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A little Parody on how vMA last boss fight's brainstorm went.
Insandros
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Since i get a bit of frustration on that fight i get there to clear it. I don't hate it beacause i can't clear it, i did it 7 times since my first sucess a few days ago, but each time i get there, it's always a surprise, i can clear it in 1-2 attempt or can take me an hour which i don't even count the attempts...
So i decided to make a small parody of how the fight's design brainstorm came up with.. No offence ZoS, but since you're mocking us, i am now
The conversation is over 2 desigers having a bowl of Froot Loops together at night and tries to came up with a fight idea for the last boss of this most frustrating fight to learn and master.... so each lines/quotes is one talking to the other...
It might not be funy for you guys, but it let me get some steam out and that's what some of this stuff came up on my mind on each time i died because of some of these stuff all happened on a perfect time synchrobnised events i can't avoid in time. It's a bit long, but anyways, it made me feel better writing it.
« Hey man.. we need to come upon a fight design for Malestrom Arena last boss fight.. »
« Sure, what you had in mind? Planning it first for, normal, Vet or both? »
« Vet man, you know, way easy at normal and tough as *** on Vet, to *** them with the huge gap of differences between both difficulty hahahaha »
« Hahaha, high five man, high five »
« First we need an annoying boss that can one shot them, or close to it with a range skill »
« Agree, and what about a knock back when they can't avoid it? »
« Hell yeah, and you know what, let's make also another range attack, a channeling one, that if not intterupted it grows stronger!!!!»
« Yeah, good idea, but if they can intterupt, it'll make stuff way easy »
« Humm.. you're right on that one.. let me think..... oh yeah, i got it, let's make the boss have an aoe explosion around him growing when close to him, so if they come to interrupt in time, well, BOOOOOOM haha »
« Yeah, dead on for this one mate! Now we need to think about mobs spawn, you know, we need to get them busy all over the place, not just focus the boss lol »
« Hummm what about... a healer, let's make healer spawn!!! »
« Lol that'll be annoying as ***, a healer spawn as they need to avoid the skull one shoting or close to, and focus boss as well to interrupt is channeling »
« Yeah, and what about, we make the boss TP to the healer, or close to him, so they can attack both, but need to pay attention if the healer heals, so they intterupt him, but can't focus him alone, since they'll have to watch the range damaging attack from the boss and it's aoe explosion when they get close to both of them !»
« Humm yeah, but still, a bit too easy, too easy.. we need another spawn shortly after the healer and make the boss TP soon... we can make a Daedroth spawn, it'll be annoying when he breath fire, specialy since most of them turn vampire loool »
« Lol, indeed, but it's ll be easy, if they roll dodge, when he makes is frontal cone of fire, they avoid it, and able to avoid the boss range attack as well if paying attention to both mobs... but we can make it a bit easy for them, let's make the daedroth spawn a bit close to where the boss TPed before »
« yeah, but it'll be too easy man, stacking them together, they can aoe the *** out of them »
« ok, then, what's your solution about it? »
« We can, copy/paste the same Daedroth we put on the entire realm and dungeons, but, exept for MA, we can make him having no red frontal cone to warm them when he'S about to do it »
« Sounds like a plan man lol.... but, let's bring the joke a bit further, let's also make him run faster then most Daedroth encoutered and they follow them while breathing fire, so he doesn't stop as other daedroth spiting fire and locks in place, if they turn,. he'll follow them »
« but.... it'll get easy of they turn in circle around them, they'll be able to avoid the breath... »
« True, true... what if.... on the entire fight... there is, floating ghosts, which can't be attack or killled, they move slowly, but we fill the place with those annoying ***,, and lol yeah, when they go through, the players are slowed, that will be an annoying *** for the players to get away from the deaedroth's fire or even fast enough to interupt the boss channeling attack if they are melee.... you know what, let's put these ghost in for the entire Stage 9 and all rounds lol and let's as well add a 5th round to that final stage »
« lol sure man, and why not, they deal as well a huge amount of dmg, like, maybe, half they life.... »
