Saelent wrote: »

EIGHTS wrote: »

Why do you care about you are ignored?
Who ignores me is their loss, not mine.

But what if you aren’t being ignored? What if it just looks like it because they all look the same?

Then you can message them after the loading screen/when they log on.

Saelent wrote: »

Royaji wrote: »

Saelent wrote: »

EIGHTS wrote: »

Why do you care about you are ignored?
Who ignores me is their loss, not mine.

But what if you aren’t being ignored? What if it just looks like it because they all look the same?

Then you can message them after the loading screen/when they log on.

Yes, but that might take time, they might have disconnected. At the time I thought I had been ignored because of the price I had quoted for the item. I nearly removed them from my friend list because I thought the ignore list hadn’t removed them.

Ignore does remove a player from you friends list.

I still fail to see why do you need a hard confirmation if you have been ignored or not. Either you can contact them and you are not ignored or you can and they are either not in the game or have ignored you. Regardless they are not going to answer to you "right now".

VaranisArano wrote: »

I don't think players need to know when they've been ignored. Part of the Ignore function is that the player using it just gets to mute the other person. There's any number of people who would take that as an excuse to step up whatever behavior got them ignored.

For an improvement to the system, I wish players couldn't message people they've ignored. There's a certain type of player who likes to send hate-tells to folks but then ignores them so they never have to deal with any vitriol and witty ripostes. If you want to dish it out, you ought to be able to take it. Conversely, if you don't want to take it, you shouldn't be able to dish it out.

I agree players have no business knowing they have been ignored. While I do not have much experience with the ignore list as I do not need an ignore list to ignore someone. However, I had thought that if an account was on a players' ignore list then they could not PM them.

My guess is they may be temporarily removing them from the ignore list, sending them a message them ignoring them again. Yes, that is petty and a good solution is to ignore them back and be done with it.

nafensoriel wrote: »

I think the ignore system could be improved by people getting thicker skin and remembering it's just a video game.

I have a little story to tell:

Standing around in Elden Root chatting in guild.
Random person walks up and whispers me: LOL master angler huh?
to which i respond: *flex
random person: better not go to cyro with that
me: had to go to cyro to get it
them: i had sex an hour ago
me: rock on

Well, not sure what ANY of that was about, but I didn't put the person on my ignore list xD

One person certainly knew when I had put him on ignore, because I saw one side of a (clearly angry!) conversation he was having about me, on guild chat.

Hmmm, be salt free and cleanse yourself of stressful peeps with pushing da button.

I mean to make ignoring someone easier or better is more on us and how we interact with others socially....people are people, trolls are silly trolls.

More importantly, could I please have a The torchbug firefly pet ?

The yellow one, if any super duper mod is skim reading this topic by chance

Thnx

@ZOS_GinaBruno @ZOS_JessicaFolsom

#TorchbugPetAdoption

Coatmagic wrote: »

nafensoriel wrote: »

I think the ignore system could be improved by people getting thicker skin and remembering it's just a video game.

I have a little story to tell:

Standing around in Elden Root chatting in guild.
Random person walks up and whispers me: LOL master angler huh?
to which i respond: *flex
random person: better not go to cyro with that
me: had to go to cyro to get it
them: i had sex an hour ago
me: rock on

Well, not sure what ANY of that was about, but I didn't put the person on my ignore list xD

This is an example of the type of conversation I would not get into, especially after the comment about Cyro. They are obviously a troll or an idiot and not worthy of my time.

HumbleThaumaturge wrote: »

Thevampirenight wrote: »

I don't like using the Ignore system unless its for gold seller spammers. In fact I would not mind if they reduced the ignore list to fifty and giving us 150 friend slots as having a one hundred friends limit is so annoying .
A 150 would be better and since I don't really use the Ignore list unless Its a gold spammer. Given there isn't any in chat that I see. Not since they added the Delete limit, I don't see the need for the ignore list like before when there were gold spammers.

So reducing it would be fine with me. I know some people like to ignore others for various reasons. But to me not seeing what is being said is worse and seeing half conversations isn't something I care for. I prefer to see the whole conversation then half for example.

Isn't the "Ignore List" limited to 25? I would gratefully approve of it being 50.

You can ignore up to 100 accounts.

jircris11 wrote: »

nafensoriel wrote: »

I think the ignore system could be improved by people getting thicker skin and remembering it's just a video game.

Most of today's society can be improved by ppl getting thicker skin.

Nah, I think society would be better served if we stopped coddling jerks.

