What's your favorite risque thing in ESO?

DewiMorgan

While everyone has different levels that they find acceptable, it feels to me that Zenimax is pretty good at at getting the tone of their innuendo and risque elements exactly right; sometimes flirty or smirking innuendo, even rising to an occasional raunchy line, but forever falling (frustratingly!) short of outright lewdness.

There are all the emotes, like "kiss this", "flip the bird" (a literal bird!). There's one (or it might be a memento? I forget) where you offer to sell a potion to enlarge someone's rooster: some lovely innuendo right there!

There are all the Treasures (so many of these books, I'm sure we'd all love to have be readable items, instead of descriptions!). Here's just a sample:

Art Book, "Allure of the Sweetroll": Rare art book, 'Ong's Passion: Allure of the Sweetroll,' depicting healthy unclad Imperials holding artfully placed sweetrolls.
Cyrodilic Boudoir Etching: A partially torn but otherwise well-preserved etching of a bawdy scene, most likely brought to Murkmire by a lonely Legionnaire.
Dibella Napkin Holders: Each of these fashionable napkin holders was molded into a voluptuous depiction of the goddess of beauty.
Dibella's Bosom Night Favor: A bust of the god of beauty and erotic instruction, kept in Nord bedchambers to make nightly activities more … invigorating.
Ebony Mermaid Figurine: This tiny stone mermaid curls her tail seductively. A common fertility idol for High Isle commoners.
Edifying Illusio-Scope: Bulging device with inward-facing goggles and a crank that, when turned, shows the viewer moving images of Bosmer procreation.
Embossed Leather Picturebook: The Conquests of Vivec' depicted on supple leather pages inviting to the touch, the proportions appear highly exaggerated.
Erotic Argonian Etchings: A set of limited-edition etchings of Argonian erotica. It is impossible to discern the gender of the participants.
Erotic Found Object Mosaic: Assorted junk and scrap arranged to resemble provocative figures in repose, strategically oiled to give a glistening sheen.
Erotic Green Pact Drawings: A collection of plant life drawings that are strangely suggestive.
Feast of Souls Miniature Painting: Vampires of all races encircle a group of willing blood-friends, some already offering necks or naked limbs.
Glenmoril Wyrd Leg Cologne: The sisters of the Glenmoril Wyrd mix a pungent concoction of herbs and apply it to their legs for the pleasure of their wolves.
Guide to Approved Methods of Procreation: Illustrated folio from the Thalmor depicting methods of coition "that properly reflect our Altmeri heritage."
"Lusty Argonian Maid" Art Folio: A well-worn book of stimulating images illustrating the popular tale of "The Lusty Argonian Maid."
Mother Morrowind Fertility Fetish: Iridescent green-gold glassite statuette of a beatific Almalexia, arms crossed over her pregnant belly.
Pamphlet of Erotic Engravings: Khajiiti pamphlet showing various forms of erotic dalliance, illustrated by stylized drawings of astoundingly lithe cat-people.
Risque Boudoir Portrait: A portrait of a buxom young Nord wearing nothing but a horned helmet and a provocative smile.
Risque Etching: This revealing etching of a masked courtesan was deemed too provocative to display in mixed company.
Tickle Tail Toy: When looped around the tail, this band of downy feathers becomes a fearsome tormentor. Popular among bullies and courting pairs.
Yorran's Yarns of Cyrodiil, Illustrated Edition: Amusing and often bawdy anecdotes detailing a Nord's adventures in the Imperial City, complete with explicit illustrations.

And then there're all the flirty characters and lines of dialog filled with innuendo!

What's your favorite bit of lighthearted naughtiness from ESO?

I think mine's the "Mistletoe Posterior" emote

Hapexamendios

Lizard maid

Malyore

DewiMorgan wrote: »

I think mine's the "Mistletoe Posterior" emote

That one is pretty good, I also am a fan of "dance redguard (male)" emote. That has a silly little move at the end that I think is supposed to fit the category.

Does St.Olms stomping on me count? If not then
Tbh my favorite thing is just that the male armor also shows just about as much skin as female armor. I always use it to show off my argonians scales. Makes him glisten when he does situps.
I don't know in that scenario if their intent was supposed to be "risque" armor...my argos definitely wouldn't be the same without it. And like I said I'm especially glad they kept it fair in that it's not just limited to female armor sets like most games (looking at you Capcom).

vsrs_au

Don't forget the brothel in Ebonheart.

Malyore

vsrs_au wrote: »

Don't forget the brothel in Ebonheart.

I had to look around town to see what you were referring to. Turns out the guy was just pretending to be having fun. When I killed the lady in front of him he managed to just up and run away, despite appearing to be tied up.

Urvoth

Tbagging in PvP

ArchMikem

I dunno. I know the game itself has innuendo and sexual themes out the wazoo, but the last time I tried referencing an actual innocent scene I came across In game that I kinda sorta injected some of my own innuendo into, the thread got deleted and I got an Account Warning, possibly a 3 day Ban, I can't remember.

But it was literally just a group of Anequinan soldiers standing at a Dragon feeding ground. The Officer was Male, and every one of the subordinate Soldiers spawned Female. I made a light hearted joke about how they all must have fun ganging up on their Commander to tease him.

I learned my lesson to not bring that kind of talk into the Forums again, and it really irks me when others choose to do so, and the Mods do nothing.

