Quaid...

milkbox

I was hoping you Quaids could give me some insight.

I've been online for a long time, and I understand that there are a lot of people out there who truly believe "there are no women on the internet", but really, that's just not the case.

All of my characters are female, with feminine names, but *every* single day I get called "bro", "man", "dude" or "guy"- dozens of times. Not one single person has ever called me "lady", "miss" or even "babe".

Does everybody assume that all females in this game are men in drag? Are there are no gender-neutral forms of address?

I brought this up to a friend, and he suggested I start calling everybody "Quaid".

Thanks, Quaid. Np, Quaid. Nice work, Quaid.

I'm pretty sure he got the idea from the weird chest-baby thing in Total Recall, but I've decided to let that slip, because I like the sound of it.

And before you ask, "u mad, bro?"- I'm not really. Just a bit mystified.

I think about it a little more every time somebody says "thanks, bro...", so I thought I'd put it here, to get it out of my system. I won't correct you if you call me "bro"- but a little "miss" would go a long way...

glak

U mad, Quaid?

Doesn't sound right but could get used to it.

Psychobunni

Hahaha I get the "bro" too....I so completely understand and have felt much the same, especially when its someone I've been playing with a while and I know. that they know. I am female

However, I take it with a grain of salt because there are a lot of in drag players and it could be even worse with cheesy come ons and sexual innuendos....right?

lujate

Lady or miss? LOL I'm not sure what genre you've been playing. Babe, hon or something worse would prob be the best you could expect.

Besides, a man is more likely to get upset about being called a woman than the reverse. Assuming you're talking to a man is safer until you learn otherwise.

I_killed_Vivec

Erm... sorry to say it, but maybe he just wasn't that in to you...

MissBizz

I use guy in a weird fashion. "Hey guys" is hey everyone.. Hmm

Holycannoli

Lord_Kreegan

My eight characters cover all classes, all but one race (since there are nine races), and are evenly split male and female. That's just the way I game...

I never assume the gender of another player because I know there are other players like me who actually do play a role when in an RPG. If I chat with someone, I usualy use a gender non-specific reference such as "you"...

But should a lady identify herself as such in chat, I'd certainly address her appropriately because I'm an old fashioned Southerner... although figuring out whether it's "Miss", "Mrs.", or "Ms." these days can be difficult (thank you so very much, Women's Lib). Most likely you'd get a "Ma'am" or maybe a "Ma'am, ya'll..."

In any case, never "Bro"; I'm the wrong generation for that.

So, before you over-generalize and condemn other's behavior, consider that you're doing the same thing right now... not all men behave the same way and different generations adhered to different standards of behavior.

Betahkiin

Lady, do not worry, is a common evil that still exists in time and dates back from the unfortunate epochs where the woman had a minor role in our society.

Moreover, it makes me think you never crossed with another woman in the game since according to you, at all times was treated as a man considering that the names of your characters are female.

Another factor which generates confusion is that there is a very large number of male players who for various reasons make female characters and in some cases even pretend to be women in real life.

Take it easy, try to explain it and do not be swayed by anger about something that will not change from night to morning.

By my Lady.

stewhead2ub17_ESO

I guess I'm conditioned now to first assume a female toon is a guy irl. Though I've also met several girl gamers who play male characters just to avoid any juvenile sexist bs. My wife currently plays another mmo and I just asked her if anyone ever called her bro and she said negative. Though I'm not one who refers to anyone as bro.... *shrugs*

milkbox

Lord_Kreegan wrote: »

So, before you over-generalize and condemn other's behavior, consider that you're doing the same thing right now... not all men behave the same way amd different generations adhered to different standards of behavior.

While I do appreciate your chivalry, I'd like to point out that I'm not condemning in a generalized way (really, not condemning at all...)- I don't believe this is the behavior of "everyone" or even "all men"- I'm just calling out the legions of people that I encounter that call everyone "bro".

Ysne58

Doesn't bother me a bit. There are lots worse things I've been called.

