyone would care that another player chose to walk in overland, much less harass them, is quite beyond me. I hope they were blocked and reported!

furiouslog

Araneae6537 wrote: »

PCS probably refers to another condition in this case, such as post concussive syndrome, perhaps, although I’m not familiar with the particulars of either.

Well, based on the acronym sites I just checked, PCS could be one of 209 possible things. Some of them could nauseate a gamer viewing a running avatar, I suppose, and Post-Concussion Syndrome seems to be the best one for that, so I withdraw my earlier question.

amig186

Warhawke_80 wrote: »

Oddly enough this enrages some people to the point of madness, they label it as "RP walking" I'm not grouped, I'm not bothering anyone, I'm just playing my game my way....

Some of the comments and threats are...well beyond the pale

That is absolutely insane. I can't imagine what kind of a pathetic loser someone has to be to harrass a player who is just walking and minding his own business.

I don't know what it is, but there seems to be a large percentage of really short-tempered people in ESO who will get vocal whenever someone interferes even slightly in their "optimal" way of doing things. By contrast, I started playing Star Trek Online a few months ago and was surprised by just how chill everyone is there. As a beginner I had a bit of trouble pulling my weight in group content, but I never heard a bad word about it. In fact, any mention of "noobs" in zone or guild chats was met with disapproval by the majority. I'm not knocking the ESO crowd, I've met a lot of amazing people here, but I feel like the community as a whole has a bit of maturing to do.

Sakiri

Warhawke_80 wrote: »

I'll this with a grain of salt...

This is why....

I'm unable to run in the game because it makes me sick to my stomach due to having PCS (oddly enough ESO is the only MMO that causes this) so I walk.

Oddly enough this enrages some people to the point of madness, they label it as "RP walking" I'm not grouped, I'm not bothering anyone, I'm just playing my game my way....

Some of the comments and threats are...well beyond the pale


This community absolutely loves being angry, they love harassing others, and they love making real-world threats.

This is why I spend much more time in FFXIV than here...that game doesn't make me sick and I don't have to worry about some mentally disturbed person making good on a threat.




I know I probably shouldn't have posted this...but the "Awesome community" has gotten on my last nerve today...

People hate "rp walking" slowing dungeons and the like down in every game. And if you go to the FFXIV subreddits, the community is made fun of. It's not overly friendly, it's passive aggressive. You get reported for every little thing, so people don't talk much in groups outside "hi". If that.

It's called GCBTW for a reason.

BXR_Lonestar

Idk about you, but I quite enjoy getting hatemail and messages from other players. It lets me know I've gotten under their skin. And I'm usually too busy in battle or running to this objective or that objective to respond, but if I see an angry whisper from an opponent pop up or a message come over xbox, I just can't help but giggle to myself.

I never let myself get that frustrated personally. If PVP is going bad, I'll log out and go play Fable or Minecraft or something that isn't competitive.

LadyLavina

BXR_Lonestar wrote: »

Idk about you, but I quite enjoy getting hatemail and messages from other players. It lets me know I've gotten under their skin. And I'm usually too busy in battle or running to this objective or that objective to respond, but if I see an angry whisper from an opponent pop up or a message come over xbox, I just can't help but giggle to myself.

I never let myself get that frustrated personally. If PVP is going bad, I'll log out and go play Fable or Minecraft or something that isn't competitive.

I think we're coming at this from different source points, but we're meeting in the middle a little.

At least you're not actively contributing to it and sending the whispers yourself,

and I'm pleased to hear that if it ever becomes a problem for you that you'll step away.

As for enjoying reading them, I guess in some ways it's like a burning car on the side of the road or a slow motion train crash, you can't help but watch with fascination lol

ClowdyAllDay

there is def something wrong when a player base goes out of its way to harass people in game. i suspect demon possession on the part of the aggressors but that's just my 2 mites. In any case, pray for your enemies and those that despise and use you. Best thing for mental health is to pray for those who wrong you. Only way really to keep one's sanity.

Warhawke_80

Sakiri wrote: »

Warhawke_80 wrote: »

I'll this with a grain of salt...

This is why....

I'm unable to run in the game because it makes me sick to my stomach due to having PCS (oddly enough ESO is the only MMO that causes this) so I walk.

Oddly enough this enrages some people to the point of madness, they label it as "RP walking" I'm not grouped, I'm not bothering anyone, I'm just playing my game my way....

Some of the comments and threats are...well beyond the pale


This community absolutely loves being angry, they love harassing others, and they love making real-world threats.

This is why I spend much more time in FFXIV than here...that game doesn't make me sick and I don't have to worry about some mentally disturbed person making good on a threat.




I know I probably shouldn't have posted this...but the "Awesome community" has gotten on my last nerve today...

People hate "rp walking" slowing dungeons and the like down in every game. And if you go to the FFXIV subreddits, the community is made fun of. It's not overly friendly, it's passive aggressive. You get reported for every little thing, so people don't talk much in groups outside "hi". If that.

It's called GCBTW for a reason.

I honestly could care less what people hate

As I said I'm not grouped with anyone, not bothering anyone

spartaxoxo wrote: »

@Warhawke_80

Have you tried both footstep settings?

