PvP Explained in Plain English

Alienoutlaw

The 1st step to being a great PvP'er
Research builds and make threads asking which class/race and skill are OP, once you have found a build the Youtuber claims can 1vX 30 ppl with video proof of them taking down 1 or 2 friend......i mean players, procceded to spend gold getting all the right gear.

2nd step Entering Cyrodill for the 1st time.
Now that you have your tried and tested 1vX build its time to kill lots of ppl, but wait......the map is a different colour to the faction you chose, to countermand this proceed to the forum and complain about faction lock (multiple threads should do the trick) after you have done this try to switch sides to the colour that is winning (it may cost you so you'll need to complain about that also) once you have settled you will want to find enemies, these will normally come in groups of 100 or so but the guy on youtube said you can kill them all with your OP build so no problem............oop's you died? no problem you need to find either a rock/tree or tower to run around (this will make you a great PvP player honest) but its not your fault after all your build is a 1vX from youtube and you can do all the hard stuff in PvE, but if you find that you are still dying onto step 3

3rd step who is to blame?
This is very simple "The Other Guy/Girl" Obviously they have exploited a set or skill or are simply cheating, ignore the death recap as you could not possibly have done anything better and certainly not against only 1 person as you have a youtube build, Instead make your way back to the Forums and scan the PvP posts and choose and Bandwagon that suits you and proceed to jump in with anything that you feel looks like it will get a like or an awesome, even better research nerf threads and repeat blindly (all the good players do that honest) finally comes step 4

4th step What Now?
This is very simple and a great tip from some of the Greatest PvP players in the game, simply repeat steps 1-3 with a "different class/race" rinse and repeat until every class and skill line has been destroyed making you finally able to kill something

Sergykid

sorry i don't really understand your concerns. U fail at pvp because internet builds don't work? go to eso-sets.com and search urself some fun sets and play for fun. If u "don't wanna die" just play a troll tank or extreme kiter. U can always follow the meta cheese for having an easier time.

Alienoutlaw

Sergykid wrote: »

sorry i don't really understand your concerns. U fail at pvp because internet builds don't work? go to eso-sets.com and search urself some fun sets and play for fun. If u "don't wanna die" just play a troll tank or extreme kiter. U can always follow the meta cheese for having an easier time.

it was a satirical post

Beardimus

Alienoutlaw wrote: »

Sergykid wrote: »

sorry i don't really understand your concerns. U fail at pvp because internet builds don't work? go to eso-sets.com and search urself some fun sets and play for fun. If u "don't wanna die" just play a troll tank or extreme kiter. U can always follow the meta cheese for having an easier time.

it was a satirical post

And the point of it?

Need help with your build or anything?

Iskiab

You forgot the part about how rock humping or cowering in a tower and ignoring all the objectives is the highest form of pvp.

Why actually play the objectives of where you are when you can try and farm new players?

marius_buys

Funny AF OP, gg.

vamp_emily

The 1st step to being a great PvP'er is learn to work as an alliance/team. So many fail at this.

Reverb

vamp_emily wrote: »

The 1st step to being a great PvP'er is learn to work as an alliance/team. So many fail at this.

So many gamers just don’t want to do this. They want to know what to buy to be better than everyone else, right away, with minimal (or better yet, no) effort. Anything that stands in their way is a barrier to their immediate satisfaction, for which there must be someone to blame.

Pve mechanics are too hard and must be nerfed. Their internet build For pvp is better than some classes and builds but weak against others. Clearly any skill or play style that poses a challenge to them must be nerfed. Why bother to learn about effective siege placement, campaign scoring, map prediction, scouting, or anything else? If they get tired of 1vXing they can just join the 100 man Zerg and take the map.

And after finding the path of least resistance through the entire game, complain that it’s boring.

MerguezMan

Alienoutlaw wrote: »

simply repeat steps 1-3 with a "different class/race" rinse and repeat until every class and skill line has been destroyed making you finally able to kill something

Right, but you destroyed every class and skill line, so you may have a hard time finding something that can actually kill a player... Following that same logic, you should complain about everything EXCEPT your target build (which may not be your current).

Ex:
- you want to play stamblade, but find it currently underpowered
- swap to magplar, play it for 3 hours, then go to the forums and ask for magplar nerf, saying "hey guys, I play a magplar and feel OP to hell"
- wait for actual nerf
- go back to stamblade, try again against magplar, get destroyed by stamnecro
- swap to stamnecro, ...

Tommy_The_Gun

OP post = This year (2019) in nutshell... (yep I know how that sounds, but it is more or less true... so many nerfs, so many things wrecked)

ChunkyCat

too long, didn’t read

Nerf Sorc

Iskiab

MerguezMan wrote: »

Alienoutlaw wrote: »

simply repeat steps 1-3 with a "different class/race" rinse and repeat until every class and skill line has been destroyed making you finally able to kill something

Right, but you destroyed every class and skill line, so you may have a hard time finding something that can actually kill a player... Following that same logic, you should complain about everything EXCEPT your target build (which may not be your current).

Ex:
- you want to play stamblade, but find it currently underpowered
- swap to magplar, play it for 3 hours, then go to the forums and ask for magplar nerf, saying "hey guys, I play a magplar and feel OP to hell"
- wait for actual nerf
- go back to stamblade, try again against magplar, get destroyed by stamnecro
- swap to stamnecro, ...

Hey, that’s me! Except started as a magblade, do okayish, reroll to magplar and wreck people making me paranoid. Roll a warden just in case magplar gets nerfed to be ahead of the nerfs.

VaranisArano

Pretty funny!

