[Book] Galos' Fables

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In the land of Morrowind, where the sun dips into the ash wastes and paints the sky with hues of crimson and gold, the Dunmer have long shared stories of wisdom and folly. In this, a collection of fables from the forgotten corners of Dunmeri lands, we find the eternal truths of the natural world laid bare. The proud are humbled, the meek are exalted, and the clever are rewarded. These are not the tales of heroes, of great Houses and mighty warriors. These are the stories of the everyday, of the forgotten and the overlooked.

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The Dunmer and the Kagouti

Dunmer of a remote village once called a meeting to decide on a plan to free themselves of their enemy, Big Tooth, a Kagouti that had plagued their village for years. This was no ordinary Kagouti, for she was as sneaky as a shadow, striking fear into the hearts of all who crossed her path. She would hide in the tall grass, silent as death, before charging at unsuspecting Dunmer.

At least the Dunmer wished to find some way of knowing when she was coming, so they might have time to run away. Indeed, something had to be done, for they lived in such constant fear of her gaping maw that they hardly dared stir from their huts by night or day.

Many plans were discussed, but none of them was thought good enough. At last a very young Dunmer got up and said: "I have a plan that seems very simple, but I know it will be successful. All we have to do is to hang a bell about the Kagouti's neck. When we hear the bell ringing we will know immediately that our enemy is coming."

All the Dunmer were much surprised that they had not thought of such a plan before. But in the midst of the rejoicing over their good fortune, an old Dunmer arose and said: "I will say that the plan of the young Dunmer is very good. But let me ask one question: Who will bell the Kagouti?"

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The Guar-Herd Who Cried Heresy

A Guar-herd watched over his master’s guar near a Daedric ruin. The life of a guar-herd was rather dull. Nothing exciting ever happened. All he could do was talk to the guar as they grazed in the pasture.

One day as the guar-herd sat watching the guars and looking out at the ruins, and thinking what he would do should he see cultists moving about the ruins, he thought of a plan to amuse himself.

His Master, knowing that Daedric cultists often perform profane rituals in abandoned ruins, told him should he see cultists that he should go for help in the local village and the villagers would drive them out. So, naturally the guar-herd ran to the village and shouted, “Heresy! Heresy! Cultists are in the ruins!” The villagers stopped what they were doing and took up their arms and charged toward the ruins, prepared to fight. When they found nothing they returned to the guar-herd and found him laughing. Unamused, the villagers returned to their homes.

Several days later, the guar-herd was bored again. Again he ran to the village and shouted, “Heresy! Heresy! Cultists are in the ruins!” Again the villagers took arms and charged to the ruins, only to find them empty again and the guar-herd laughing.

A few days had passed. This time the guar-herd really did see cultists. They were leaving the ruins and heading toward the village! “Heresy! Heresy!” the guar-herd cried as he ran into the village. “Cultists have taken the ruins and are coming here!” No one believed him. As such the village was unprepared for the onslaught of cultists who needed victims for their profane rituals.

They left none alive.

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The Duke and the Mudcrab

The Duke of Mournhold looked in the mirror.

“What a handsome and distinguished Mer I am,” he said. “I will go forth to show my devoted subjects that their leader is every inch a noble and high-born!”

The Duke put on his robes, his jewels, his coronet, and all of his gold and silver medals. As he walked down the streets of Mournhold, everyone who saw him bowed. Some even bowed to the ground which pleased him immensely.

“Yes, yes,” said the Duke, “I deserve this respect from the people, for truly I am every inch a noble and high-born!”

The Duke walked and walked until he found himself on the shores of Lake Amaya. There was a small mudcrab standing near the edge of the water.

When the Duke saw him, he cried, “Mudcrab, I command you to bow low before me!”

“Most noble Duke,” said the Mudcrab, “I know that I am small, but if you look closely, you will see that I am making a bow.”

The Duke leaned over.

“Mudcrab,” he said, “you are so hard to see down there. I am not sure that you are bowing.”

“Most noble Duke,” said the Mudcrab, “Please look more closely. I assure you that I am indeed bowing.”

The Duke leaned over a little farther.

Now the robes, the jewels, the coronet, and all of the gold and silver medals had made the Duke a bit top-heavy. Suddenly he lost his balance and fell on his head. With a great yell, he tumbled into the lake and into the waiting jaws of a school of slaughterfish.

The frightened Mudcrab scurried away and the Duke was dead.

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The Lady and Her Robes

Lady Niryon saw robes hanging in a shop in Mournhold. They were covered in polka dots, stripes and flowers. They were adorned with ribbons and lace, and colored in shades of purples, blues, and even greens. She stood by and admired it for a moment, then, speaking to the shopkeeper, “The robes there,” pointing to them, “I would like to try them on.”

Lady Niryon put on the robes. She looked at her reflection, “I do not think these robes are at all attractive to me. What do you think?”

“But, Muthsera,” said the Hlaalu shopkeeper, “you are completely wrong. These robes make you look glamorous and alluring. Fitting for someone of your position in Dunmer society.”

“If only I were sure,” said Lady Niryon, placing a thoughtful finger upon her lips while gazing at the mirror.

“Ah, Muthsera,” said the Hlaalu shopkeeper, “everyone who sees you wearing them will be filled with admiration and envy, both peasant AND noble.”

“Do you really think so?” asked Lady Niryon, turning around and around in the view of the mirror.

“By the gods, absolutely,” said the Hlaalu shopkeeper. “I swear by my ancestors my statement is true.”

“Very well,” said Lady Niryon with a smile, “I will buy the robes, and I will wear them now.”

Lady Niryon left the shop. As she walked through the square, she saw that people were smiling and laughing at her.

“Admiration,” thought Lady Niryon. A smug look appeared on her face.

She saw some people who were shaking their heads and frowning.

“Envy,” thought Lady Niryon, raising her head a little higher as she passed them.

She continued through the square. Everyone who saw her stopped and stared with their mouths open. Lady Niryon felt more glamorous and alluring with every step.

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The Lady’s Umbrella

Lady Niryon was taking her daily walk through the city. While in the square, she met her friend, Lady Drethan.

“My good friend. The Three bless you,” said Lady Drethan, “How strange to find you holding an open umbrella over your head on such a sunny day as this.”

“Yes,” said Lady Niryon. “I am most annoyed. I cannot close this disagreeable umbrella. I would not think of walking without my umbrella in case it should rain. But, with it stuck, I am not able to enjoy the sunshine underneath this shadow. It is a distressing predicament.”

“There is a simple solution,” said Lady Drethan. “You need only to cut some holes in your umbrella and the sun will shine on you.”

“What a good idea!” cried Lady Niryon. “Thank you, my good friend.”

Lady Niryon quickly went home. With a small blade, she cut large holes in the top of her umbrella. When Lady Niryon returned for her walk, the warm sunshine came down through the large holes.

“How delightful!” said Lady Niryon with a smile.

However, as it always does in Morrowind, the sun disappeared behind some clouds and the sky became dark. Then it began to pour. The rain fell through all the holes in the umbrella. In just a short time, the unhappy noblemer was soaked to the skin.