Maintenance for the week of December 23:
· [COMPLETE] NA megaservers for maintenance – December 23, 4:00AM EST (9:00 UTC) - 9:00AM EST (14:00 UTC)
· [COMPLETE] EU megaservers for maintenance – December 23, 9:00 UTC (4:00AM EST) - 14:00 UTC (9:00AM EST)
· [COMPLETE] NA megaservers for maintenance – December 23, 4:00AM EST (9:00 UTC) - 9:00AM EST (14:00 UTC)
· [COMPLETE] EU megaservers for maintenance – December 23, 9:00 UTC (4:00AM EST) - 14:00 UTC (9:00AM EST)
"When Will the Server Be Up?" - a LOL-Summary
If you're going to ask when the server is coming back up, just choose one of these responses and consider your question answered. Have a wonderful morning!
Legal Adult Response:
You're a spoiled child who needs to learn some patience. No one owes you anything, nor are you entitled to play right now. When I was a kid, we spent 16 hours installing a game on an 8-bit system.
Hypocritical Response:
Get a life and go outside, you fat, lazy nerd.
Zenimax Cultist Response:
If the devs told us they had to fling poo at us in order to bring the servers back up, then we should all get in line with a pair of goggles and a smile. How dare you question the Elder Scrolls Gods?
Breath-Holding Response:
If they don't update the sticky thread at least once every 5 minutes, I'm going to request a refund.
World-First Response:
I was just about to ding 50 on my 4th character and now some guy in Korea is gonna beat me. This day sucks.
Hobbyist Response:
There are many other things you could be doing instead of refreshing the forums. You could read a book, toss a football, watch TV, take a nap, play with your kids, do some laundry, or call a friend.
Over-Caffeinated Response:
OMG, I need to play more. Must keep refreshing! Going through withdrawal LOL!!!!111one!
Simplistic Response:
It'll be up when it's up.
Lazy Response:
^This.
Smug Response:
(Random unrelated quote by Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, or some other literary figure.)
Founding Father Response:
I played Arena when you were still a twinkle in your momma's eye. You must be a Morrowind/Oblivion/Skyrim baby.
Tired Response:
TL; DR.
Peacekeeper Response:
Come on now, people. The OP asked a legitimate question. There's no need to be rude and insensitive. We're all in this together!
Told-You-So Response:
You actually thought you'd be able to play in early access? I'm not even trying to log in until at least April 7th.
English Professor Response:
You cannot play until you can learn the difference between 'your' and 'you're'.
Optimistic Response:
They told us it was just a quick fix, so it'll probably be up in an hour.
Pessimistic Response:
They told us it was just a quick fix, so it'll probably be up sometime Saturday.
Traitorous Response:
Diablo expansion, woot!
Attention-Deficit Response:
Anyone know if the servers are down? I can't seem to log in.
Suck-Up Response:
Mods/Devs, THANK YOU for the updates! We love you and we know you're trying your best! KUDOS to the team!!!
IT Professional Response:
Do you have any idea what it takes to create and maintain a game? The work it requires, the time spent fixing bugs in millions of lines of code, not to mention the QA process before the newest patch can be released to the customer? If you think you can do better, then by all means, please give it a shot.
RTFM Response:
For f's sake, read the sticky at the top and stop posting these same threads just because you're illiterate!
Xenophobic Response:
You must be an American/Australian/European/Asian/Antarctican because you think you're entitled to everything NOW NOW NOW.
Sarcastic Response:
Bro, the servers have been back up for like 15 minutes and we're all playing.
Business Person Response:
I took vacation time this week and rescheduled a meeting with my company's CEO so I could be home playing promptly at 6am. Zenimax needs to re-evaluate its work ethic and responsibility to the customer.
Jokester Response:
Here's an updated link to the server status sticky.
Conspiracy Theorist Response:
This is obviously a plot to stress test the capability of the forum software. They are tracking our IP addresses and the number of times we refresh the page in order to sync the server to handle the proper amount of traffic.
Trolling Response:
U mad brah?
In-Denial Response:
I keep trying to log in, and I know they told us they'd let us know when the servers are back up, but I'm sure it's only because they don't want everyone rushing back in at the same time.
Something for Nothing Response:
A price of $59.99 means we're paying roughly $0.08 per hour to play during the first month. Will we be compensated $0.40 plus applicable taxes for the downtime?
The Horse Isn't Dead Yet Response:
Why does there have to be weekly maintenance?
Legal Aide Response:
If you would like to participate in a class-action lawsuit against Zenimax for breach of contract, in accordance with section 13, paragraph 9, and as cited in the McGraw v. Smith case, please send me a PM.
LOLcats Response:
I can haz playtime now?
Friends In High Places Response:
My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who works at Zenimax, and she said it would be up in the next hour.
