The Elder Scrolls Online

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The Lusty Argonian Maid

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PieMaster1
PieMaster1
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Lifts-Her-Tail
Certainly not, kind sir! I am here but to clean your chambers.
Crantius Colto
Is that all you have come here for, little one? My chambers?
Lifts-Her-Tail
I have no idea what it is you imply, master. I am but a poor Argonian maid.
Crantius Colto
So you are, my dumpling. And a good one at that. Such strong legs and shapely tail.
Lifts-Her-Tail
You embarrass me, sir!
Crantius Colto
Fear not. You are safe here with me.
Lifts-Her-Tail
I must finish my cleaning, sir. The mistress will have my head if I do not!
Crantius Colto
Cleaning, eh? I have something for you. Here, polish my spear.
Lifts-Her-Tail
But it is huge! It could take me all night!
Crantius Colto
Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
  • FloppyTouch
    FloppyTouch
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    Hot
  • Myyth
    Myyth
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    FloppyTouch wrote: »
    Hot

    its even more hot when you imagine Lifts-Her-tail speaking in a Marge Simpson voice
    Edited by Myyth on April 2, 2017 9:44PM
  • DeadlyPhoenix
    DeadlyPhoenix
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    I take offense to this and I demand that this thread be closed immediately!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Not really, I love this book in Elder Scrolls. Just basing my initial response off another thread I was just in ;) too many care bears in ESO these days on a game that's mean for a mature audience....
  • Rohamad_Ali
    Rohamad_Ali
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    It is strange to me some human NPCs get arroused by lizards . They always look hungry even when smiling like those raptors in dinosaur movie . An those scales are never going to be soft no matter how much moisturizer they apply daily . I don't understand even attractiveness to Khajiit . Nothing would be more unpleasant then hair ball hacking mid coitus and cat breath . There's bound to be a mouse toe trapped in one of those jagged teeth . Elves look like creepy wooden dolls with Japanese anime eyes . Can't seem to get those either . Maybe I should of rolled a human . I don't even know how ai let my brain think on this for this long . I think I'll go get a burrito for lunch with extra large Horchata .
  • Lord_Eomer
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    Are Dusty and Lusty argonian twins?
  • DeadlyPhoenix
    DeadlyPhoenix
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    Lord_Dexter wrote: »
    Are Dusty and Lusty argonian twins?

    Same person, different book in the series.
  • Elsonso
    Elsonso
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    DeadlyPhoenix wrote: »
    Lord_Dexter wrote: »
    Are Dusty and Lusty argonian twins?

    Same person, different book in the series.

    Oddly enough, this later book, for it must be later if she is dusty, was not a good seller and seems to have been lost to time.
    ESO Plus: No
    PC NA/EU: @Elsonso
    XBox EU/NA: @ElsonsoJannus
    X/Twitter: ElsonsoJannus
  • LadyLethalla
    LadyLethalla
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    Dusty is after she has her roll in the hay...

    x-TallyCat-x // PC EU DC - For the Covenant! // ESO Platinum trophy - 16th May 2017.
    Melbourne Australia - the land of Potato Internet.WTB ESO OCEANIC SERVER
  • Mephisto939
    Mephisto939
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    Rohamad_Ali wrote: »
    It is strange to me some human NPCs get arroused by lizards . They always look hungry even when smiling like those raptors in dinosaur movie . An those scales are never going to be soft no matter how much moisturizer they apply daily . I don't understand even attractiveness to Khajiit . Nothing would be more unpleasant then hair ball hacking mid coitus and cat breath . There's bound to be a mouse toe trapped in one of those jagged teeth . Elves look like creepy wooden dolls with Japanese anime eyes . Can't seem to get those either . Maybe I should of rolled a human . I don't even know how ai let my brain think on this for this long . I think I'll go get a burrito for lunch with extra large Horchata .

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBY6pF42I-c
    Why did the Dunmer cross the road?
    Apparently to get stuck in an eternal load screen!
  • xeNNNNN
    xeNNNNN
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    ooo kinky.
    Ah, e-communities - the "pinnacle" of the internet............yeah, right.
  • Lynx7386
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    I tend to prefer lusty khajiit maids
    PS4 / NA
    M'asad - Khajiit Nightblade - Healer
    Pakhet - Khajiit Dragonknight - Tank
    Raksha - Khajiit Sorcerer - Stamina DPS
    Bastet - Khajiit Templar - Healer
    Leonin - Khajiit Warden - Tank
  • Tabbycat
    Tabbycat
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    Crassius Curio was so creepy in TES III.

    He's the author of the Lusty Argonian Maid for those that didn't know.
    Founder and Co-GM of The Psijic Order Guild (NA)
    0.016%
  • tim_tesy
    tim_tesy
    Soul Shriven
    Crassius Curio is a Genius Saint!
    Edited by tim_tesy on April 19, 2017 9:26PM
  • Vanthras79
    Vanthras79
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    I think Ol' Lusty needs a cameo in this game. Something subtle, but humorous.
    Norion Germain - Telvanni Wizard, Covenant Battle Mage, Mage's Guild Magister, Resident of Daggerfall Overlook, Lord of Tel Galen, Psijic Monk, Antiquarian, Breton Scholar, and Traveler.

  • ArchMikem
    ArchMikem
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    Did OP just now discover the wonders that is this Lorebook?