« Oh, masterpiece idea man lol, so if they run in circle around the daedroth to avoid the fire, which will be stacked almost on the boss and his aoe explosion or his range hard hitting attack they will be looking for, roll doding out of it and the risk of getting burned by the daedroth, if they managed to aswell take care of the healer healing, well they'll have a chance to roll dodge or come across those annoying ghosts haha, damn i love this Video Game designer job for annoying stuff for the players, so they through their mouses at the wall or bash their keyboard »
« Lol yeah, and that'll help our firends at Naga, Corsair or Logitech to grow their sales by making the players going there buying new mouses or keyboard lool »
« hehe, ok now we need a second phase.. what if at 70% the boss TPed on a second floor... we need to find a way so the player TP there »
« humm what about portals, they have to kill a mob on pedestrals so they can activate a portal to TP up there, the mob dead on it makes it possible to activate it »
« Sure, and having a few depestrals around the arena in circle, but only one is lighted up and that is the one the player must kill the mob onto, that'll be annoying as *** for them, since they have to deal with all the other stuff around, so if they kill it too far, they are skrewed, they have to wait for another of that mob to spawn while other mobs spawns as well lol, and let's make the active pedestral to activate all over the map so they can'T wait the mob on the same spot... »
« sure man... but let's make sure they keep moving.... let'S make the surrounding of the arena kinda it look like an island, with lava all around, and if they get too close on the edges, there is lava spits, and which can stun them, and skrew them if mobs attacks them, or when the boss is down there, if they are stuned they can get the fire dmg from that spits, and while knocked back, they can get one shoted by the boss after »
« lol yeah, not to mention if there is a daedroth up as well, lol, i just would be pissing my pants seing that poor guy, getting stuned down by the aoe fire from the lava while the boss shot his range attack at him lol let'S go daedroth let's go, Mortal Kombat moment of the day, go finish him with you'Re fire breath pssssouuuuuuuuu loooool »
« haha lol dude, have i ever told you, you always come up with good idea when you'Re high on crack, lol we did great, see you tomorow man »
« Oh my god man, you're so stoned, lool we still have to plan the second phase of the fight!!! »
« oh man yeah, lol that's good stuff we got there, we shouldn't be doing crack and eating Froot Loops at the same times, brings up a bad cocktails up my brain lol »
« lol yeahhh Power Of The Tucan!!!! »
« I'm getting tired man, let's make this quick... what if when they are up therem, they need to break crystals, then being brought back down »
« Cool idea, but a bit easy, let's make a few stuff so they don't have a chance of success if they skrew up... Let's make fire dmg from that lava again or meteor, with again, stun when hited »
« Sure, and, we still make the boss throw ranged attack skulls on them? »
« hell yeah, so if they get knocked down by the meteor aoe dmg, the boss can finish them while unable to move away from that spot and with the fire dmg they get, the skulll attack might fihish them off lol »
« fun, fun) Still easy... let's make the boss do once in a while a one shoting attack »
« Nah, calm down man, we got enough one shoting stuff around... let's jsut make the attack push them back down there, so they'll have to go through the pain and process back down there to get up, making a new portal pop, with normal spawn as well, daderoth, healer etc... »
« love it!!! »
« So, for the up phase... wanna add some challenge that if it's too long the difficulty gets harder, so they need to make it fast and not regenerating ressources up there? »
« Lolll yeah, but man, stone as you can get, we need to get an idea first of how they can avoid that pusing blow »
« Oh yeah, lol sorry, had another spoon of Froot Loops and that came out of my mind lol »
« Lol you crazy Tucan addicted, lol .. humm maybe a wall can spawn, moving around the place, and they need to get behind it as it moves to block the attack? »
« humm yeah, but a bit easy.. if we keep the wall there at all time, they can as well avoid all single attacks the through once in a while..... »
« True... let's just make it appear ocne in a while for that single attack and they it explodes »
« Nice one mate... and, lol let's just makes it a bit more of a pain, each crystall that is destroyed, it makes the wall go faster and faster... »
« You're mean man, that'll be annoying as *** for the magika build, imagine them having to deal with a few amount of stamina pool to deal with the bosses attack, they have to roll dodge or block it, then, roll doding some meteor and if they are far from where the wall spawn, they'll have to sprint to reach it before the boss does his pusing attack and waste all their stamina left makes it a bit harder to rolld dodge after his attacks »
