Khajiit jokes?

USTTech

How come there aren't many khajiit in Auridon?
Because they're Elsweyr?

I know, it's bad. Any good khajiit jokes or memes, because who can't like khajiit/cat memes and jokes?

Dracan_Fontom

Damn it. Idk how to upload pics. XD

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://pics.me.me/oks-up-on-us-ill-smell-you-had-one-job-4694034.png&imgrefurl=https://me.me/i/oks-up-on-us-ill-smell-you-had-one-job-2837542&h=610&w=500&tbnid=lPG6k9Fr5EMaSM&tbnh=248&tbnw=203&usg=AI4_-kTR_UDyOM6nDAiEyXJlqglOP4uJGA&vet=1&docid=iokMgVpZVLGJ4M

LuckyLuke

The ‘let’s party elsewhere’ poll is pretty good! More skooma!

aaisoaho

What do you call a khajiit that was caught by the guards? A purrpatrator.

Why all khajiits are so fast? Because slowest ones are in jail.

ArchMikem

What did the stupid Elf say when he tried to enslave a Khajiit with claws.

"Me-OW!"

And then the Elf died.

HappyLittleTree

I raise the spine of humor for you, in our home tongue we have this one:

Thuu chakkuth lod Hajhiit c’oo? Hajhiit gortsuquth gorihuth thuu gooluthduj thdeitoluu!

Which translates to:
Why do Khajiit lick their butts? To get the taste of their cooking out of their mouths!

Hahaha

AlienSlof

Why do Khajiit lick their bottoms?

To get the taste of Khajiiti cooking from their tongues. :P

Oh, didn't see the one before!

Zacuel

*laughing obnoxiously while pounding the break room table at work looking like a crazy person*

Alowishus

What has claws and likes skooma?

This one.

Oberstein

Khajiit? you mean orphan cats that elfs tamed and become their lab rat.

Robo_Hobo

(Saw this one on the forum long ago)

Three generals - one from each alliance - were bragging about how brave their men were to each other. Eventually, as such things do, the brag-fest got around to "prove it."

So, the Breton general calls over an Orc. "See that 10 foot ladder there? I order you to jump off of it into a tub of water!"

"Yes, sir!" saluted the Orc, and he did it.

The Nord general snorts. "You tink dat's sometink? Vatch this." He calls over an Argonian, and orders him to jump off a 50 foot ladder into a barrel of water. The Argonian obeyed the command immediately, without hesitation.

The Altmer scoffs at the beaming Nord. Disdainfully, he looks around (down his nose, of course), and spies a Khajit. "Soldier! I order you to jump off a 100 foot ladder into a glass of water!"

The Khajit salutes, and says, "With all due respect, sir, this one thinks you should go f--- yourself", and walks away.

The Altmer points proudly. "Now THAT'S courage!"

AlienSlof

Yep, that's a good one!

idk

It is in very poor taste to make jokes at the expense of Kahjiit's. They are beast people, not savage animals and should be treated with respect.

@SantieClaws herself is a very respected member of this community and is a shining light of the Kahjiit community to all in Tamriel, nay, all of Nirn.

Shadow-Fighter

Dracan_Fontom wrote: »

Damn it. Idk how to upload pics. XD

https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https://pics.me.me/oks-up-on-us-ill-smell-you-had-one-job-4694034.png&imgrefurl=https://me.me/i/oks-up-on-us-ill-smell-you-had-one-job-2837542&h=610&w=500&tbnid=lPG6k9Fr5EMaSM&tbnh=248&tbnw=203&usg=AI4_-kTR_UDyOM6nDAiEyXJlqglOP4uJGA&vet=1&docid=iokMgVpZVLGJ4M

Let me fix that for you

https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/comment/5707570#Comment_5707570

Shadow-Fighter wrote: »

emilyhyoyeon

everyone's stealing the khajiit cooking butt joke from Dar Jee

KhajiitFelix

Khajiit has bears if you have coin.

Shadow-Fighter

"These damned Khajiit merchants speak in nothing but riddles, it's driving me mad"

"What do you mean?"

"I asked him where he is from and he just keeps saying Elsewhere, I told him I know, but where?"

Shadow-Fighter

Latios

I was going to post a joke, but a Khajiit stole my post.

goldenarcher1

"this one stole Sherlock Holme's skooma pipe"

xenowarrior92eb17_ESO

A horny Bandit once pushed J'zargo into one of the steam pools of Eastmarch.
I guess he really wanted to see a hot wet ***.

A Giant was out walking his Mammoth when he squashed Kharjo.
The Giant looked at his foot and said, "Eww, I stepped in Khajiit!"

Two Khajiits and an Argonian were walking down a beach. The Argonian tripped over a bottle, and out popped Sheogorath.
“You have found me in a particularly good mood this day; And so I will grant you each one wish,” proclaimed Sheogorath.
The first Khajiit thought for one moment, and then said, “Oh great Skooma Cat, I wish for a mountain of moon sugar.”
“Granted,” said Sheogorath, and the Khajiit had as much moon sugar as he could ever eat.
The second Khajiit looked at the first Khajiit’s mountain of moon sugar and exclaimed, “Oh great Skooma Cat, please bless me with a giant lake filled with skooma.”
“Granted,” said Sheogorath, and the second Khajiit had as much skooma as he could drink.
“And what do you wish for?” Sheogorath asked the Argonian.
“I wish the skooma lake and moon sugar mountain were both poisoned.”

I put spoiler on this one cuz I swear to god maybe im crazy but I think summerset isles look "different"

this is why I have no friends.











reviewing all these makes me feel bad skyrim wasn't this lively

Perwulf

The recent teaser was a joke. Khajiit should be stealing the artifacts not trying to save the day.

AlienatedGoat

Shadow-Fighter

Latios wrote: »

I was going to post a joke, but a Khajiit stole my post.

Good joke too