    I know, the urge to share such beauty with the masses can be overwhelming.
    CP2,000 Master Explorer - AvA One Star General - Console Peasant - The Clan
    Quest Objective: OMG Go Talk To That Kitty!
  • TheShadowScout
    TheShadowScout
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    CreamedPieYum wrote: »
    The Lusty Argonian Maid
    lusty_argonian_maid_by_cinn_ransome-d5hw412.png
    :p;)

  • Grymmoire
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    Rohamad_Ali wrote: »
    It is strange to me some human NPCs get arroused by lizards . They always look hungry even when smiling like those raptors in dinosaur movie . Snip

    No kidding! Additionally, my female Argonian's laugh is so evil sounding, she even scares me :#
  • Cadbury
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    I waiting for a copy of "The Lusty Betty Netch" to be published.
    "If a person is truly desirous of something, perhaps being set on fire does not seem so bad."
  • geonsocal
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    great, just so happened to check in on the forums while visiting the restroom at work...and came across this - I'm a little weirded out now...
    PVP Campaigns Section: Playstation NA and EU (Gray Host) - This Must be the Place
  • Lynx7386
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    Cadbury wrote: »
    I waiting for a copy of "The Lusty Betty Netch" to be published.

    Into tentacles are you?


    PS4 / NA
    M'asad - Khajiit Nightblade - Healer
    Pakhet - Khajiit Dragonknight - Tank
    Raksha - Khajiit Sorcerer - Stamina DPS
    Bastet - Khajiit Templar - Healer
    Leonin - Khajiit Warden - Tank
  • zaria
    zaria
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    Tabbycat wrote: »
    Crassius Curio was so creepy in TES III.

    He's the author of the Lusty Argonian Maid for those that didn't know.
    As the book is found 700 year before in ESO he is not the author, he simply found an book in an dungeon or somewhere.
    Yes its a bit stupid but they wanted the book in ESO too.
    Grinding just make you go in circles.
    Asking ZoS for nerfs is as stupid as asking for close air support from the death star.
  • Cadbury
    Cadbury
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    Lynx7386 wrote: »
    Cadbury wrote: »
    I waiting for a copy of "The Lusty Betty Netch" to be published.

    Into tentacles are you?


    What Japanese schoolgirl isn't? <3
    "If a person is truly desirous of something, perhaps being set on fire does not seem so bad."
  • Elsonso
    Elsonso
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    geonsocal wrote: »
    great, just so happened to check in on the forums while visiting the restroom at work...and came across this - I'm a little weirded out now...

    I'm a little weirded out by you checking the forums from the toilet and getting weirded out by this. :frowning:
    ESO Plus: No
    PC NA/EU: @Elsonso
    XBox EU/NA: @ElsonsoJannus
    X/Twitter: ElsonsoJannus
  • Cadbury
    Cadbury
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    lordrichter wrote: »
    geonsocal wrote: »
    great, just so happened to check in on the forums while visiting the restroom at work...and came across this - I'm a little weirded out now...

    I'm a little weirded out by you checking the forums from the toilet and getting weirded out by this. :frowning:

    Hey. Don't judge. Some read magazines while on the pot.
    "If a person is truly desirous of something, perhaps being set on fire does not seem so bad."
  • PieMaster1
    PieMaster1
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    Cadbury wrote: »
    lordrichter wrote: »
    geonsocal wrote: »
    great, just so happened to check in on the forums while visiting the restroom at work...and came across this - I'm a little weirded out now...

    I'm a little weirded out by you checking the forums from the toilet and getting weirded out by this. :frowning:

    Hey. Don't judge. Some read magazines while on the pot.

    Usually after work I take my laptop in there, take a dump, and just browse websites such as this. 2 hours later, I come out. :D
  • geonsocal
    geonsocal
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    lordrichter wrote: »
    geonsocal wrote: »
    great, just so happened to check in on the forums while visiting the restroom at work...and came across this - I'm a little weirded out now...

    I'm a little weirded out by you checking the forums from the toilet and getting weirded out by this. :frowning:

    it was the combination of dry, scaly reptilean skin and the thought of what might appear once lifts-her-tail actually lifted her tail; and, the horrifying thought of touching one of those mushy, moist dangling tentacle things...ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
    Edited by geonsocal on April 20, 2017 1:51AM
    PVP Campaigns Section: Playstation NA and EU (Gray Host) - This Must be the Place
  • Alchemical
    Alchemical
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    Rohamad_Ali wrote: »
    It is strange to me some human NPCs get arroused by lizards . They always look hungry even when smiling like those raptors in dinosaur movie . An those scales are never going to be soft no matter how much moisturizer they apply daily.

    Have you ever held a snake though? It's a common misconception that they're rough or slimy. They're actually super soft and smooth (except for bush vipers, but I don't recommend picking those up in any situation). Snake hugs are the best!

    Really lots of lizards are soft and squishy. The super hard armored plating is mostly reserved for dragons. Also if Argonains were naturally armored their racial passives would probably suck less.
  • Akira-DarkShadows
    Akira-DarkShadows
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    TheShadowScout wrote: »
    CreamedPieYum wrote: »
    The Lusty Argonian Maid
    lusty_argonian_maid_by_cinn_ransome-d5hw412.png
    :p;)

    Nice and awesome!
    ~AkiraDarkShadows~
    PSN: AkiraNightWish
    PC: @Akira-NightWish
  • Ch4mpTW
    Ch4mpTW
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    Myyth wrote: »
    FloppyTouch wrote: »
    Hot

    its even more hot when you imagine Lifts-Her-tail speaking in a Marge Simpson voice

    200.gif
  • Sawzallz
    Sawzallz
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    Im reporting you for posting explicit pictures and messages
This discussion has been closed.