« Hhhaha hellll yeahhhh, so when crystals are destroyed they get pushed back down for third phase? »
« yeah, but i think, in my own opinion, wee need to add something more stupid up there to have them a bit less chances to succeed »
« lol you freaking crazy designer... you had something in mind don't you?? »
« You sure know me well my friend.... what about... an annoying stupid DoT, that grows the longer they are up there, the more it dmg them.. so they'll have to find a way to as well,. heals themselves, so each attacks becomes a pain if they get hit.... »
« Ohhhhh nassssty, me love it... but we gotta be fair.. if they are knocked back down there by his skull attack or if they missed by a 1/8 of inch the wall, we can be fair enough to reset the DoT, so they can have a low percentage to make it up there again with all the mobs waiting them down there.... »
« yeah you'Re right, i shouldn't make it too hard, so, when they succeed with crystals destroyed and pushed down there for phase 3.. an explosion occcurs and mobs there already waiting, are destroyed »
« lool ok man, but, don't get too sweet on here man, be nice, but not that much...... what if... all adds dies, EXEPT the healers! »
« ohhh man, you'Re getting as nasty as i am looool »
« We can also make the yellow ghost appears on that phase, so they get a chance »
« Agreed... but again, not too easy... what if... if it's the boss grabs 3 yellow ghosts as well, does something like the players....what if he can actualy make the explosion himself!! »
« Sure... but let's make it a bit tough on them, when the player gets 3 ghosts he only stun the mobs and boss for a small amount of time, so he'll have to do fast, but, IF the boss get 3 of them... he simply do an explosion on his side, but doesn't stun, he simply one shot them, or makes a massive DoT like upstair, but more painful so they end up anyways to die and start all over again »
« Loool oh yeah, i love it... but if they get ghosts it'll make it easy for them and at this point able to clear it »
« Dude i'm getting really tired now and just wanna get things over with about that place design.... let's just make a last joke on them.... when the boss TPs around, let's make him TP close to where the yellow ghosts spawn.. so when they are learning the place, and still nervous, they forgot about it or what ever what they are dealing around with mobs, roll dodging boss or interrupting it, the boss can grab those ghosta way faster then them, and if they miss it, it gives a chance of the daedroth to spawn and *** their attempt loool starting all over again ... »
« Alright man, idea sold... i'll see you tomorow and we'll work on this... you wanna try it out once we finish up the programming of the place? »
« haha hell no, you totaly know how painful and frustrating this *** will be since we must synchronise all *** too happpen all together at a fraction of seconds to each others not to give them much chances, no way i try this stupid *** out »
« Yep, and let's make the quest reward for completing it, totaly stupid, a small amount of gold, so they can't pay their repair bills and competing the arena reward not worth it, with bad RNG weapon drops as well... let's keep the stupid traits on useless kinda weapon.... »
« lol yeah, let's make the reward a 644 golds like most any easy pledge reward from the Undaunteds...and of course, we keep stupid traits on weapons, i can't imagine how frustrating someone can be getting an Energised trait on his fire staff he wanted so bad Sharpenned to deal dmg with this staff lol »
« You're awesome lol, i love the idea.... Alright dude, see you tomorow..... Dude? Dude? You there? Please Answer Me!!! .... Oh god damn, it happened again... i'm so stoned, i've talked to myself the entire time as no one is actualy with me..... i really need to get some sleep and a good glass of milk and stop smoking crack ...»
Note to myself.... remember to aswell add a Lich spike attack coming up the floor just for the heck of it when they stand too long on the same spot......
So i decided to make a small parody of how the fight's design brainstorm came up with.. No offence ZoS, but since you're mocking us, i am now
The conversation is over 2 desigers having a bowl of Froot Loops together at night and tries to came up with a fight idea for the last boss of this most frustrating fight to learn and master.... so each lines/quotes is one talking to the other... It might not be funy for you guys, but it let me get some steam out and that's what some of this stuff came up on my mind on each time i died because of some of these stuff all happened on a perfect time synchrobnised events i can't avoid in time.