Arunei

I'm preeeeeeeetty sure they're just being used as figures of speech. Just like saying "mankind" doesn't mean only men, it applies to woman and children as well. Also, just b/c your characters are female doesn't mean you are; since things like "man" and "dude" aren't typically used in direct relation to gender/sex, it's a lot less awkward to say those than to automatically assume someone playing a female character is female irl and referring to them as that.

But hey, I'm never one to knock what someone wants to be called. If that's what makes you feel comfortable then go for it! Just keep in mind you're probably gonna confuse a lot of people if you don't explain the reason for using that term lol.

Zhoyzu

honestly, i dont give a $#!t about your gender offline or online. if you make it known to me you are a female id address you as "hey friend" or id just start talking to you (because idk what to replace dude with, the genderless 'hey' can mean many different things depending on how you read it and your mood also different if prior conversation).

In my mind bro is synonymous with 'good friend' and dude has little meaning to me.

I dont think you should be offended as it is easier for most males to assume most other players are males because from my experience more males play games than females.

If you are bothered let them know to stop and most will. give them an alternative to use and make it easier on both parties involved.

Carde

If watching my wife play MMOs is any indicator, you're probably better off if everybody assumes you're a man. Lot less creepers that way.

WraithAzraiel

The hell is a quaid?

Zhoyzu

WraithAzraiel wrote: »

The hell is a quaid?

yes, i feel that needs an explanation.

milkbox

Zhoyzu wrote: »

WraithAzraiel wrote: »

The hell is a quaid?

yes, i feel that needs an explanation.

I suspect this is the "Quaid" he meant. We drink a lot.

But it was really just a random name/word in search of some gender-neutral alternative to "bro" and "dude".

And really, I'm not offended or mad- but imagine if *every day* you got referred to as the opposite gender. It's weird. It made me curious as to why.

I appreciate all the feedback!

*edited to fix the quote bar...

Gidorick

I think it's because most of us don't want to be "that guy" that mistakes a dude in virtu-drag for a girl. It's sort of erring on the side of caution.

I do think we should all refer to in-game characters as their in-game sex. When you speak with Gidorick Malborn in game, he's a different person than the Gidorick here in the form and he is different from Dar-Ja'Taba. I don't have any fem characters but if did, she would have her own personality and characteristics.

That's just how I play, though. Not everyone plays the same.

EDIT: Anyone who HASN'T seen Total Recall, you need to stop what you're doing and go watch Total Recall... come on... do it...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6P40wLThbc

jnjdun_ESO

WraithAzraiel wrote: »

The hell is a quaid?

This is what I thought at first...

Zhoyzu

"[snip]
And really, I'm not offended or mad- but imagine if *every day* you got referred to as the opposite gender. It's weird. It made me curious as to why.

I appreciate all the feedback!"


i guess id get used to it. i know several females that use "dude" in reference to each other, also "chick" isnt really a way to open a conversation either....

the females i was closer to as friends also didnt mind my using dude. normally i just shout DUDE when i have to say something more to acquire attention to speak then to address the audience. ( i feel i should mention i rarely speak unless spoken too or i absolutely need to say something)

but thats just me

pugyourself

r.leigh.harperb14_ESO wrote: »

I was hoping you Quaids could give me some insight.

I've been online for a long time, and I understand that there are a lot of people out there who truly believe "there are no women on the internet", but really, that's just not the case.

All of my characters are female, with feminine names, but *every* single day I get called "bro", "man", "dude" or "guy"- dozens of times. Not one single person has ever called me "lady", "miss" or even "babe".

Does everybody assume that all females in this game are men in drag? Are there are no gender-neutral forms of address?

I brought this up to a friend, and he suggested I start calling everybody "Quaid".

Thanks, Quaid. Np, Quaid. Nice work, Quaid.

I'm pretty sure he got the idea from the weird chest-baby thing in Total Recall, but I've decided to let that slip, because I like the sound of it.

And before you ask, "u mad, bro?"- I'm not really. Just a bit mystified.