Yep...no dice...I have heard that quite a few people have the same issue in ESO...and it looks like the devs are doing things to try and help.

Sakiri

Warhawke_80 wrote: »

Sakiri wrote: »

Warhawke_80 wrote: »

I'll this with a grain of salt...

This is why....

I'm unable to run in the game because it makes me sick to my stomach due to having PCS (oddly enough ESO is the only MMO that causes this) so I walk.

Oddly enough this enrages some people to the point of madness, they label it as "RP walking" I'm not grouped, I'm not bothering anyone, I'm just playing my game my way....

Some of the comments and threats are...well beyond the pale


This community absolutely loves being angry, they love harassing others, and they love making real-world threats.

This is why I spend much more time in FFXIV than here...that game doesn't make me sick and I don't have to worry about some mentally disturbed person making good on a threat.




I know I probably shouldn't have posted this...but the "Awesome community" has gotten on my last nerve today...

People hate "rp walking" slowing dungeons and the like down in every game. And if you go to the FFXIV subreddits, the community is made fun of. It's not overly friendly, it's passive aggressive. You get reported for every little thing, so people don't talk much in groups outside "hi". If that.

It's called GCBTW for a reason.

I honestly could care less what people hate

As I said I'm not grouped with anyone, not bothering anyone

spartaxoxo wrote: »

@Warhawke_80

Have you tried both footstep settings?

Yep...no dice...I have heard that quite a few people have the same issue in ESO...and it looks like the devs are doing things to try and help.

If you're by yourself it shouldn't matter, but if you're in dungeons it *will* matter, was my point. If they're giving you a rough time in the overworld, just ignore them. Anyone with a problem like that just isn't worth anyone else's time.

jaekobcaed

I've played loads of MMOs over the years and ESO's community is one of the friendliest. Not sure where people are going to get such negative experiences.

That said, I agree entirely: sometimes, players should take a step back from even their favorite games and recognize that sometimes, you need a break. Whether that's because you lash out at others or because you're just not having as much fun, taking a break to enjoy other stuff once in a while is great because it can refresh your perspectives and, in the longing to play ESO while you're gone, coming back should make you feel that same sort of "warm and fuzzy" sensation you get returning home after a long vacation.

I took quite a break after Greymoor let me down so much, and now that I've been coming back in prep for Gold Road, I'm glad I took that break. Not only do I have loads of content to play now (since I missed three chapters and numerous story DLCs) but it also refreshed my view on the game. I always loved ESO but coming back really reminds me of why I loved this game so much throughout the years. It's truly a one-of-a-kind MMO and as a total TES nut, it feels good to return to the game and also get something new as we wait for TES 6.

Tallon_IV

Warhawke_80 wrote: »

Sakiri wrote: »

Warhawke_80 wrote: »

I'll this with a grain of salt...

This is why....

I'm unable to run in the game because it makes me sick to my stomach due to having PCS (oddly enough ESO is the only MMO that causes this) so I walk.

Oddly enough this enrages some people to the point of madness, they label it as "RP walking" I'm not grouped, I'm not bothering anyone, I'm just playing my game my way....

Some of the comments and threats are...well beyond the pale


This community absolutely loves being angry, they love harassing others, and they love making real-world threats.

This is why I spend much more time in FFXIV than here...that game doesn't make me sick and I don't have to worry about some mentally disturbed person making good on a threat.




I know I probably shouldn't have posted this...but the "Awesome community" has gotten on my last nerve today...

People hate "rp walking" slowing dungeons and the like down in every game. And if you go to the FFXIV subreddits, the community is made fun of. It's not overly friendly, it's passive aggressive. You get reported for every little thing, so people don't talk much in groups outside "hi". If that.

It's called GCBTW for a reason.

I honestly could care less what people hate

As I said I'm not grouped with anyone, not bothering anyone

spartaxoxo wrote: »

@Warhawke_80

Have you tried both footstep settings?

Yep...no dice...I have heard that quite a few people have the same issue in ESO...and it looks like the devs are doing things to try and help.

Have you tried any of the camera settings? There's some stuff in there for screen shake and head bobbing.

merevie

One of the reasons why I enjoy pvp is that one can just shoot someone if they send you random nasty things. And if one cannot shoot them alone, then one brings one's friends.

Long pony rides give people time to reconsider their social behaviour.

And blocking is a thing.

As is a guild 'salt' channel... which at a certain point, is rather damning evidence of continual harassment, should it be needed.

MJallday

Allow me to post this alternative view

I think we can and should all respect peoples right to play the way they want. That’s common sense and decency. I’m perfectly fine with this

So in the OPs case we should all respect the fact that he (assuming it’s a he) wants to walk everywhere.

I indeed do respect that. If he wants to spend his life doing that, I don’t care and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

However, this almost means the same respect has To be afforded to me when I want to blast through fungal grotto (or similar) at 4000mph - or nuke a world boss in 8 seconds whilst you’re still ambling your way through the countryside like Maria von trapp on her holidays.