It's a bit long, but anyways, it made me feel better writing it. « Hey man.. we need to come upon a fight design for Malestrom Arena last boss fight.. »
« Sure, what you had in mind? Planning it first for, normal, Vet or both? »
« Vet man, you know, way easy at normal and tough as *** on Vet, to *** them with the huge gap of differences between both difficulty hahahaha »
« Hahaha, high five man, high five »
« First we need an annoying boss that can one shot them, or close to it with a range skill »
« Agree, and what about a knock back when they can't avoid it? »
« Hell yeah, and you know what, let's make also another range attack, a channeling one, that if not intterupted it grows stronger!!!!»
« Yeah, good idea, but if they can intterupt, it'll make stuff way easy »
« Humm.. you're right on that one.. let me think..... oh yeah, i got it, let's make the boss have an aoe explosion around him growing when close to him, so if they come to interrupt in time, well, BOOOOOOM haha »
« Yeah, dead on for this one mate! Now we need to think about mobs spawn, you know, we need to get them busy all over the place, not just focus the boss lol »
« Hummm what about... a healer, let's make healer spawn!!! »
« Lol that'll be annoying as ***, a healer spawn as they need to avoid the skull one shoting or close to, and focus boss as well to interrupt is channeling »
« Yeah, and what about, we make the boss TP to the healer, or close to him, so they can attack both, but need to pay attention if the healer heals, so they intterupt him, but can't focus him alone, since they'll have to watch the range damaging attack from the boss and it's aoe explosion when they get close to both of them !»
« Humm yeah, but still, a bit too easy, too easy.. we need another spawn shortly after the healer and make the boss TP soon... we can make a Daedroth spawn, it'll be annoying when he breath fire, specialy since most of them turn vampire loool »
« Lol, indeed, but it's ll be easy, if they roll dodge, when he makes is frontal cone of fire, they avoid it, and able to avoid the boss range attack as well if paying attention to both mobs... but we can make it a bit easy for them, let's make the daedroth spawn a bit close to where the boss TPed before »
« yeah, but it'll be too easy man, stacking them together, they can aoe the *** out of them »
« ok, then, what's your solution about it? »
« We can, copy/paste the same Daedroth we put on the entire realm and dungeons, but, exept for MA, we can make him having no red frontal cone to warm them when he'S about to do it »
« Sounds like a plan man lol.... but, let's bring the joke a bit further, let's also make him run faster then most Daedroth encoutered and they follow them while breathing fire, so he doesn't stop as other daedroth spiting fire and locks in place, if they turn,. he'll follow them »
« but.... it'll get easy of they turn in circle around them, they'll be able to avoid the breath... »
« True, true... what if.... on the entire fight... there is, floating ghosts, which can't be attack or killled, they move slowly, but we fill the place with those annoying ***,, and lol yeah, when they go through, the players are slowed, that will be an annoying *** for the players to get away from the deaedroth's fire or even fast enough to interupt the boss channeling attack if they are melee.... you know what, let's put these ghost in for the entire Stage 9 and all rounds lol and let's as well add a 5th round to that final stage »
« lol sure man, and why not, they deal as well a huge amount of dmg, like, maybe, half they life.... »
« Oh, masterpiece idea man lol, so if they run in circle around the daedroth to avoid the fire, which will be stacked almost on the boss and his aoe explosion or his range hard hitting attack they will be looking for, roll doding out of it and the risk of getting burned by the daedroth, if they managed to aswell take care of the healer healing, well they'll have a chance to roll dodge or come across those annoying ghosts haha, damn i love this Video Game designer job for annoying stuff for the players, so they through their mouses at the wall or bash their keyboard »
« Lol yeah, and that'll help our firends at Naga, Corsair or Logitech to grow their sales by making the players going there buying new mouses or keyboard lool »
« hehe, ok now we need a second phase.. what if at 70% the boss TPed on a second floor... we need to find a way so the player TP there »
« humm what about portals, they have to kill a mob on pedestrals so they can activate a portal to TP up there, the mob dead on it makes it possible to activate it »
