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The Cyrodiil Truce
HeroOfNone
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In an effort to stop the war in Cyrodiil that has been raging on since the game start, I will attempt a deal to appease all sides.
1. Khajiit will get special visitation rights to white gold tower, aka super mega deluxe scratching post.
2. DC will be shipped a majority of Cyrodiil's potato export to go with the salt covered fields by their gates.
3. Skyrim is for the Nords, because no one wants that place anyway.
4. Architects will stop building doorways short enough that altmer keep catching their nose on the arch.
5. "Blood for the Pact" will be changed to "Ale for the Pact", no much is expected to change
6. Insults & racism will be recognized as formal Dunmer greetings
7. We will stop arguing which bad traits Bretons inherited from which elves & simply say they were all bad
8. Cannibalism is still illegal even for bosmer, but it is agreed no charges will be followed if we can't find a body
9. Orc polygamy will only be recognized if the main husband/wife can 1vX their spouses.
10. Others factions will immediately stop using the name "queen fussy britches" in reference to Queen Ayrenn, imply she'd ever wear something so audacious as britches.
11. "Moist" & "Erect" will no longer be considered lewd in any conversation where an argonian is involved
12. Redgaurd's homelands will no longer be referred to as "the litterbox" by khajiit, suggesting some dishonerable activities
13. Everyone will recognize all the accomplishments the Tharn family has done for the Imperials, but they are still all asses.
14. A giant spider in shorts will be crowned emperor, as ordained in the elder scrolls (and since Bethesda has a thing for them in TES games)
Feel free to list your own consessions and demands for peace below.
Edited by HeroOfNone on July 19, 2017 4:07PM 1. Khajiit will get special visitation rights to white gold tower, aka super mega deluxe scratching post.
2. DC will be shipped a majority of Cyrodiil's potato export to go with the salt covered fields by their gates.
3. Skyrim is for the Nords, because no one wants that place anyway.
4. Architects will stop building doorways short enough that altmer keep catching their nose on the arch.
5. "Blood for the Pact" will be changed to "Ale for the Pact", no much is expected to change
6. Insults & racism will be recognized as formal Dunmer greetings
7. We will stop arguing which bad traits Bretons inherited from which elves & simply say they were all bad
8. Cannibalism is still illegal even for bosmer, but it is agreed no charges will be followed if we can't find a body
9. Orc polygamy will only be recognized if the main husband/wife can 1vX their spouses.
10. Others factions will immediately stop using the name "queen fussy britches" in reference to Queen Ayrenn, imply she'd ever wear something so audacious as britches.
11. "Moist" & "Erect" will no longer be considered lewd in any conversation where an argonian is involved
12. Redgaurd's homelands will no longer be referred to as "the litterbox" by khajiit, suggesting some dishonerable activities
13. Everyone will recognize all the accomplishments the Tharn family has done for the Imperials, but they are still all asses.
14. A giant spider in shorts will be crowned emperor, as ordained in the elder scrolls (and since Bethesda has a thing for them in TES games)
Feel free to list your own consessions and demands for peace below.
3
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Cadbury✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭All factions must wear a Bather's Towel at all times"If a person is truly desirous of something, perhaps being set on fire does not seem so bad."1 -
Rohamad_Ali✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭I take issue with 12 . Dune rippers make it the self cleaning Redguard litter box . You can't find that convenance anywhere else .4 -
Asardes✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭14.1. Giant spider spikes the members of the Elder Council if they even move a muscle during monthly meetings.Beta tester since February 2014, played ESO-TU October 2015 - August 2022, currently on an extended break
vMA (The Flawless Conqueror) | vVH (Spirit Slayer & of the Undying Song) | vDSA | vAA HM | vHRC HM | vSO HM | vMoL | vAS+1 | Emperor
PC-EU CP 3000+
41,000+ Achievement Points before High IsleMember of:
Pact Veteran Trade: Exemplary
Traders of the Covenant: God of Sales
Tamriels Emporium: God of Sales
Valinor Overflow: Trader
The Traveling Merchant: Silver
Characters:
Asardes | 50 Nord Dragonknight | EP AR 50 | Master Crafter: all traits & recipes, all styles released before High Isle
Alxaril Nelcarion | 50 High Elf Sorcerer | AD AR 20 |
Dro'Bear Three-paws | 50 Khajiit Nightblade | AD AR 20 |
Veronique Nicole | 50 Breton Templar | DC AR 20 |
Sabina Flavia Cosades | 50 Imperial Warden | EP AR 20 |
Ervesa Neloren | 50 Dark Elf Dragonknight | EP AR 20 |
Fendar Khodwin | 50 Redguard Sorcerer | DC AR 20 |
Surilanwe of Lillandril | 50 High Elf Nightblade | AD AR 20 |
Joleen the Swift | 50 Redguard Templar | DC AR 20 |
Draynor Telvanni | 50 Dark Elf Warden | EP AR 20 |
Claudius Tharn | 50 Necromancer | DC AR 20 |
Nazura-la the Bonedancer | 50 Necromancer | AD AR 20 |
Tharkul gro-Shug | 50 Orc Dragonknight | DC AR 4 |
Ushruka gra-Lhurgash | 50 Orc Sorcerer | AD AR 4 |
Cienwen ferch Llywelyn | 50 Breton Nightblade | DC AR 4 |
Plays-with-Sunray | 50 Argonian Templar | EP AR 4 |
Milariel | 50 Wood Elf Warden | AD AR 4 |
Scheei-Jul | 50 Necromancer | EP AR 4 |
PC-NA CP 1800+
30,000+ Achievement Points before High IsleMember of:
Savage Blade: Majestic Machette
Characters:
Asardes the Exile | 50 Nord Dragonknight | EP AR 30 |0 -
Shardan4968✭✭✭✭✭
✭I'd prefer to wait for Tiber Septim. We are living in the Era of Chaos, there's no such thing as peace.PC/EU0