TheFM wrote: »

jircris11 wrote: »

nafensoriel wrote: »

I think the ignore system could be improved by people getting thicker skin and remembering it's just a video game.

Most of today's society can be improved by ppl getting thicker skin.

Nah, I think society would be better served if we stopped coddling jerks.

The thing is, this is the very definition of a black and white argument - there are no shades of grey, here (on either side).

I'm tempted to take your side entirely, as I am an essentially kind (albeit, sometimes fiery!) person, who dislikes bullying immensely.

However, if we look at the bigger picture, here (not just in the game, in general), it's not quite as simple as that...

Refusing to allow people to say certain things, tempting as it is, can inadvertently lead us down a path of censorship.

As there are certain people (authoritarian people!) who would benefit from other people not being allowed to say anything, even remotely, critical of them.

...and you can bet that, if more censorship occurs, they will make absolutely sure it will not just take away people's rights to be abusive to each other, but also our right to know about things we may need to know about and also, to challenge certain people on certain things they have said, or done.

On the other hand, there are other people (press people!) who want to be free to say whatever they like about other people, true and/or in the public interest, or not and they will try to use the threat of the taking away of free speech, to stop that freedom to gossip being taken away.

So, these things are complicated and cut both ways...

Also, purely for our own good, it's better if we don't just fall to pieces as soon as anyone says something to us we don't like.

Yes, if we go down the censorship route, we can get them censored afterwards, but at least some of the harm will already have been done, by then.

So, what about a bit of both?

Empower ourselves to no longer take it personally, when other people express different opinions to us; even if they may express them in a way that is less than polite.

View that as just an unfortunate and unavoidable consequence of maintaining free speech.

Don't try to silence, or cancel them - instead, listen to them and talk to them, if possible.

If we do this, we might actually learn something new about other people's situations and how other people think.

Tolerate their point of view, even if it appears to be the opposite of our own (on the surface, at least).

Try to work out where they are coming from and why.

Try to, also, do that, even in the case of people who say really unnecessary and cruel things about things people really can't help (like physical appearance, disability, skin colour, or whatever).

However, in this case, especially, try to also challenge what they are saying.

Try to make them see that they are just attacking someone's outer shell, which is pretty pointless, anyway.

As can be, on the other hand, becoming too wrapped up in protecting all the minute details of our own outer shells (mudcrab, or otherwise!), as well.

We are not our shells...

We shouldn't let things get under our skins (or shells!), too much, but we should also try to challenge any (genuinely) unkind acts we may see.

I'm trying to say that some of this is down to choice...

It may not feel like it is, I understand that, but it is.

If someone (especially someone who hasn't just insulted us!) tells us to grow "thicker skin", we can choose to take that as a criticism of our, currently, thinner skin (from his point of view, at least), or we can choose to view it as a clumsy attempt to enable us to be stronger, in the face of inevitable adversity, in life.

The same as if someone calls us "naive", or a "sheep", or whatever.

We can choose to, automatically, see that as a criticism, or we can choose to see it as a possible key to something we may be missing...

You could classify these kinds of mild criticisms (assuming the person means well) as grumpy, clumsy, acts of love, in a way...

Because, these people may be trying to lead us away from harm, in their own way.

Whenever someone would say something less than nice to me and I would complain about it, my boyfriend would just look at me calmly, with a slightly bemused look on his face and say; "But, why do you care what they think?".

...and really, I couldn't deny he had a point.

When you acknowledge that someone has said, or done, something you find very unpleasant, without provocation, you have, presumably, assessed them to have far lower standards of behaviour than your own(?).

Because this is someone who thinks it's perfectly OK to say, or do, something you would either never say, or do; or you would never say, or do, without very good reason.

So, you have effectively assessed them to be socially inept, incapable of minding their own business and/or to have little, to no, self control and/or manners.

So, having acknowledged that these people are some, or all, of those things and are running around doing ridiculous and quite frankly, pitiful things, that you wouldn't, why would you then still care what they think of you?

You have basically categorised them as being below your contempt, so why are you still letting them get to you?

Especially as they may not even think it, at all, and are just lashing out, in an attempt to make themselves feel better and/or they may have serious problems, in their own lives, that you would have sympathy for, if you knew.

Sorry to waffle on, it's just that, if you think about it, life is a little more complicated than choosing between growing a "thicker skin", or stopping "coddling jerks".

Of course people should not behave like jerks and we should not coddle them, if they do, but we do also have the power to decide not to care as much, if they do, if we choose to embrace it.