The Gold Road Chapter – which includes the Scribing system – and Update 42 is now available to test on the PTS! You can read the latest patch notes here: https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/656454/
So I made a friend in eso, how do I keep him?
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waterfairy✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭I have played ESO for almost 5 years.
Have made a few acquaintances and only one real friend.
Ended up exchanging phone numbers and would message each other occasionaly and played together quite a lot. Always said hi when we were online and we spoke on Discord whilst playing. Sometimes for hours.
Best time I've ever had in ESO is playing with my friend.
But... I made the mistake of developing deeper feelings... and now I no longer have my friend... and it's terrible. ESO and my life are not the same.
My advice... be friends, but don't get too close.
I think most of us have made that mistake or got lost in our feelings simply for finding someone who shares love for eso and other similar interests...it's ok to feel that way as long as you accept it might not be mutual2 -
Its_MySniff✭✭✭I'd love to know as well, ps4 NA here. [snip] Be aware of new players fast tracking every dungeon, trial and so on to vet at less than 300 cp. If it's take and no give, run. Some are short term, blast away and don't care for farming of any type. Feel a player out, some share personal stories, some discuss armor penalties and ratios. If after three groups it dies, walk away and keep playing. If randoms are an issue, try a guild with weekly activity. Big thing to remember, some folks only dip the toes into Eso, then go to Red Dead etc, worry about you and enjoy a fair weather friend here and there.
[Edit for inappropriate comment.]Edited by ZOS_GregoryV on July 29, 2021 3:14AM0 -
jacktalkthai✭✭My only advice would be don't be clingy. Some people get weird on these sorts of games, unintentionally.
I had one friend who became a bit annoying simply because he insisted on typing 'lol' after everything he wrote. You'd log in and immediately be greeted with a 'hey lol'. It's a minor thing, but come on.
A cool guy I played with on Diablo 3 told me one afternoon (as we were talking about friendships made online) that he had met his 'best friend' on Diablo 3 a few weeks earlier. His best friend. He went on to tell me that the friend was getting put out of his current home so he invited the new best friend to move in with him and his relatively new, young wife. He was even going to get the guy the bus ticket. I wonder, from time to time, how that ended.3 -
Its_MySniff✭✭✭I'd love an update on that. Takes a special guy to not hook a young anything. I've yet to use lol seriously since 1995. I abhor it. Some people you can say anything too, others you may get hammered for a monster set on a tank. Maybe it's finesse, or the drive to accomplish certain content. Or just enjoy a single serving friend. Thank you Chuck.0
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Ringing_Nirnroot✭✭✭✭✭I’m having trouble keeping friends too, most of the time it’s me having trust issues and letting go of the person or burning bridges which isn’t good obviously2 -
Icy_Waffles✭✭✭✭✭This was truly difficult for me to read.
My advice is simple. Don’t overthink it. Be kind but don’t try too hard. Be yourself. Let your guard down a little and be able to just laugh. I mean honestly working through your social issues is important work. It takes courage and maturity.
You can do it. Worst thing that can happen is this guy and you never play content again and you had a good moment with another player.
Continue to be kind and work with others- you’ll do just fine.0 -
Chips_Ahoy✭✭✭✭✭jacktalkthai wrote: »I had one friend who became a bit annoying simply because he insisted on typing 'lol' after everything he wrote. You'd log in and immediately be greeted with a 'hey lol'. It's a minor thing, but come on..Hello 😊
As the title says, I made a friend while playing solo. I was feeling lonely but busy so I had enough to do to not focus on my loneliness and surely enough i met a nice dude. We were killing overland bosses and we grouped up then we added each other.
My concern now is how do I keep this friendship? Im sociably awkward and I struggle with over thinking. I have social anxiety and i'm not sure of the online friendship code or ettiquete.
Is it okay to say hello every day i see them online ? They enjoy doing group activities so is it okay for me to initiate an invite to group? How do i know how much space to give them? Im seriously not very good at this social thing.
Help please.
Well, as they say above, just be yourself.
Or you can call 900-Chips Ahoy and for only 9.99 per minute you will be a friend of Gorgo the Beautiful and for an extra 6.99 you will have access to high class Guar - High Elf ERP
Or if you are in PC NA just add me @Chips_Ahoy
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agegarton✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭Wow, some lovely, warm suggestions here - faith in gaming humanity is restored!
Can I suggest that you also think about joining a social guild. There are loads out there which cater for people who are a bit shy or not great in every social situation, etc. If you’re on PC/EU, look up Chronicles of the Moon. No pressure, no need to join discord or participate in anything unless you want to. It might help you figure out how best to maintain your friendship - and make new friendships too - just by looking at guild chat and seeing how others respond to one another and how they interact.
Whatever happens, I wish you well and hope you have great fun playing ESO.1 -
Recent✭✭✭✭✭
My best friend in ESO really hated vDSA. But he could agree to do it just to help out. So I remembered to never ask him about joining me for vDSA, because I would never want him to feel uncomfortable.
3) You can talk about different in-game things. That way, you will see if you have common interests, and you will know the daily routine of each other.
For example, we both were doing crafting writs on multiple characters. If we happen to have conversation during this time, we would often say "brb relogging" and then "back"
I had (and have) very good people among my friends in ESO (even if not on my Friend list, but always on my mind
). But there was one person who was my Best Friend in ESO, such friendships happen only once in a lifetime. And our friendship endured even while we were both not very social people. I remember how we didn't talk to each other for some time, and this friendship could end because of silence. One simple "Hello buddy " resurrected the friendship!
Sadly, he left ESO before Elsweyr release, and he never returned
I really-really miss him.
It was awesome to do some activities together and to talk about in-game things. We also shared our useful secrets with each other.