Malyore

ArchMikem wrote: »

I dunno. I know the game itself has innuendo and sexual themes out the wazoo, but the last time I tried referencing an actual innocent scene I came across In game that I kinda sorta injected some of my own innuendo into, the thread got deleted and I got an Account Warning, possibly a 3 day Ban, I can't remember.

But it was literally just a group of Anequinan soldiers standing at a Dragon feeding ground. The Officer was Male, and every one of the subordinate Soldiers spawned Female. I made a light hearted joke about how they all must have fun ganging up on their Commander to tease him.

I learned my lesson to not bring that kind of talk into the Forums again, and it really irks me when others choose to do so, and the Mods do nothing.

I'm hoping that so long as people are careful, nothing will happen. It'd be a little ridiculous that the official forums for a game cannot talk about the content in a game. I don't think listing all the items that reference innuendos, or talking about emotes that were made to mean "kiss my rear", all directly from ESO, would be enough to have a post taken down. Unless someone starts to take things too far.

Also on the Forums website, it very clearly has the ESBN rated M+ due to sexual themes. You can just scroll down from here and see it yourself. Even looking at the TOS, it refers that "sexually explicit content is not permitted. Not "sexual", but "sexually explicit". Explicit's definition, when searched in the Oxford English Dictionary, is defined in this context as "describing or representing sexual activity in graphic fashion".



Again, talking about game items, emotes, or dialogue that was all hand-crafted by the developers for this forum's product should not be anything to get taken down. Just keep things lighthearted and in line with the philosophy of the ZOS team.

spartaxoxo

The forums have a different age rating to the game, fyi.


Anyway, I think the Lusty Argonian Maid is pretty funny.

LunaFlora

i would love to see some of those treasures become furnishings like the Dibella treasures.

M1SHAAN

My overzealous AD PVP character keeps a copy of the "Book of Erotic Stories" treasure in her inventory because I think it's funny.

"Book of Erotic Stories": A collection of erotic fiction, featuring pairings of prominent Aldmeri Dominion figures, including Queen Ayrenn and Urcelmo.

Jaraal

When you become one of the Undaunted in Davon's Watch, and you ask the group what you should do next:

Felvyn the Swordarm: "I think the new blood could help me in the privy. I'm not supposed to lift anything heavy."

Seeks-Her-Glory: "You're looking pretty light from here, Felvyn."

Malyore

LunaFlora wrote: »

i would love to see some of those treasures become furnishings like the Dibella treasures.

It's funny, when I was pickpocketing I actually got the statue of a pregnant Almalexia that OP listed, but the icon to it is some warrior in a cape aiming to attack with a sword. Seeing the description vs the icon made me laugh. Hopefully if they were to make more treasures into furnishings, they'd make them match the descriptions.

LunaFlora

Malyore wrote: »

LunaFlora wrote: »

i would love to see some of those treasures become furnishings like the Dibella treasures.

It's funny, when I was pickpocketing I actually got the statue of a pregnant Almalexia that OP listed, but the icon to it is some warrior in a cape aiming to attack with a sword. Seeing the description vs the icon made me laugh. Hopefully if they were to make more treasures into furnishings, they'd make them match the descriptions.

yea i hope that too, some treasures have inaccurate icons sadly

freespirit

I've never really found anything in game that has made me look twice or prick up my ears, maybe the odd Inn room here and there has made me look twice!

However I am currently doing a build for a friend, that he specifically asked for....... risque has literally flown out the window and downright "smutty" has emerged!!

Omg I'm having sooo much fun!!

Jaraal

LunaFlora wrote: »

Malyore wrote: »

LunaFlora wrote: »

i would love to see some of those treasures become furnishings like the Dibella treasures.

It's funny, when I was pickpocketing I actually got the statue of a pregnant Almalexia that OP listed, but the icon to it is some warrior in a cape aiming to attack with a sword. Seeing the description vs the icon made me laugh. Hopefully if they were to make more treasures into furnishings, they'd make them match the descriptions.

yea i hope that too, some treasures have inaccurate icons sadly

Inaccurate names, as well. I always SMH when I loot the "Never Freezing Snowball."

Syldras

DewiMorgan wrote: »

Mother Morrowind Fertility Fetish: Iridescent green-gold glassite statuette of a beatific Almalexia, arms crossed over her pregnant belly.

What's naughty about that? It's a depiction of a pregnant Goddess, like it's common in many (also real-world) cultures.

Desiato

I'm surprised no one has mentioned riften....

LadyLethalla

I'm quite a fan of the male /danceRedguard emote...

JARTHEGREY

I enjoyed being invited to the 'Five Finger dance' - not sure what the quest was called though.

FeedbackOnly

Flip the bird for when I am annoyed someone disconnected

cyclonus11

pklemming

I like to spend two hours in Sanity's Edge and not do a reloadUI. #livingontheedge

FeedbackOnly

Desiato wrote: »

I'm surprised no one has mentioned riften....

What happens in riften stays in riften

Kallykat

The first thing that comes to my mind is the quest "The Sea Runs Restless" in Llanshara on Galen. If you haven't completed this side quest yet, you should! Talking to all the NPCs during the quest cracked me up.

Nharimlur_Finor

I modified the 'Orc's Finger' poem.

I_killed_Vivec

Bubble bath!

ArchMikem wrote: »

I got an Account Warning, possibly a 3 day Ban, I can't remember.

First Rule of Ban Club... you're not allowed to talk about being a member of Ban Club!

Second Rule of Ban Club... you're not even allowed to talk about the First Rule!

And now look what you've made me do!