Legal Adult Response:
You're a spoiled child who needs to learn some patience. No one owes you anything, nor are you entitled to play right now. When I was a kid, we spent 16 hours installing a game on an 8-bit system.
Hypocritical Response:
Get a life and go outside, you fat, lazy nerd.
Zenimax Cultist Response:
If the devs told us they had to fling poo at us in order to bring the servers back up, then we should all get in line with a pair of goggles and a smile. How dare you question the Elder Scrolls Gods?
Breath-Holding Response:
If they don't update the sticky thread at least once every 5 minutes, I'm going to request a refund.
World-First Response:
I was just about to ding 50 on my 4th character and now some guy in Korea is gonna beat me. This day sucks.
Hobbyist Response:
There are many other things you could be doing instead of refreshing the forums. You could read a book, toss a football, watch TV, take a nap, play with your kids, do some laundry, or call a friend.
Over-Caffeinated Response:
OMG, I need to play more. Must keep refreshing! Going through withdrawal LOL!!!!111one!
Simplistic Response:
It'll be up when it's up.
Lazy Response:
^This.
Smug Response:
(Random unrelated quote by Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, or some other literary figure.)
Founding Father Response:
I played Arena when you were still a twinkle in your momma's eye. You must be a Morrowind/Oblivion/Skyrim baby.
Tired Response:
TL; DR.
Peacekeeper Response:
Come on now, people. The OP asked a legitimate question. There's no need to be rude and insensitive. We're all in this together!
Told-You-So Response:
You actually thought you'd be able to play in early access? I'm not even trying to log in until at least April 7th.
English Professor Response:
You cannot play until you can learn the difference between 'your' and 'you're'.
Optimistic Response:
They told us it was just a quick fix, so it'll probably be up in an hour.
Pessimistic Response:
They told us it was just a quick fix, so it'll probably be up sometime Saturday.
Traitorous Response:
Diablo expansion, woot!
Attention-Deficit Response:
Anyone know if the servers are down? I can't seem to log in.
Suck-Up Response:
Mods/Devs, THANK YOU for the updates! We love you and we know you're trying your best! KUDOS to the team!!!
IT Professional Response:
Do you have any idea what it takes to create and maintain a game? The work it requires, the time spent fixing bugs in millions of lines of code, not to mention the QA process before the newest patch can be released to the customer? If you think you can do better, then by all means, please give it a shot.
RTFM Response:
For f's sake, read the sticky at the top and stop posting these same threads just because you're illiterate!
Xenophobic Response:
You must be an American/Australian/European/Asian/Antarctican because you think you're entitled to everything NOW NOW NOW.
Sarcastic Response:
Bro, the servers have been back up for like 15 minutes and we're all playing.
Business Person Response:
I took vacation time this week and rescheduled a meeting with my company's CEO so I could be home playing promptly at 6am. Zenimax needs to re-evaluate its work ethic and responsibility to the customer.
Jokester Response:
Here's an updated link to the server status sticky.
Conspiracy Theorist Response:
This is obviously a plot to stress test the capability of the forum software. They are tracking our IP addresses and the number of times we refresh the page in order to sync the server to handle the proper amount of traffic.
Trolling Response:
U mad brah?
In-Denial Response:
I keep trying to log in, and I know they told us they'd let us know when the servers are back up, but I'm sure it's only because they don't want everyone rushing back in at the same time.
Something for Nothing Response:
A price of $59.99 means we're paying roughly $0.08 per hour to play during the first month. Will we be compensated $0.40 plus applicable taxes for the downtime?
The Horse Isn't Dead Yet Response:
Why does there have to be weekly maintenance?
Legal Aide Response:
If you would like to participate in a class-action lawsuit against Zenimax for breach of contract, in accordance with section 13, paragraph 9, and as cited in the McGraw v. Smith case, please send me a PM.
LOLcats Response:
I can haz playtime now?
Friends In High Places Response:
My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who works at Zenimax, and she said it would be up in the next hour.
@SookieStackhouse
Reverie Divination | Midnight Reverie | Miss Sookie Stackhouse
"Leave it to Sookie and her precious fairy vajayjay."
Reverie Divination | Midnight Reverie | Miss Sookie Stackhouse
"Leave it to Sookie and her precious fairy vajayjay."
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Skjlvald✭✭✭@SookieStackhouse
Pessimistic Response:
They told us it was just a quick fix, so it'll probably be up sometime Saturday.
