The Gold Road Chapter – which includes the Scribing system – and Update 42 is now available to test on the PTS! You can read the latest patch notes here: https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/656454/
Let's throw some Pirate tale for the incoming Pirate-ish expansion!
Flyinghusky
Soul Shriven
Just wanted to share some good mood for the incoming expansion... and this made me laugh. Hope you like it 
So there was this famous pirate, Terror of the Eltheric Ocean, Scourge of the Azurian sea, dismay of the Abecean merchants, Lord of the Sea of pearls. Any way you get it, he was famous and as much traveled as M'aiq the Liar but in the sea. Naturally many were eager (and some ardent) to hear all about his exploits and adventures, so this particular acclaimed Bard managed an interview with the intriguing Pirate.
His first question was "So tell us my Seafearer Legend, what is the story behind your wooden leg" - He lively (or drunkenly?) answered "Oi, me dear scallywag, ye see that be a mighty interestin' tale. Thar I was fightin' me way through a crowd o' Sea Mer, fleetin' wit' one mighty Coffer when this giantic slimmy eight-legged bulb-noggin' monster decided t' grab me leg wit' his serrated suckers 'n gashed it out o' me knee, t'was quite a show rest assured, me blood spattered all through the Poop Deck!! Hollered like a sea lion fightin' fer a mate, I did."
"Ohh wow incredibly you survived that...quite the tale huh, I bet you won't disappoint then, when I ask about that Hooked hand of yours".
"Ahh Blisterin' barnacles me land lubber scallywag, that one be a spooky one. Ye see we be chasing and lootin' the Pyandoneans Haunted Ship, long lost on the seas 'n only to be found by those who know where t' look. Boarded we did" -he said opening his one eye dramatically- "Only the creakin' o' the ole planks could be heard, when all o' a sudden I heard a wet thud laggard o'me. Thar they be, 3 rapscallions covered in weed 'n coral, crabs crawlin' out o' thar mouths only t' get back in through thar rotten gullets. Fight was other wordly me lassie. Needless t' say I survived, unfortunately me hand will forever remain swabbin' the rancid decks o' the Haunted Ship.
"You indeed have seen your share and some Lord, and I cannot await to hear the story of that eye patch, it must be gripping!":
"Oyyy matey, ooooyyyy ye got thar right" said the pirate growing visibly sad "That one be incredibly sad 'n bloody tale, I still get the shudders when I reckon the pain n' agony when it happened"
"But, what could have happened to put you into such a mood Lord".
"Luffing we were, charting our next booty was I with o' elp of the sun as any abled Pirate when a bilge-sucking Seagull pooped in me Eye". Said the pirate matter-of-factly before entertaining himself with his sleeves.
"......a Seagull pooped, in your eye...." Said the Bard in disconcert.
"Ayyy ayyye blasted dung on me orb!".
"I....sorry I don't understand... how, poop?...". Said the bard utterly confused, only fear and respect help to keep his whit's about him.
The pirate shrugged "I 'ad just fitted me new hand 'ook that there day".
That day, the bard earned his Thaila&Melpo mask. Cheers! Hope you liked it and sorry for any bad written English.
Edited by Flyinghusky on April 13, 2022 8:24PM So there was this famous pirate, Terror of the Eltheric Ocean, Scourge of the Azurian sea, dismay of the Abecean merchants, Lord of the Sea of pearls. Any way you get it, he was famous and as much traveled as M'aiq the Liar but in the sea. Naturally many were eager (and some ardent) to hear all about his exploits and adventures, so this particular acclaimed Bard managed an interview with the intriguing Pirate.
His first question was "So tell us my Seafearer Legend, what is the story behind your wooden leg" - He lively (or drunkenly?) answered "Oi, me dear scallywag, ye see that be a mighty interestin' tale. Thar I was fightin' me way through a crowd o' Sea Mer, fleetin' wit' one mighty Coffer when this giantic slimmy eight-legged bulb-noggin' monster decided t' grab me leg wit' his serrated suckers 'n gashed it out o' me knee, t'was quite a show rest assured, me blood spattered all through the Poop Deck!! Hollered like a sea lion fightin' fer a mate, I did."
"Ohh wow incredibly you survived that...quite the tale huh, I bet you won't disappoint then, when I ask about that Hooked hand of yours".
"Ahh Blisterin' barnacles me land lubber scallywag, that one be a spooky one. Ye see we be chasing and lootin' the Pyandoneans Haunted Ship, long lost on the seas 'n only to be found by those who know where t' look. Boarded we did" -he said opening his one eye dramatically- "Only the creakin' o' the ole planks could be heard, when all o' a sudden I heard a wet thud laggard o'me. Thar they be, 3 rapscallions covered in weed 'n coral, crabs crawlin' out o' thar mouths only t' get back in through thar rotten gullets. Fight was other wordly me lassie. Needless t' say I survived, unfortunately me hand will forever remain swabbin' the rancid decks o' the Haunted Ship.
"You indeed have seen your share and some Lord, and I cannot await to hear the story of that eye patch, it must be gripping!":
"Oyyy matey, ooooyyyy ye got thar right" said the pirate growing visibly sad "That one be incredibly sad 'n bloody tale, I still get the shudders when I reckon the pain n' agony when it happened"
"But, what could have happened to put you into such a mood Lord".
"Luffing we were, charting our next booty was I with o' elp of the sun as any abled Pirate when a bilge-sucking Seagull pooped in me Eye". Said the pirate matter-of-factly before entertaining himself with his sleeves.
"......a Seagull pooped, in your eye...." Said the Bard in disconcert.
"Ayyy ayyye blasted dung on me orb!".
"I....sorry I don't understand... how, poop?...". Said the bard utterly confused, only fear and respect help to keep his whit's about him.
The pirate shrugged "I 'ad just fitted me new hand 'ook that there day".
That day, the bard earned his Thaila&Melpo mask. Cheers! Hope you liked it and sorry for any bad written English.
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