« Sure, and having a few depestrals around the arena in circle, but only one is lighted up and that is the one the player must kill the mob onto, that'll be annoying as *** for them, since they have to deal with all the other stuff around, so if they kill it too far, they are skrewed, they have to wait for another of that mob to spawn while other mobs spawns as well lol, and let's make the active pedestral to activate all over the map so they can'T wait the mob on the same spot... »
« sure man... but let's make sure they keep moving.... let'S make the surrounding of the arena kinda it look like an island, with lava all around, and if they get too close on the edges, there is lava spits, and which can stun them, and skrew them if mobs attacks them, or when the boss is down there, if they are stuned they can get the fire dmg from that spits, and while knocked back, they can get one shoted by the boss after »
« lol yeah, not to mention if there is a daedroth up as well, lol, i just would be pissing my pants seing that poor guy, getting stuned down by the aoe fire from the lava while the boss shot his range attack at him lol let'S go daedroth let's go, Mortal Kombat moment of the day, go finish him with you'Re fire breath pssssouuuuuuuuu loooool »
« haha lol dude, have i ever told you, you always come up with good idea when you'Re high on crack, lol we did great, see you tomorow man »
« Oh my god man, you're so stoned, lool we still have to plan the second phase of the fight!!! »
« oh man yeah, lol that's good stuff we got there, we shouldn't be doing crack and eating Froot Loops at the same times, brings up a bad cocktails up my brain lol »
« lol yeahhh Power Of The Tucan!!!! »
« I'm getting tired man, let's make this quick... what if when they are up therem, they need to break crystals, then being brought back down »
« Cool idea, but a bit easy, let's make a few stuff so they don't have a chance of success if they skrew up... Let's make fire dmg from that lava again or meteor, with again, stun when hited »
« Sure, and, we still make the boss throw ranged attack skulls on them? »
« hell yeah, so if they get knocked down by the meteor aoe dmg, the boss can finish them while unable to move away from that spot and with the fire dmg they get, the skulll attack might fihish them off lol »
« fun, fun
) Still easy... let's make the boss do once in a while a one shoting attack »« Nah, calm down man, we got enough one shoting stuff around... let's jsut make the attack push them back down there, so they'll have to go through the pain and process back down there to get up, making a new portal pop, with normal spawn as well, daderoth, healer etc... »
« love it!!! »
« So, for the up phase... wanna add some challenge that if it's too long the difficulty gets harder, so they need to make it fast and not regenerating ressources up there? »
« Lolll yeah, but man, stone as you can get, we need to get an idea first of how they can avoid that pusing blow »
« Oh yeah, lol sorry, had another spoon of Froot Loops and that came out of my mind lol »
« Lol you crazy Tucan addicted, lol .. humm maybe a wall can spawn, moving around the place, and they need to get behind it as it moves to block the attack? »
« humm yeah, but a bit easy.. if we keep the wall there at all time, they can as well avoid all single attacks the through once in a while..... »
« True... let's just make it appear ocne in a while for that single attack and they it explodes »
« Nice one mate... and, lol let's just makes it a bit more of a pain, each crystall that is destroyed, it makes the wall go faster and faster... »
« You're mean man, that'll be annoying as *** for the magika build, imagine them having to deal with a few amount of stamina pool to deal with the bosses attack, they have to roll dodge or block it, then, roll doding some meteor and if they are far from where the wall spawn, they'll have to sprint to reach it before the boss does his pusing attack and waste all their stamina left makes it a bit harder to rolld dodge after his attacks »
« Hhhaha hellll yeahhhh, so when crystals are destroyed they get pushed back down for third phase? »
« yeah, but i think, in my own opinion, wee need to add something more stupid up there to have them a bit less chances to succeed »
« lol you freaking crazy designer... you had something in mind don't you?? »
« You sure know me well my friend.... what about... an annoying stupid DoT, that grows the longer they are up there, the more it dmg them.. so they'll have to find a way to as well,. heals themselves, so each attacks becomes a pain if they get hit.... »