^ThisUlyn Andrano
VR3 Dark Elf Dragonknight
Ebonheart Pact0 -
Korah_Eaglecry✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭I can tell youve been waiting to use this one OP. Hilarious though.Penniless Sellsword CompanyCaptain Paramount - Jorrhaq VhentKorith Eaglecry * Enrerion Aedihle * Laerinel Rhaev * Caius Berilius * Seylina Ithvala * H'Vak the GrimjawlTenarei Rhaev * Dazsh Ro Khar * Yynril Rothvani * Bathes-In-Coin * Anaelle Faerniil * Azjani Ma'LesAban Shahid Bakr * Kheshna gra-Gharbuk * Gallisten Bondurant * Etain Maquier * Atsu Kalame * Faulpia SeverinusWhat is better, to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort? - Paarthurnax0 -
Darzil✭✭✭SookieStackhouse wrote: »Legal Adult Response:
You're a spoiled child who needs to learn some patience. No one owes you anything, nor are you entitled to play right now. When I was a kid, we spent 16 hours installing a game on an 8-bit system.
16 hours? Must have been a slow typer, takes a lot less than that to type in the 1k of code from the game magazine !
Though I do recall the delight when hyperload arrived (not install, that came much later) and we could load a 16k game in 2 minutes rather than 5 from a tape cassette! (the 25% of the time it actually worked).
(makes you feel old when the joke about old people is based on people younger than you)
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kijima✭✭✭✭✭
✭You got a LOL from me.Been here since Feb 2014 - You'd think I'd be half reasonable at this game by now...
A'marta - AD Sorc Tank
Kijima - AD DK Derps
Annure - AD NB Derps
Boom Crash Opera - AD Sorc DPS0 -
Rikku451✭The Horse Isn't Dead Yet Response:
Why does there have to be weekly maintenance?
With a bit of
Jokester Response:
Here's an updated link to the server status sticky.
and a tad
Over-Caffeinated Response:
OMG, I need to play more. Must keep refreshing! Going through withdrawal LOL!!!!111one!Edited by Rikku451 on April 2, 2014 11:54AM0 -
Krayor✭✭✭Too Much Time On Your Hands Response:SookieStackhouse wrote: »If you're going to ask when the server is coming back up, just choose one of these responses and consider your question answered. Have a wonderful morning!
Legal Adult Response:
You're a spoiled child who needs to learn some patience. No one owes you anything, nor are you entitled to play right now. When I was a kid, we spent 16 hours installing a game on an 8-bit system.
Hypocritical Response:
Get a life and go outside, you fat, lazy nerd.
Zenimax Cultist Response:
If the devs told us they had to fling poo at us in order to bring the servers back up, then we should all get in line with a pair of goggles and a smile. How dare you question the Elder Scrolls Gods?
Breath-Holding Response:
If they don't update the sticky thread at least once every 5 minutes, I'm going to request a refund.
World-First Response:
I was just about to ding 50 on my 4th character and now some guy in Korea is gonna beat me. This day sucks.
Hobbyist Response:
There are many other things you could be doing instead of refreshing the forums. You could read a book, toss a football, watch TV, take a nap, play with your kids, do some laundry, or call a friend.
Over-Caffeinated Response:
OMG, I need to play more. Must keep refreshing! Going through withdrawal LOL!!!!111one!
Simplistic Response:
It'll be up when it's up.
Lazy Response:
^This.
Smug Response:
(Random unrelated quote by Mark Twain, Oscar Wilde, or some other literary figure.)
Founding Father Response:
I played Arena when you were still a twinkle in your momma's eye. You must be a Morrowind/Oblivion/Skyrim baby.
Tired Response:
TL; DR.
Peacekeeper Response:
Come on now, people. The OP asked a legitimate question. There's no need to be rude and insensitive. We're all in this together!
Told-You-So Response:
You actually thought you'd be able to play in early access? I'm not even trying to log in until at least April 7th.
English Professor Response:
You cannot play until you can learn the difference between 'your' and 'you're'.
Optimistic Response:
They told us it was just a quick fix, so it'll probably be up in an hour.
Pessimistic Response:
They told us it was just a quick fix, so it'll probably be up sometime Saturday.
Traitorous Response:
Diablo expansion, woot!
Attention-Deficit Response:
Anyone know if the servers are down? I can't seem to log in.
Suck-Up Response:
Mods/Devs, THANK YOU for the updates! We love you and we know you're trying your best! KUDOS to the team!!!
IT Professional Response:
Do you have any idea what it takes to create and maintain a game? The work it requires, the time spent fixing bugs in millions of lines of code, not to mention the QA process before the newest patch can be released to the customer? If you think you can do better, then by all means, please give it a shot.
RTFM Response:
For f's sake, read the sticky at the top and stop posting these same threads just because you're illiterate!
Xenophobic Response:
You must be an American/Australian/European/Asian/Antarctican because you think you're entitled to everything NOW NOW NOW.
Sarcastic Response:
Bro, the servers have been back up for like 15 minutes and we're all playing.
