Leave or stay?

Kos

So basically, would you stay if your girlfriend banned you from playing ESO? Or would you move out?

Update: Now what would you do if you discovered she was secretly sending emails to Zenimax to nerf your class?

Update 2: There has been some misunderstanding, some posters thought this was my situation. The question was what would you do if... I didn't really want to make a poll so I just posted it as a funny bit. But thanks for all responses I had a blast reading some of them

Bl4ckPope

Move out!

Rosveen

It depends. Why did she tell you to stop playing?

jambam817_ESO

I would have a civil discussion with her for a potential compromise and perhaps reflect on your own behaviors. Is there something she likes to do that you aren't keen on as well? Maybe give eachother the option to indulge in both of your interests, but in moderation.

If you are playing so much that you shut out social interaction with your loved one and they've forced this ultimatum, you should re prioritize.

No game is worth RL drama like that.

ers101284b14_ESO

I'd move out but I'm a Video game addict. Back when FF14 1.0 came out I had a GF who gave me the ultimatum of the game or her. I was like this game sucks and I still choose it over you . I don't regret that decision. She was also Bat*** crazy

Some_Jerk

If you quit ESO, she will likely get bored of you and eventually break up with you because she can too easily tell you what to do and in my experiences females don't find that attractive. Therefore, if you keep ESO at least you'll still have that. If I thought my gaming was a problem I'd probably quit ESO then break up with her first!

Rapscallion74

I wouldnt let a woman "ban" me from anything. I'd kick her to the curb on general principle alone.

Mud_Puppy

Make sammich

kieso

Had two past relationships where my GF's didn't like my game playing; I had to end those relationships as it's a tell tale sign of someone not willing to understand different hobbies.

MongooseOne

I will tell you what I told my now wife...

I will quit ESO when you quit watching &@$! like The Bachelorette.... We have no more problems.

Xsorus

Kos wrote: »

So basically, would you stay if your girlfriend banned you from playing ESO? Or would you move out?

You mine as well leave, if she's already telling you you're banned from things, the relationship is already in a bad place, you'll quit, and you'll spend more time with her....at that point she'll realize it wasn't ESO annoying her, it was the relationship and she'll break it off with ya.

Falmer

Seriously, time to sit down and have the break up talk then, to be honest. A healthy relationship does not have two people dictating terms to the other.

Find yourself a relationship with someone who loves that you have something you enjoy so much.

My wife and I have been together 11 years and at NO time has she or I ever tried to "ban" the other from doing something they love to do. Someone who ACTUALLY loves the other person would be thrilled they have something they enjoy so thoroughly.

Mr.Turtlesworth

I'd move out. What can your girlfriend do that ESO cant? Assuming your computer has a USB port.

daneyulebub17_ESO

Interesting the OP would be the one moving out. I picture a guy living in his gf's apartment, playing games all day, ignoring her and never helping with the housework. Hell yeah she should give him an ultimatum in that case.

If, though, he plays a reasonable amount--(like the amount of time SHE watches tv or does her leisure activities)--they do stuff together a few nights a week, he helps around the house and brings in income, then she sounds like a nag and maybe he should leave, but in that case it all depends on the internet connection at the place he'd be going to.

AlienSlof

Speaking from the other side, as a woman, I would never presume to tell my husband what to do in his spare time. If we run into a conflict we sit down and talk through a compromise. If she is just bossing you around without offering a compromise - leave.

He got me into computer gaming and nearly 30 years later we are still going strong. Perhaps offer to teach her some ESO and see how she responds.

txfeinbergsub17_ESO

Let's be honest here, we are only hearing half of the story. If you are playing so much that you are completely ignoring her, then you are at fault and I guess you need to decide what you value more.

NewBlacksmurf

You need to first look at life decisions. If anything related to entertainment is putting a strain on a relationship evaluate your priorities.

Also, are you really into her if you would rather play games vs time with her.

Elencha

@AlienSlof‌ I both agree and disagree, in a way, speaking also from a woman's point of view. No wife should order her husband around. But when compromise doesn't work, a man needs to put his foot down, not just abandon ship. Man up and tell her how it's going to be. If he does this with firmness and love that should solve this and all future problems. If he does it with arrogance they'll just be two little kids screaming at each other. If she truly can't be brought to heel, then maybe he needs a weaker woman cuz he's not strong enough for this one.

daneyulebub17_ESO

NewBlacksmurf wrote: »

You need to first look at life decisions. If anything related to entertainment is putting a strain on a relationship evaluate your priorities.

Also, are you really into her if you would rather play games vs time with her.

Don't agree at all. Just because you sometimes like to do something on your own it doesn't mean you're not into some one. It just means that you aren't tied to her 24/7.

Which would be kind of smothering.... wouldn't it?

Redlag

I would just keep playing and not address the issue or leave. Because once you let them give you an ultimatum and you comply. More will come. Next thing you know the girl will be breaking up with you every time she doesn't get her way. You'll be stuck being rational to an infant throwing a fit. Baby come on.. We do things that you like all the time. There's no reason to break up over it.

Women have been taught to get their way by giving you an ultimatum. Through every love comedy ending with a girl falling for some happy funny hilarious guy doing what he wants, chasing her in the end, begging and apologizing and promising not to be himself anymore. Some women get their kicks and low esteem fixes on it. Some women think they can make you into a better guy that they actually want.

If you like who you are on any level. Do not give up anything to an ultimatum. It doesn't stop with the computer. It moves on to how you act. What you say. She'll make you feel bad about everything you do and then give you that ultimatum.

