So I had a lovely fake tank just now

ApostateHobo

Normally fake tanks don't really bother me because they're generally pretty good dps and you can plow throught stuff quickly, but this guy was one salty extremely squishy potato. 12k hp and low cp in light armor. We got city of ash 1, so this wasn't like it was a difficult dungeon or anything. I was the healer, and I just could not keep this guy alive. Everyone else was basically full hp the whole time, but this dude just got farted on and somehow combusted. So naturally at the end of the dungeon he tells me I need to learn to heal and leaves. I made the mistake of telling him he needs to use food and not queue as a tank. Oh boy.

Dude goes off on how all of us were so terrible and slow, how he can't be expected to tank when he isn't one (literally his words), and that he carried us through that dungeon (funny because he was dead half the time). Calls me a reta(3 more letters here) about 20 times. Repeatedly tells me I have no idea what I'm doing. Responded to him asking why, if it was me that sucked, did no one else die or have any issues. Also explained to him that the other two people needed to do the quest, so I wasn't going to run ahead and abandon them as they were low level clearly new players and said he needed to stop being such a jerk.

Dude just responded with more insults even called me a pelican and a pleb XD Honestly the whole thing was funny as hell because he was just so stereotypically one of those players that thinks they're amazing and everyone else is garbage. The cherry on top though was him calling himself a dps god and boasting about his 20k dps. Which I'm pretty sure is double what he actually does judging by how slow he killed a single scamp lol

barney2525

a pelican?

ApostateHobo

barney2525 wrote: »

a pelican?

Yup a pelican

mairwen85

Who boasts about 20k?

slickygm

20k DPS*







*with an AOE ult dropped on a large trash pull...

PS. We seriously had a guy in our guild that would boast about such things all the time

phaneub17_ESO

Maybe he meant Seagull, dropping crap everywhere, and couldn't think of it so... Pelican?

luen79rwb17_ESO

Ewww what an experience. Luckily I get to meet that sort of player once like every 6 months.

Solid_Metal

...pelican ?, probably the worst insult ever

FierceSam

Nicely done for sticking with the newer players. That’s the way to play the game.

I have now added ‘Pelican’ to my banned words list. Thanks for the warning.

idk

1. Never rez a guy like that. Never. Waste of soul gems even though we have tons of them.
2. Why did you not kick him early on. Clearly you did not need a tank or warm body.
3. Never reply to an idiot like them. They are an idiot so what good do you think it will be. If you do reply, be snarky and then ignore so they can fume.

Hämähäkki

I had a similar experience yesterday, but my guy was lvl 10 and heal. I was tank and the heal guy was running around with sword and board, he was constantly taking the spot from the bosses and as I told him that he should stop doing this he got mad. I told him he signed up as heal and should not run around with sword and board. But he got pissed and left the group.

stewhead2ub17_ESO

Well, as birds go, you could probably do worse than a pelican lol

VaranisArano

Gotta love it when I heal normal dungeons and get the fake tanks who are like "Just relax, I'll carry everyone "

And then I start healing them on the first boss and its like "No...someone's getting carried here and its not me, Mr. Squishy McGlasscannon."

wishlist14

I don't know why but I though of a Nord with streaky orange skin 😜(fake tan) omg ppl just dont get my jokes😆

ApostateHobo

idk wrote: »

1. Never rez a guy like that. Never. Waste of soul gems even though we have tons of them.
2. Why did you not kick him early on. Clearly you did not need a tank or warm body.
3. Never reply to an idiot like them. They are an idiot so what good do you think it will be. If you do reply, be snarky and then ignore so they can fume.

Yeah nobody rezzed him we all just let him lie there haha, and I don't really like kicking people because I feel kinda mean when I do though this guy would've deserved it. I've also never really had salty whispers from people so I wasn't really expecting what I got XD

ZonasArch

I would be ok being a pelican, I think. I don't get it.

Tan9oSuccka

This guy sounds like a real winner.

The last time I ran into this kind of thing, I hung back and let the guy die.

I’m not a person that “teabags” very often (almost never), but I bagged him during the entire fight until the boss was dead. He can use his own soul gems.

Vietfox

I love it when tanks mess it up by not blocking when they have to or not taunting properly and getting the whole group wiped and then blame the healer.

idk

ApostateHobo wrote: »

idk wrote: »

1. Never rez a guy like that. Never. Waste of soul gems even though we have tons of them.
2. Why did you not kick him early on. Clearly you did not need a tank or warm body.
3. Never reply to an idiot like them. They are an idiot so what good do you think it will be. If you do reply, be snarky and then ignore so they can fume.

Yeah nobody rezzed him we all just let him lie there haha, and I don't really like kicking people because I feel kinda mean when I do though this guy would've deserved it. I've also never really had salty whispers from people so I wasn't really expecting what I got XD

I do not kick people who are struggling to learn or less experienced. I tend to queue with a full group but we sometimes purposely queue with only 3 or ask in zone and know we can carry the person if they are not a strong player.

But if they are total idiots or jerks I do not hesitate to kick. I tend to give them a warning and then kick, so I am nice about it except for the part I often kick just before the final boss then enjoy their rage filled rants whispered to me like I care.

Aznarb

Even in easy DG no I just kick player who don't queue with the good role.
To many bad experience.

The worst are those guy joining DLC vet content.. Or the famous PvP "Tank" with 20k hp who got one shot many time by the 1st boss of Bloodroot Forge (end up let him dead and I've tank it myself as healer and then kick him).