My own foray into trying the "meta build" was the pre-Morrowind Blazeplar. I had Step 1 and 2 down pat. At the time, everyone was complaining about Blazeplars, their OP 1vX skills, and how they were unkillable OP monsters in Cyrodiil.

I got my butt kicked.

Unfortunately, I failed at Step 3! My reaction was more along the lines of "So I took a brand new build into Cyrodiil and expected to be as good as the folks who have mastered it? Huh, you know, that wasn't very logical of me."

Since then I've mostly stuck with builds I like to play rather than trying to follow the meta. Clearly I need to get better at blaming the other guy/girl who beats me instead of evaluating my own performance!

Alienoutlaw

Iskiab wrote: »

You forgot the part about how rock humping or cowering in a tower and ignoring all the objectives is the highest form of pvp.

Why actually play the objectives of where you are when you can try and farm new players?

nope its there if you read

Alienoutlaw

listen this was just abit of fun taking the mic out of all the posts for the last year i hoped some ppl would see the funny side of it, guess i missed the mark lol

Nord_Raseri

This is fantastic. I've been doing it all wrong! Thank you, @Alienoutlaw!

Waffennacht

Hrm, I came for the Plain English and all I got was Common English.

I've been trolled.

I like satirical posts; so I like yours.

Gilvoth

Alienoutlaw wrote: »

The 1st step to being a great PvP'er
Research builds and make threads asking which class/race and skill are OP, once you have found a build the Youtuber claims can 1vX 30 ppl with video proof of them taking down 1 or 2 friend......i mean players, procceded to spend gold getting all the right gear.

2nd step Entering Cyrodill for the 1st time.
Now that you have your tried and tested 1vX build its time to kill lots of ppl, but wait......the map is a different colour to the faction you chose, to countermand this proceed to the forum and complain about faction lock (multiple threads should do the trick) after you have done this try to switch sides to the colour that is winning (it may cost you so you'll need to complain about that also) once you have settled you will want to find enemies, these will normally come in groups of 100 or so but the guy on youtube said you can kill them all with your OP build so no problem............oop's you died? no problem you need to find either a rock/tree or tower to run around (this will make you a great PvP player honest) but its not your fault after all your build is a 1vX from youtube and you can do all the hard stuff in PvE, but if you find that you are still dying onto step 3

3rd step who is to blame?
This is very simple "The Other Guy/Girl" Obviously they have exploited a set or skill or are simply cheating, ignore the death recap as you could not possibly have done anything better and certainly not against only 1 person as you have a youtube build, Instead make your way back to the Forums and scan the PvP posts and choose and Bandwagon that suits you and proceed to jump in with anything that you feel looks like it will get a like or an awesome, even better research nerf threads and repeat blindly (all the good players do that honest) finally comes step 4

4th step What Now?
This is very simple and a great tip from some of the Greatest PvP players in the game, simply repeat steps 1-3 with a "different class/race" rinse and repeat until every class and skill line has been destroyed making you finally able to kill something

this ^
all truth

Gilvoth

Alienoutlaw wrote: »

listen this was just abit of fun taking the mic out of all the posts for the last year i hoped some ppl would see the funny side of it, guess i missed the mark lol

you didnt "miss" the mark.
your OP is truth.
people dont like truth.

and when confront them and attack in pvp they start spam healing while jumprunning away.

xWarbrain

And to think I spent all that time L'ing2P. Stupid me.

This topic should be pinned to the top for new players.

Xvorg

vamp_emily wrote: »

The 1st step to being a great PvP'er is learn to work as an alliance/team. So many fail at this.

pretty much this...

and learning that being useful is much better than being emperor... and being useful implies dying.... a lot...

Alienoutlaw

honestly this is just proving the things i said in jest, nothing in my post was ment to be serious yet i see ppl trying to read more into into my post than was ment, for those of you that got the joke i commend you for those that didnt and have seen something of yourself in my satire i suggest you re-read and laugh with the rest of us or apply step 3 until you can

Alienoutlaw

VaranisArano wrote: »

Pretty funny!

My own foray into trying the "meta build" was the pre-Morrowind Blazeplar. I had Step 1 and 2 down pat. At the time, everyone was complaining about Blazeplars, their OP 1vX skills, and how they were unkillable OP monsters in Cyrodiil.

I got my butt kicked.

Unfortunately, I failed at Step 3! My reaction was more along the lines of "So I took a brand new build into Cyrodiil and expected to be as good as the folks who have mastered it? Huh, you know, that wasn't very logical of me."

Since then I've mostly stuck with builds I like to play rather than trying to follow the meta. Clearly I need to get better at blaming the other guy/girl who beats me instead of evaluating my own performance!

lol you get the point and see the humour in the truth

Sable751

I found it funny ... pity the people looking in the mirror don't seem to have a sense of humour.

Trancestor

Its funny you mentioned complaining about cheats, usually its your kind that does that whenever they get 1vx'd

Alienoutlaw

Trancestor wrote: »

Its funny you mentioned complaining about cheats, usually its your kind that does that whenever they get 1vx'd

my kind?

Kadoin

Alienoutlaw wrote: »

Trancestor wrote: »

Its funny you mentioned complaining about cheats, usually its your kind that does that whenever they get 1vx'd

my kind?

Did someone blow the whistle for the mod? I have a feeling this will be considered bait. I just got a few fish in-game using it.

WoppaBoem

You for sure speak out of your own experience, GG keep the loop of steps going mate

validifyedneb18_ESO

git gud or suck trying

Taunky

Lmfao, this was a good read! Anyone who's pissy about it is probably part of the problem.

Cathexis

Finally someone who understands step 3 and being awesome.

This guy gets it.