The best thing to do is say.. I love you. I like who you are. If you don't like who I am. it hurts me that you're willing to let me go over petty things. I don't see this working out. When you're walking out the door say. "I'll miss you". This finalizes that you have accepted her ultimatum and won't be stewing in it thinking about her anymore. You accept it and are ready to move on. You girlfriend doesn't want you to move on. She wants you to comply and when you're gone. She'll want you to stew in her absence enough to chase her down the street in taxis to the airport like every love comedy she's ever watched.

You also have to think about what this really means. You have a girlfriend who holds the relationship hostage to get what she wants. The first thing she is destroying right now is your security with her if you chose to stay with her. She's telling you that she can let you go. Very bad for a relationship. Already putting her in a stronger position than you. This is the very tactic women use to emasculate men without knowing they're doing it. The more you give in. The more she'll lose respect for you. Of course you want her to be happy, but she also wants a confident man that's sure of himself.

I could go on forever. This is actually something you have to learn for yourself. Im telling you through. You give in now. It won't stop here. You're effectively teaching her, if you comply, that this is how she gets her way with you.

TonyCawk

Kos wrote: »

So basically, would you stay if your girlfriend banned you from playing ESO? Or would you move out?

If your girlfriend doesn't respect your hobbies, she doesn't respect you.
If she dared to try and give me that ultimatum with something i enjoy doing in my spare time..I wouldn't move out..I'd kick her out. She isn't worth your time, you can do better.

TonyCawk

Redlag wrote: »

I would just keep playing and not address the issue or leave. Because once you let them give you an ultimatum and you comply. More will come. Next thing you know the girl will be breaking up with you every time she doesn't get her way. You'll be stuck being rational to an infant throwing a fit. Baby come on.. We do things that you like all the time. There's no reason to break up over it.

Women have been taught to get their way by giving you an ultimatum. Through every love comedy ending with a girl falling for some happy funny hilarious guy doing what he wants, chasing her in the end, begging and apologizing and promising not to be himself anymore. Some women get their kicks and low esteem fixes on it. Some women think they can make you into a better guy that they actually want.

If you like who you are on any level. Do not give up anything to an ultimatum. It doesn't stop with the computer. It moves on to how you act. What you say. She'll make you feel bad about everything you do and then give you that ultimatum.

The best thing to do is say.. I love you. I like who you are. If you don't like who I am. it hurts me that you're willing to let me go over petty things. I don't see this working out. When you're walking out the door say. "I'll miss you". This finalizes that you have accepted her ultimatum and won't be stewing in it thinking about her anymore. You accept it and are ready to move on. You girlfriend doesn't want you to move on. She wants you to comply and when you're gone. She'll want you to stew in her absence enough to chase her down the street in taxis to the airport like every love comedy she's ever watched.

You also have to think about what this really means. You have a girlfriend who holds the relationship hostage to get what she wants. The first thing she is destroying right now is your security with her if you chose to stay with her. She's telling you that she can let you go. Very bad for a relationship. Already putting her in a stronger position than you. This is the very tactic women use to emasculate men without knowing they're doing it. The more you give in. The more she'll lose respect for you. Of course you want her to be happy, but she also wants a confident man that's sure of himself.

I could go on forever. This is actually something you have to learn for yourself. Im telling you through. You give in now. It won't stop here. You're effectively teaching her, if you comply, that this is how she gets her way with you.

Well said.

cracker81

What can't hear you, over me packing my stuff.

starlizard70ub17_ESO

Like many people here have already said, if you allow her to ban you from one thing, it won't end there. She'll just keep demanding you to give up more and more until you have nothing left to give and then she'll still walk on you. (works the same way for guys demanding from their girlfriends.) If you give in once to this type of blackmail, they'll keep pushing and pushing until you break.

Limitless

If the game wasn't negatively impacting my life in such a way that I needed someone to tell me to stop, then I wouldn't stop.

It's situational for sure, but personally I wouldn't let any significant other ban me from doing things that wasn't hurting my life.

Enkil

Do you LOVE him/her? If so, stay and stop playing and try to get him/her to understand that you are a gamer and he/she needs to love you anyway (and maybe try to play games with you).

If it isn't love don't even bother trying to fight the battle... it's not worth it and it's probably a battle you're gonna have to fight when you do find love unless it's with a fellow gamer.

RinaldoGandolphi

I would never let a woman dictate to me what I can and can't do. Just not going to happen. I AM THE MAN and I act like one. I don't disrespect my women, but no way I let them order me around or dictate to me...its simply not going to happen.

the fact is a woman is replaceable just like a man is replaceable, if a woman don't like me or what I do she is free to leave, the opposite is also true I'm free to cut bait at anytime.

women that give ultimatums instead of talking about things in a civil manner need to grow up. I booted my ex over that nonsense in a minute...it literally took me 2 seconds of thought to know I was done...sure I loved her, but sometimes you love what's not good for you like smoking, drinking, etc. Knowing when to let go is also a form of love too.

now if your neglecting your wife and soending all your time playing eso that's one thing, playing a few hours a day and still taking care of business and she is nagging and issuing ultimatums is whole other issue entirely, if its the later, cut bait and don't look back, you will thank me for it.

Cyanhide

Relevant.

Montanabum

Dude who needs a chick when you have ESO!

SirAndy

From now on, whenever someone is wondering why i hate grouping with random people in this game, i'll just point them to this thread. Case closed ...

Rosveen

This thread is full of fail. We still don't know anything about the situation. You all assume she's ordering him around, but maybe he spends 12 hours a day playing a video game and neglects his responsibilities, so she got angry. Or a hundred other options.