These guy who use fake role to get low queue time should get punished.
You're not happy with queue time ? Find friend or don't play DPS, simple.
Stop being selfish.

ArchMikem

Reminds me of this dude that just alpha male'd me for a good ten minutes because i defended ZOS in chat.

Elwendryll

I sometime pugs for vet DLC dungeon. The other day I was queuing as a DD with a guildmate as a Tank, March of Sacrifice. The other DD asked for a no-death, spoiler, we died. But instead we agreed on trying the Hard Mode.

We start to get the hardmode right. Our healer disconnects at the start of a pull, we get Balorgh to 35% with 3 people. We try to find a replacement, NB fake healer...
We let him play as a DD as we can get through the hunt phase without healer.
He asks if we go for HM, he says it's cool and... He dies, a looooot, even out of the hunt phase, on dumb things, just out of rezz, etc... and he links the (completed) achievement for the beast personality, saying he's a really good DD but the fire mechanic is a bad mechanic. After a last try my tank whispers me, I initiated a vote to kick without a shred of guilt, and it went very smoothly. I got a friend to join and we did the HM first try with 3 DD. Then did a speedrun on first try.

So, this guy, queue in vet as fake healer, die to basic mechanics while pretending to have the achievements, says he's a very good DD and blame the mechanics. I know we were going for something particularly hard, and pugging was taking extra risks, but there are very good pugs out there. Anyway, I'm very kind and patient to people who just need to learn and have a positive attitude, but this guy was none of that. Unwilling to listen our advice, and just blaming the game for his lack of understanding of the mechanics.

I got the other DD in my guild So what started as a pug ended as a guild run.

LadyNalcarya

VaranisArano wrote: »

Gotta love it when I heal normal dungeons and get the fake tanks who are like "Just relax, I'll carry everyone "

And then I start healing them on the first boss and its like "No...someone's getting carried here and its not me, Mr. Squishy McGlasscannon."

Well, tbh many of these "glass cannons" are missing the "cannon" part.

idk

VaranisArano wrote: »

Gotta love it when I heal normal dungeons and get the fake tanks who are like "Just relax, I'll carry everyone "

And then I start healing them on the first boss and its like "No...someone's getting carried here and its not me, Mr. Squishy McGlasscannon."

If they actually say they will carry everyone, then they will not. Those that boast are often not as good of a player as they think they are and those that actually can let their actions speak for them. They do not need to boast.

witchdoctor

LadyNalcarya wrote: »

VaranisArano wrote: »

Gotta love it when I heal normal dungeons and get the fake tanks who are like "Just relax, I'll carry everyone "

And then I start healing them on the first boss and its like "No...someone's getting carried here and its not me, Mr. Squishy McGlasscannon."

Well, tbh many of these "glass cannons" are missing the "cannon" part.

Yep. More like glass bottle-rocket.

sionIV

Player 1: "You have the DPS of a scamp!"

Player 2: "You couldn't taunt a skeever!"

Player 1: "You suck!"

Player 2: "Your mom works at McDonalds!"

Player 1: "You Aldmeri Scum!

Player 2: "Lousy Ebonpact horker!"

Player 1: "You look like a pelican!"

Player 2: "WHAT!? THAT IS TOO MUCH! HOW DARE YOU!"

Sheezabeast

What a knob, I’m so sorry!

Have this gif I found to make it a little better

JinMori

ApostateHobo wrote: »

Normally fake tanks don't really bother me because they're generally pretty good dps and you can plow throught stuff quickly, but this guy was one salty extremely squishy potato. 12k hp and low cp in light armor. We got city of ash 1, so this wasn't like it was a difficult dungeon or anything. I was the healer, and I just could not keep this guy alive. Everyone else was basically full hp the whole time, but this dude just got farted on and somehow combusted. So naturally at the end of the dungeon he tells me I need to learn to heal and leaves. I made the mistake of telling him he needs to use food and not queue as a tank. Oh boy.

Dude goes off on how all of us were so terrible and slow, how he can't be expected to tank when he isn't one (literally his words), and that he carried us through that dungeon (funny because he was dead half the time). Calls me a reta(3 more letters here) about 20 times. Repeatedly tells me I have no idea what I'm doing. Responded to him asking why, if it was me that sucked, did no one else die or have any issues. Also explained to him that the other two people needed to do the quest, so I wasn't going to run ahead and abandon them as they were low level clearly new players and said he needed to stop being such a jerk.

Dude just responded with more insults even called me a pelican and a pleb XD Honestly the whole thing was funny as hell because he was just so stereotypically one of those players that thinks they're amazing and everyone else is garbage. The cherry on top though was him calling himself a dps god and boasting about his 20k dps. Which I'm pretty sure is double what he actually does judging by how slow he killed a single scamp lol

Why didn't you just vote to kick?

I wouldn't even be bothered by this guy smugness, he or she is the kind of people i dislike the most in dungeons, when they think they are good, but they are actually trash.

I mean, if he was this bad, kicking him wouldn't have impacted the group performance negatively.

JinMori

idk wrote: »

1. Never rez a guy like that. Never. Waste of soul gems even though we have tons of them.
2. Why did you not kick him early on. Clearly you did not need a tank or warm body.
3. Never reply to an idiot like them. They are an idiot so what good do you think it will be. If you do reply, be snarky and then ignore so they can fume.

I agree with you for once.

Skullstachio

Looks as though the guy Pelican’t tank right.

Neoealth

Sounds like a total clown. Glad you had fun with the guy. Did you eat any popcorn while he went on his rant?