Dear friends I haven't met yet on PC/NA:
You may have encountered me walking along the roads of Western Skyrim or the Reach in my (if I do say so myself) very snazzy bright red and white suit and hat. You may, upon having come across me, received a revelry pie to the face, unbidden. This may or may not have caused you undue distress.
Rest assured that Pie King only throws pies in an effort to spread goodwill and cheer across the Pie Kingdom, which some have mistakenly taken to calling "Tamriel". In no way should the pies to the face be misconstrued as hostile, because honestly blueberry pies are delicious and having one delivered directly into one's mouth should be an occasion for joy, not sorrow. I do, however, apologize for any who consider pies as baseline antagonistic. You are wrong, but I apologize nonetheless. With that said, these are dark days, and to combat them I shall humbly continue my steady course of walking the various roads and byways of the Pie Kingdom, spreading mirth in the best way I know how. HUZZAH!
- Pie King
P.S.: I know not of this "Santa" everyone keeps going on about, but he seems like a decent fellow and I'm sure if I ever meet him we would get along swimmingly. With pie, of course.
ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber!
SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.