Business Person Response:
I took vacation time this week and rescheduled a meeting with my company's CEO so I could be home playing promptly at 6am. Zenimax needs to re-evaluate its work ethic and responsibility to the customer.
Jokester Response:
Here's an updated link to the server status sticky.
Conspiracy Theorist Response:
This is obviously a plot to stress test the capability of the forum software. They are tracking our IP addresses and the number of times we refresh the page in order to sync the server to handle the proper amount of traffic.
Trolling Response:
U mad brah?
In-Denial Response:
I keep trying to log in, and I know they told us they'd let us know when the servers are back up, but I'm sure it's only because they don't want everyone rushing back in at the same time.
Something for Nothing Response:
A price of $59.99 means we're paying roughly $0.08 per hour to play during the first month. Will we be compensated $0.40 plus applicable taxes for the downtime?
The Horse Isn't Dead Yet Response:
Why does there have to be weekly maintenance?
Legal Aide Response:
If you would like to participate in a class-action lawsuit against Zenimax for breach of contract, in accordance with section 13, paragraph 9, and as cited in the McGraw v. Smith case, please send me a PM.
LOLcats Response:
I can haz playtime now?
Friends In High Places Response:
My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who works at Zenimax, and she said it would be up in the next hour.
The ESO Economy screams, "major afterthought with little effort put into it!"1 -
Lalai✭✭✭✭I wish I could have given this post an LOL and an Awesome point. @SookieStackhouse thank you for the laugh.Edited by Lalai on April 2, 2014 11:57AMFisher extraordinaire!
Send me your worms, crawlers, guts, and insect parts.
Templar Healer
Daggerfall Covenant, NA1 -
Chiefwilliams✭✭✭My only complaint is that this is 2 days in a row it's down for maintenance when I get home from work and I have 1 maybe 2 hours to play before my wife and kids wake up and then I'm on baby duty
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trinta✭✭✭I can haz playtime now?Every time someone swears, it gets replaced with three asterisks. There's only one three-letter swear word that I know of. I read that in the place of every set of three asterisks. It makes for some amusing sentences.0
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Turial✭✭✭I knew what the link was.... I clicked it anyway.... youtube ads.... skip... enjoy my punishment.... worth it."Neither a 'Borrower nor a Lender' be."
Never Forget
I think you have not been on the internet long enough until you have been rick-rolled.
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.
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.Please check out Enchanting Alchemy - A Progression Guild0 -
Abeille✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭This guy has the Internet figured out.
And the life, too.Just so that everyone knows, my Altmer still can't have black hair. About a dozen of Altmer NPCs in the game have black hair. Just saying.
Meet my characters:Command: Do the thing.
Zadarri, Khajiit Fist of Thalmor: The thing was done, as commanded.
Durza gra-Maghul, Orc blacksmith: The thing was done perfectly, in the most efficient way.
Tegwen, Bosmer troublemaker: You can't prove I didn't do the thing.
Sings-Many-Songs, Argonian fisher: Sure, I'll do the thing... Eventually. Maybe.
Aerindel, Altmer stormcaller: After extensive research, I've come to the conclusion that doing the thing would be a waste of resources.
Liliel, Dunmer pyromancer: Aerindel said I shouldn't do the thing. Something about "resources".
Gyda Snowcaller, Nord cryomancer: I will find a way to do it that won't waste resources and make Aerindel proud of me.
Beatrice Leoriane, Breton vampire: I persuaded someone else into doing the thing. You are welcome, dear.
Sahima, Redguard performer: Doing the thing sounds awfully unpleasant and really not my problem.
Ellaria Valerius, Imperial priestess: I'll pray to the Eight for the thing to be done, if it is Their will.0 -
coryevans_3b14_ESO✭✭✭✭✭
✭
Oh yeah? well when I was in the Navy (a long time ago) I worked with a system that had an 8mb hard drive that weighed 80 pounds. (and i had to walk up hill both ways to replace it)SookieStackhouse wrote: »Legal Adult Response:
You're a spoiled child who needs to learn some patience. No one owes you anything, nor are you entitled to play right now. When I was a kid, we spent 16 hours installing a game on an 8-bit system.
16 hours? Must have been a slow typer, takes a lot less than that to type in the 1k of code from the game magazine !
Though I do recall the delight when hyperload arrived (not install, that came much later) and we could load a 16k game in 2 minutes rather than 5 from a tape cassette! (the 25% of the time it actually worked).
(makes you feel old when the joke about old people is based on people younger than you)
1 -
DaehirSoul ShrivenNice post, gotta do something in the downtime eh?Don't discriminate, kill em all.0 -
Damn I have my work cut out for the whole 'forum jokester' title. Nice one, OP!"There is panic in my fascination - Like soothing wine is my despair - Gracefully I fall to pieces"
Ihsahn - Elevator0