I think about it a little more every time somebody says "thanks, bro...", so I thought I'd put it here, to get it out of my system. I won't correct you if you call me "bro"- but a little "miss" would go a long way...

But you haven't explicitly told us your gender. Are you a female or a male with female characters who is so immersed in role play that he is offended by being called bro?

Lord_Kreegan

Total Recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger is based on a novelette I first read in either SciFi or Analog magazine back in the 60's.

That's how old the story is... I was very surprised to see it come out as a movie when it did, so many years later. The Arnold Schwarzenegger version is very true to the written story; the subsequent movie with Colin Farrell is not. If you want to enjoy the story see Arnold's version. As usual, it's got a little bit of "camp", Schwarzeneggger-style.

milkbox

1- I'm a female IRL

2- The Total Recall remake sucked all the joy and humor out the movie. Make sure you watch Arnold's version.

Schurge

Umm... "bro" and "dude" no longer refer exclusively to males... also... this...

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/No_Girls_on_the_Internet

Scroll down to the bottom.

Gidorick

Lord_Kreegan wrote: »

Total Recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger is based on a novelette I first read in either SciFi or Analog magazine back in the 60's.

That's how old the story is... I was very surprised to see it come out as a movie when it did, so many years later. The Arnold Schwarzenegger version is very true to the written story; the subsequent movie with Colin Farrell is not. If you want to enjoy the story see Arnold's version. As usual, it's got a little bit of "camp", Schwarzeneggger-style.

You know Arnold was THE reason that movie got made. He championed the effort to get it done after the original studio dropped it.

Don't read this if you haven't seen it. It's ssssssspoilerrific!
http://www.thegeektwins.com/2013/11/10-amazing-things-you-didnt-know-about.html#.VSXP3KR0z4Y

phairdon

Guess a few of us realize females play this & other games too. Take into account male's play female characters with feminine names, as I'm yet to run across a female char named 'Bob'.
Might be better to be called "Bro" rather than having a player ask a/s/l as soon as they realize you're female. Not sure if the fore mentioned happens in this game, certainly does in other online games I play.

Psychobunni

Schurge wrote: »

Umm... "bro" and "dude" no longer refer exclusively to males... also... this...

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/No_Girls_on_the_Internet

Scroll down to the bottom.

That's not a good explanation or example. I mean 4chan is is the troll kingdom and like a bad case of clap, nothing from there is to be taken serious past middle school


Maybe the answer is to refer to all female toons as female, no matter what they say......lol

pugyourself

phairdon wrote: »

Guess a few of us realize females play this & other games too. Take into account male's play female characters with feminine names, as I'm yet to run across a female char named 'Bob'.
Might be better to be called "Bro" rather than having a player ask a/s/l as soon as they realize you're female. Not sure if the fore mentioned happens in this game, certainly does in other online games I play.

You know for sure it does.

phairdon

pugyourself wrote: »

phairdon wrote: »

Guess a few of us realize females play this & other games too. Take into account male's play female characters with feminine names, as I'm yet to run across a female char named 'Bob'.
Might be better to be called "Bro" rather than having a player ask a/s/l as soon as they realize you're female. Not sure if the fore mentioned happens in this game, certainly does in other online games I play.

You know for sure it does.

Never witnessed it. Not surprised though.

Schurge

Psychobunni wrote: »

Schurge wrote: »

Umm... "bro" and "dude" no longer refer exclusively to males... also... this...

http://1d4chan.org/wiki/No_Girls_on_the_Internet

Scroll down to the bottom.

That's not a good explanation or example. I mean 4chan is is the troll kingdom and like a bad case of clap, nothing from there is to be taken serious past middle school


Maybe the answer is to refer to all female toons as female, no matter what they say......lol

I think it was pretty accurate for the early days of MMOs... or maybe it is just because I was in High School during the early days of MMOs and I professed my love to another player who turned out to be a dude...

EDIT: Now I don't really use these games to socialize.