One day, we were having conversation about Cipher. I was obsessed with it, I really wanted to have it from RNG drop, to learn the recipe. I even had a dream when I got it from a wolf mob on some hill. I told my friend about that. He said that if he would get it, he would never waste in on learning and rather sell it. I told him that for me this item would be far too precious to sell... Few days later, he sent me this mail:
I wanted to return it immediately, but then I read the words in the mail.
I learned the recipe only thanks to my friend
I never had Cipher drop for me from RNG. And I would never buy it, because that is simply not fun to buy everything. But the way I got it back then was much more precious.[/quote]
Thank you so much...your reply means a lot 😊
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Recent✭✭✭✭✭I have played ESO for almost 5 years.
Have made a few acquaintances and only one real friend.
Ended up exchanging phone numbers and would message each other occasionaly and played together quite a lot. Always said hi when we were online and we spoke on Discord whilst playing. Sometimes for hours.
Best time I've ever had in ESO is playing with my friend.
But... I made the mistake of developing deeper feelings... and now I no longer have my friend... and it's terrible. ESO and my life are not the same.
My advice... be friends, but don't get too close.
😢I'm sorry that happened to you.0 -
Recent✭✭✭✭✭VilniusNastavnik wrote: »Hello 😊
-SNIP- Im sociably awkward and I struggle with over thinking. I have social anxiety and i'm not sure of the online friendship code or ettiquete.
-SNIP- Im seriously not very good at this social thing.
Help please.
There is already a lot of good advice here from others from an in game perspective. Thought id way in on an irl perspective.
In highschool i was a public speaker.
After high school personal issues caused me to go to a darkplace and became a recluse. Only leaving the house for work and uni. Would spend months not really saying a word.
Fast forward 6 years. Graduated uni with my Eng. Degree. Socially inept. The firm I was working for having gone under due to the financial crisis. Struggling to get work due to what I had become. Lost so much confidence in my abilities etc.
Mate dragged me to Toastmasters. Its a public speaking group that helps you become not only a better speaker but also a more confident person.
Ended up getting an administrator role at same time. Over 12 months co-workers started commenting on how much i had changed.
So some resurces i can recomnend to get over your social hurdle.. join toastmasters. If you dont already, joining a gym and working on self can boost confidence. Join a social group. My group pre covid went hiking twice a month. 5-20 people regular.
Thank you for the great advice 😊0 -
Magdalina✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭MirandaSharp wrote: »Hello 😊
As the title says …Im seriously not very good at this social thing.
Help please.
Hi, are you on PC or PS4/Xbox? It’s ok to say hi when you see the dude online, perhaps chat on game stuff is ok. Don’t ask personal questions like hobbies or favourite food though, that raises my red flag…
Agree. Crazy how some people think ESO is a dating game... Getting questions about my age, location hobbies etc is just really awkward. I'm playing a fictional character in ESO and I'm way too old for 99% of the player base to cause any interest IRL
Eh. Nothing wrong with making actual friends in game. If you play with the person a lot and kinda like them as a person then eventually while waiting for some op long groupfinder queue or something you just might start some idle chat like where they from, what they like etc. Nothing wrong with that (altho it would be weird if hobby was first thing you asked when friending someone in ESO). If nothing else, it's always very interesting to talk to people from other countries. There're some people I've met in ESO I've been keeping in touch with for years, through my and their years-long ESO breaks. They're nice and fun people, we share some interests, why not?
To OP - good luck, just don't stress out about it too much:) Remember, it's online, you can be whatever and whoever you want, don't be too afraid.1 -
Snowy_Wyndra_Karn✭✭✭✭✭I have played ESO for almost 5 years.
Have made a few acquaintances and only one real friend.
Ended up exchanging phone numbers and would message each other occasionaly and played together quite a lot. Always said hi when we were online and we spoke on Discord whilst playing. Sometimes for hours.
Best time I've ever had in ESO is playing with my friend.
But... I made the mistake of developing deeper feelings... and now I no longer have my friend... and it's terrible. ESO and my life are not the same.
My advice... be friends, but don't get too close.
😢I'm sorry that happened to you.
Thank you. I’ve closed myself off to meeting new people because of past experiences and the fact my friend is now gone is just simply awful.
I appreciate your message.0 -
theyancey✭✭✭✭✭
✭Ask if they are in a guild they like. If so seek to join. This may give you a group of like minded people. I would not seek an individual out daily. Some may feel like they are being stalked even if that is not the case. Just let thing s develop as they may. As in RL people come and go in the game. Let if flow. I primarily play solo. I don't see well so I don't chat. However if you are ever on PC NA give a shout out to Yangela Grace if you need a hand0 -
Gandamir✭✭✭Hello 😊
As the title says, I made a friend while playing solo. I was feeling lonely but busy so I had enough to do to not focus on my loneliness and surely enough i met a nice dude. We were killing overland bosses and we grouped up then we added each other.
My concern now is how do I keep this friendship? Im sociably awkward and I struggle with over thinking. I have social anxiety and i'm not sure of the online friendship code or ettiquete.
Is it okay to say hello every day i see them online ? They enjoy doing group activities so is it okay for me to initiate an invite to group? How do i know how much space to give them? Im seriously not very good at this social thing.
Help please.
Hi @Recent !
First off, I want to thank you for being as open as you have been with this as it will not just help you, but others in your situation.
Second, I run a fun social PvE guild that focuses on veteran content. We have players at all levels, of all social abilities, and we are helpful and work with players to help them get ready for veteran content. If you are on the EU/PC server (I saw you were PC), reach out to me in game (@Gandamir) and I will get you an invite to the Cultists of the RNG. You are welcome to dip your toe in the waters of guilds with us, and be as active or as inactive as you would like.
Wishing you well,
Gandamir0