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https://forums.elderscrollsonline.com/en/discussion/668861

The Assassin's Psychiatrist

Morimizo
Morimizo
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The following is an excerpt from a little known professional psychotherapist headquartered in the upper west side of the old Anvil smuggler tunnels.

14 Loredas, Sun's Height, 3:07 PM.

This afternoon brought to my door the usual leather-clad shadowy figure, not brimming with gloom and self-reproach or the stench of arrogant destructive competence, but a discombobulated, exasperated, and exhausted person.

Me: "Come in, come in, Sujamma to take the edge off?"

Client: <remains silent>

Me: "Of course. Have a seat, I'll get that drink. So, what brings you here today, more boasting, no doubt?"

My client clasped the cup with shaking hands, imbibed its contents fully, and continued to bore a hole in the back wall with his wild stare.

Me: "Take your time, my 3:30 canceled, and I can always catch up on the news about King Kurog in the Daily...

With a flourish, my client stood up and began pacing back and forth...no, stomping more like; then let forth the most gregarious soliloquy ever uttered from an assassin I've ever witnessed.

Client: "It's sooo frustrating, doc!! I thought killing someone would be a great way to make some coin, and that it would be permanent for the victim, you know??! But I should have known when I stalked that fisherman in Kvatch; he was standing in the midst of 3 other bodies already, that looked just like him! I let the Blade do it's work anyway, and holy Akatosh, it was like puncturing a pig bladder stretched to the limit and full of blood. I only made one tiny pierce in his back! Then, all the blood just disappeared, he fell over, and there were 4 bodies, all dressed the same, in a pile. I stuck to my training, though, such as it was, and left the area for a bit. But when I came back, there he was, STANDING THERE, WHISTLING, and ASKED ME, "Think the fish are biting today?" !!!!! Well, I panicked, and stabbed him again, but this time a guard saw me, and I had to run. Well, I tried anyway. I froze in place, everything went black, I saw a bunch of weird numbers, and I woke up presumably a few seconds later at the front of Kvatch. Not sure what happened. Maybe the Supernal Dreamers were messing with me? I had to go back and check. BUT THE FISHERMAN WAS STANDING THERE, PERFECTLY FINE, AND FISHING. AND HUMMING TO HIMSELF. What the...!!?! This time, I planned it more carefully, did the deed, and didn't get caught. I retreated to the bushes, and waited. Apparently there were serious problems with this contract, because over the next hour, I saw the same fisherman get killed 18 times, by 15 different assassins. He reappeared every time. I'm losing my mind here, doc, nothing makes sense anymore. Can you help me?"

Me: "Well, I could, but lost minds are such precious, precocious collectibles!! WELCOME TO THE ISLES!!!"



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