I won’t personally give anyone any abuse for doing what they want to do. I’ll simply ignore you, kick you if you happen to be in the same group , or carry on without you. If you ask nicely , I might consider any request (eg to slow down or to wait for quest etc) but that doesn’t mean I’ll grant it.

What I won’t get, is abusive.

With all due respect , I’ll play the way I want to play and I’m not going to change my play style for someone else. You play the way you want to - so shall I - and if you Don’t like it then Don’t play with me. This is an MMO - and perhaps go find other similar minded players. Respect works both ways.


What I would say is that the game provides many options for ensuring our paths never cross. EG
Grouping , muting , blocking, text muting , Guilds , multiple servers . Those should be utilised


on the mental health front, I’d never besmirch anyone with MH or psychological issues - but you do have to question if this is the right game for you if that’s what your trigger is. Only you can decide that. FWIW I think you’re doing the right thing by putting it down if it triggers you . And I will (and actually have this week in my own guild) defended peoples MH.


Finally. Tamriel is for everyone , there is room for everyone. We don’t have to like eachother, we just have to respect eachother .

Shara_Wynn

Well said OP but we are still only humans at the end of the day. Emotional. Flawed.

Also this is why I don't do PVP

It is summer time (I make an assumption here), a good time to take a break and enjoy the sun on your face. I hope you aren't being too hard on yourself. All of us are imperfect beings living in an imperfect world. You have to be kind to yourself before you can be kind to others.

Reginald_leBlem

I just play in offline mode. If anyone has a problem.with how I play, I'll never know about it.

TaSheen

MJallday wrote: »

Allow me to post this alternative view

So in the OPs case we should all respect the fact that he (assuming it’s a he) wants to walk everywhere.

Minor quibble - the OP isn't the one who wants to walk everywhere: that's @Warhawke_80....

SilverBride

Someone slow walking when we are together would be an issue for me.

I have a friend that likes me to take him on tours of my many houses. The problem is he slow walks "so he can see everything" even in the large estates. I don't have the patience for that so now I just link him the house and let him tour it on his own.

MJallday

TaSheen wrote: »

MJallday wrote: »

Allow me to post this alternative view

So in the OPs case we should all respect the fact that he (assuming it’s a he) wants to walk everywhere.

Minor quibble - the OP isn't the one who wants to walk everywhere: that's @Warhawke_80....

Quite correct my apologies

ArchMikem

Reminds me of a time In a PuG for Moonhunter Keep. Guy was bashing hard on ZOS for something. I tried defending them and he just lashed out at me for it. Even kept going in whispers after I left group.

People just like to hate and bully. It's all they know and they're unapologetic for it. Some are even proud to be that way.

LadyLavina

ArchMikem wrote: »

Reminds me of a time In a PuG for Moonhunter Keep. Guy was bashing hard on ZOS for something. I tried defending them and he just lashed out at me for it. Even kept going in whispers after I left group.

People just like to hate and bully. It's all they know and they're unapologetic for it. Some are even proud to be that way.

That's mind blowing to me. People who get that angry have clearly lost perspective on what actually matters in life.

Dovahkiin02191973

Being a survivor of 2 devastating personality destroying mental illnesses for over 30 years I can attest to the toxicity of the game and these forums. With millions of players all over the world in a game like this you are going to have conflict. What you do about it as an individual player makes the difference. For me I just butt out. In game I can either logout or I can wayshrine to another location and come back to what I was doing later. If I can't deal with a topic forum appropriately I don't say anything and move on. If I have learned anything from my life experience is that anger and hate only hurt me. Of course I may not like something but to fume about it hours on end only hurts me. Have I been toxic in the forums? You bet and it only got me in trouble so I made a decision that day not to act like a 2 year old as ZOS gave me another chance.

Pelanora

The toons look so stupid running, and the horses trot pretty fast. My clothes don't even move properly when I run. Running isn't so great.

Zodiarkslayer

amig186 wrote: »

That is absolutely insane. I can't imagine what kind of a pathetic loser someone has to be to harrass a player who is just walking and minding his own business.
...

Agreed. It is a complex problem, like anything to do with the mind and soul.

But, I guess one can bottom line it to how kids are brought up in western societies. Almost all of them are competitive and coercive, rather than cooperative and communal.
If you have to live through that as a kid, it leaves a mark of the permanent kind.

A friend of mine has a harvard degree and worked for one of those ivy league lawyer firms. Until he broke down.
Now he lives in rural Idaho, goes to church every sunday, hunting when it is full moon, has a tenth of his former salary, but is ten times happier. <his words not mine>

Mental Health...

MJallday

if you think ESO is toxic in game, you’ve clearly never played GTA V online

Dovahkiin02191973

GTA V is about criminal activity and trying to avoid the law. So I can imagine a lot of serious toxicity going on in that kind of game. It is a game for adults who think that kind of stuff is fun and maybe it is to some. Not my kind of game and surely not for minors. We all know that kids get hooked on those games and then act out in real life due to psychological issues. Highly ingrained psychological disturbances in kids requires intervention before bad things happen. With me I got to the right doctors my senior year of high school and began my medical treatment before it got out of control and here I am over 30 years later still alive with my issues in remission and no one got hurt.