« Ohhhhh nassssty, me love it... but we gotta be fair.. if they are knocked back down there by his skull attack or if they missed by a 1/8 of inch the wall, we can be fair enough to reset the DoT, so they can have a low percentage to make it up there again with all the mobs waiting them down there.... »
« yeah you'Re right, i shouldn't make it too hard, so, when they succeed with crystals destroyed and pushed down there for phase 3.. an explosion occcurs and mobs there already waiting, are destroyed »
« lool ok man, but, don't get too sweet on here man, be nice, but not that much...... what if... all adds dies, EXEPT the healers! »
« ohhh man, you'Re getting as nasty as i am looool »
« We can also make the yellow ghost appears on that phase, so they get a chance »
« Agreed... but again, not too easy... what if... if it's the boss grabs 3 yellow ghosts as well, does something like the players....what if he can actualy make the explosion himself!! »
« Sure... but let's make it a bit tough on them, when the player gets 3 ghosts he only stun the mobs and boss for a small amount of time, so he'll have to do fast, but, IF the boss get 3 of them... he simply do an explosion on his side, but doesn't stun, he simply one shot them, or makes a massive DoT like upstair, but more painful so they end up anyways to die and start all over again »
« Loool oh yeah, i love it... but if they get ghosts it'll make it easy for them and at this point able to clear it »
« Dude i'm getting really tired now and just wanna get things over with about that place design.... let's just make a last joke on them.... when the boss TPs around, let's make him TP close to where the yellow ghosts spawn.. so when they are learning the place, and still nervous, they forgot about it or what ever what they are dealing around with mobs, roll dodging boss or interrupting it, the boss can grab those ghosta way faster then them, and if they miss it, it gives a chance of the daedroth to spawn and *** their attempt loool starting all over again ... »
« Alright man, idea sold... i'll see you tomorow and we'll work on this... you wanna try it out once we finish up the programming of the place? »
« haha hell no, you totaly know how painful and frustrating this *** will be since we must synchronise all *** too happpen all together at a fraction of seconds to each others not to give them much chances, no way i try this stupid *** out »
« Yep, and let's make the quest reward for completing it, totaly stupid, a small amount of gold, so they can't pay their repair bills and competing the arena reward not worth it, with bad RNG weapon drops as well... let's keep the stupid traits on useless kinda weapon.... »
« lol yeah, let's make the reward a 644 golds like most any easy pledge reward from the Undaunteds...and of course, we keep stupid traits on weapons, i can't imagine how frustrating someone can be getting an Energised trait on his fire staff he wanted so bad Sharpenned to deal dmg with this staff lol »
« You're awesome lol, i love the idea.... Alright dude, see you tomorow..... Dude? Dude? You there? Please Answer Me!!! .... Oh god damn, it happened again... i'm so stoned, i've talked to myself the entire time as no one is actualy with me..... i really need to get some sleep and a good glass of milk and stop smoking crack ...»
Note to myself.... remember to aswell add a Lich spike attack coming up the floor just for the heck of it when they stand too long on the same spot......
3
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DRXHarbinger✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭*** did I just read? OP are you the guy taking the crack?PC Master Race
1001CP
8 Flawless Toons, all Classes.
Master Angler
Dro-M'artha Destroyer (at last)
Tamriel Hero
Grand Overlord
Every Skyshard
Down With BOP!1 -
Insandros✭✭✭✭DRXHarbinger wrote: »*** did I just read? OP are you the guy taking the crack?
i am, to be honest i am, if not, why would i still be paying to play and run this place? no one sobber would 0 -
Cadbury✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Well...that certainly was a thing...yup.
"If a person is truly desirous of something, perhaps being set on fire does not seem so bad."0 -
Insandros✭✭✭✭tldr, u must have an active imagination op
Indeed, if i didn't had any, i would had never go as graphic and computer graphic design And i would never had some crazy laughs on advertising campaing brainstorming moments So i was kinda curious on how they could come up with somestuf as funny as this. But again, when you never brainstormed anything, my post won't ring any bells on those moments. Edited by Insandros on July 31, 2017 8:24PM0
