Yeah I know, not another Elder Scrolls Online players guide. I hear you, there are plenty of guides out there on about every aspect of the game there is. This one though will cover a few basic things that other guides from what I can tell assume we already know. I thought of calling this the “Idiot’s Guide to ESO” (just dawned on me last night that ESO stands for Elder Scrolls Online) or “ESO for Dummies”. Not being an expert in copyright law though I decided to not chance an infringement. I hear those lawyers can be mean. So welcome to the ESO Guide for MMO Challenged Players!
Right here at the start I will say I don’t expect this guide to be all encompassing and neither should you. It will be more of a fluid guide that I and others can add to and alter as needed. With that out of the way we begin.
Where to begin? There are other guides that will help with the installation of the game and also help with character development. We will rely on the wisdom of those other guides here and instead talk about something that should be done before creating your first character. The very first thing you should do is go to all your neighbors and inform them you purchased this game and plan on spending a great amount of time playing. This prevents concern on their part when they haven’t seen you for several days and notice a certain unpleasant aroma when passing by. More important it may prevent having to explain to the police that yes the neighbors did hear you yell, “I’m back with two swords, die witch die” but the witch in question is Doshia and she deserves to die. Oh yeah spoiler alert, Doshia is a witch who deserves to die. The alternative is to not shout at the computer screen, but we all know that isn’t going to happen.
That is actually a good tip for players new to MMOs. When posting in the forums alert people before you post something that may give away part of the story line. When you spoil a surprise they call you all kinds of bad names. Now let us jump right into game play.
1. There are plenty of places to explore in the game. Sometimes you might come to a cliff and get curious at what lies below. Before you jump off the cliff there one question you should ask yourself. Is there a way back up the cliff without running half way around the continent? Actually you should also ask, will it kill me if I jump off this cliff. So two questions you should ask before leaping.
2. There are plenty of things to pick up in the game. Flowers, rocks, chunks of wood and all kinds of cool stuff. There are also critters in the game that will thump you for no other reason than you got close to them. Often these critters are near the all kinds of cool things you can pick up. So before you go running towards that funny looking rock with the green glow in the middle look around first for spiders.
3. Speaking of critters thumping you don’t wait until you are almost dead to try and learn how to dodge and block. Learn how to dodge and block on critters you know you can whomp, and preferably while you are at or near full health. Almost dead is when you should learn how to run.
4. When running from a critter do not run off a cliff.
5. When running from a critter do not run into more critters.
6. This is an advanced situation, but often one ponders when running how far should I run. I am not sure if there is a precise distance to run, but I prefer to sprint until I am out of stealth then turn around and see if I am still being chased. After I have been chased I like to throw a Stonefist at the critter that was chasing me. The stonefist will follow the critter all the way back to where the chase started and with luck way off in the distance you will see the critter knocked to his butt. Doesn’t kill the critter but at least later in the pub you can brag about getting in the last shot.
7. This should have been earlier in the guide. When you bind your actions to certain keys learn where you put them. I for instance have jump set to “0” on my number pad and roll or dodge set to “1”. Or the other way around, I forget now. A little story might explain best why this is important. I was running around in a field chasing butterflies and killing frogs when I happened upon a tower. I climbed to the top of the tower and looking west there appeared a beautiful sunset. I wanted a photo/screenshot of it (more on those later) but was to short to see over the little wall at the top of the tower. So I figured I would jump up in the air, shoot the photo and have my nice sunset saved for all time. Instead I did a backwards summersault off the ledge and to my death. So remember what you bind your keys to.
8. Photos/screenshots. Being a photographer out there in the real world (remember that place?) I was happy, almost overjoyed, to learn we could take photos in game. Comes with a certain amount of danger involved though. Danger not to just you, but the critters around you. If you chance upon a deer in the meadow and are moving around to get just the right spot so that the waterfall is in the background there is about an 80% chance that some bast… some guy will come running by and whomp the deer upside the head with a huge axe. So for the sake of the deer be quick with your photo.
9. When looking for that perfect angle to get the waterfall in the background just right try not to walk into a group of zombies. For some reason zombies react bad to that. Same thing goes for trying to get the moons just right in the sky. While walking around looking at the sky glance around from time to time for zombies and cliffs.
10. Sunsets are quite nice in this game. I like to get the rays coming through the trees, from behind a building or even through the masts of a ship. When moving from side to side to get the sunset just right do not walk off of a cliff or castle wall. It ruins the shot and could kill you.
11. You might notice I have a thing about cliffs. I don’t have a precise count, but I am fairly certain cliffs have killed me more than Doshia did and she cost me a few thousand in armor repairs at least. So watch out for cliffs they will sneak up on you.
12. Fishing is fun. To fish you need bait. You can get bait by killing rats, frogs, chickens and a few other assorted small critters. While a staff will kill a frog from more than twenty paces away a dagger will not. Get close to the frog when using daggers. Nothing more embarrassing than having to two shot a frog.
13. Frogs like flowers are often found near other critters so same precaution applies. This time though instead of looking for spiders look for alligators before running after a frog. Also with frogs and flowers look out for wolves and bears.
14. When fishing try not to stand on an alligator.
15. Don’t fish where zombies spawn. If you can kick a zombie around then you can ignore this advice.
16. When you see two zombies and you think to yourself, I can beat two zombies, look close. There might be three.
17. When looking at a map or your inventory and you hear a thump followed by the edges of your screen turning red/orange don’t think (or say) “what the hell was that”. Just run. You can go back later and look to see what it was.
18. When in a building and facing a superior foe do not run upstairs. Doesn’t work in those scary movies and doesn’t work here. Also do not run in a circle. Run out the door. I know I said earlier when running from something/one that might be about to cause you severe bodily harm do not run at another, but in the case of doors being near evil doers it is okay to run toward them so long as eventually you get out the door.
19. When a door is blocked by nearby thugs and other nasty types remember sneak in run out. Run in and they may follow. You can sneak out if you want. Many times sneak and run like a madman accomplish the same goal.
20. He who hesitates loses the motif.
I think this is a good start for exploring the world around you. I am sure I left a few things out but as they occur to me or others that wish to offer advice they will be posted. Next I intend to provide some much needed insight into dungeons. Spoiler alert, it will involve lots of running away.
and then the parrot said, "must be the water mines green too."