The Things People Do (Short Story)

Krist

"And we have the new comers to thank for this, the roads have been opened since they took care of the problem," the mayor said, nodding his head in a way that made his double chins wobble over his colorful doublet.
"What can we do though sir, we are not a rich town," the wealthy council member said, and the other two agreed wholeheartedly.
The mayor huffed a moment. While he was truly grateful for the knight and wood elf stopping the bandits on the roadway, he was also truly wanting to share in their glory. He would not be known as the mayor that let the mighty heroes of Falkreath go without some fanfare.
"Where are they staying at," one of the council members asked. He was the skinny thoughtful one that moved to the Falkreath with his family when he was 10. Not really a true citizen of the town, as most considered, but very much a caring and thoughtful fellow.
"At the inn, but I cannot see where that is of any consequence," the mayor replied, trying to think of where the skinny council member was going with this.
"Let us move them into the Mayor's House for a few nights. It is surely more comfortable," the skinny man said.
The short council member eyed the rich council member for a moment, and when he saw the rich council member was going to agree, he spoke up.
"I think that is a lovely idea!"
The mayor eyed them for a bit, and was trying to figure out why this was a bad idea. It was true, he never stayed at the house. It was big and comfortable but he preferred his own residence just outside of town that was just as comfortable, and had all of his own stuff in it. It was not only that, he had to make this his idea some kind of way, if he was to agree with it. Staying mayor was a tricky business among Nords. They loved fighters and fighting but cunning and book smarts was not high on their ladder of noble acts. Most of his constituents probably never read a book. The fact was, there really was no such a thing as a mayor and council until he made them. His political savvy made them agree they needed one, and of course he was the right choice since no one but him knew they needed one.
"Yes, let us put them in my....the Mayor's House. It is perfect for what I was thinking! We can lead the parade right up and into the grand foyer, the one with the chandeliers. Invite the Ladies of Akatosh's Perpetual Sorrow to bring food and drink and lead us in to surprise them! Get the two heroes now and get them settled in, we have alot of planning to do. I want this done by the end of the week men!"
At this everyone nodded, thinking how wise their mayor really was for coming up with such a grand plan.

"I don't like it Krist," Belwin said, looking around the room. She was a wood elf, and liked things fairly simple. A nice tree was better than this.
"Can't say I do either," Krist agreed, looking up to the chandelier. "They insisted though. I guess they wanted the room in the inn for someone else."
Belwin shook her head, a bit angry. It was always the same in these Nord towns. They hated outsiders, and wood elves were among the top of the list. They usually eyed her as a thief, which of course she was at one time. That did not mean they had to eye her as one before she actually thieved. Besides, Krist would not allow her to take anything anyway, being a knight of the noble sorts.
"I aint going upstairs," Belwin insisted. "There can't be nothing of any good up there. This is probably full of haunts and things and they put us in here for the night so they can get another freebie out of us. Don't they know they still owe us for the bandit killing?"
"Belwin, it was not a bandit killing. They refused to give up and was going to kill us. They don't really owe us, either. I was just hoping they would see the benefit of what we did and maybe...." Krist didn't finish, but just frowned a bit, now looking at the giant fireplace.
"I aint going upstairs," Belwin repeated, looking up the finely banistered curved staircase.
"We can sleep here, by the fire place, maybe they will have another room at the inn tomorrow. They sure did not seem that busy anyway," Krist said with a sigh and a shake of his head. While he did not want, nor even like, fanfare, it was obvious they did not even care that he and Belwin took care of the bandits. They sent two town guards, one with a shifty eye, to escort them to the house, like criminals. They marched the two right down the middle of the street like they were bringing them to the gallows. Krist even asked if they were being held for crimes in the house at the end of the main street, but the two guards just laughed as if he made a joke. Krist could not tell if the shifty eyed guard was looking at him or the other guard when he assured him it was an honor. The man simply smiled way too much.
The doors were not locked and the windows were not barred, so if they were trying to keep the two, this was not the house to keep them in. No, he figured, they were just needing the inn for some noble or something.
"Let's just get some sleep and we will figure it all out tomorrow," Krist said.
Belwin smiled to herself. Krist would not be getting any sleep right away. She had to make this night better some kind of way!

The next day Lady Nadaline and her Seven Sisters of Perpetual Sorrow lead the procession to the great house. The mayor, the council, and their wives followed behind. The band, which was really one snobbish high elf bard and three men who could kind of play a tune, followed them. Behind the "band" were others with streamers and flags and food and drink. Everyone was happy, as they loved parades. They all met on the other side of town, quite early, as to not disturb their heroes. The mayor gave his speech and told them each their jobs and how they would enter the home and surprise their guests as they came down stairs to a hearty Nord tune, good food, good friends, and a nice prayer from the Sisters.
Lady Nadaline waited with a smile on her face. Sure, it was not the perpetual sorrow she normally felt, but they needed to smile at the heroes. No one wanted to startle them and make them feel embarrassed, so she traded her normal frown, and turned it upside down, as the mayor told her to. The other Sorrowful Sisters also forced a smile. It did not exactly look natural on the eight of them, but it had to do.
The mayor motioned for everyone to be quiet as he slowly turned the key in the door, unlocking it.
Lady Nadaline hurried in, followed by the Sorrowful Sisters. The mayor quickly took his place and entered with the council members and their wives. The band started playing a good Nord tune, Sway As We Kiss, which is the only one they all new.

The mayor was shocked, and shocked was not even a good enough word to describe what he was. Lady Nadaline feinted back into his arms, her large full figure causing the mayor to crumple to the floor. The band was just hitting "sway as we kiss, sway as we kiss" when it suddenly stopped. Before them stood a large naked Nord with a sword in hand and the look of death in his eye. The wood elf was worse, and just as naked, as she was crawling to grab a bow, her rear high in the air and bare as Akatosh created her.

Krist stood there with his sword, ready to fight, when he realized this was not their intent. He was still angry though, trying to figure out why they went to such trouble just to embarrass him and Belwin.


The things people do.

Krist

Spur of the moment story coming off the heels of a longer story I wrote. Let me know what you think! It kind of wrote itself, so shamefully, it actually made ME laugh.

menedhyn

Brilliant, I wasn't expecting that ending! Loved the bit of political satire at the start too. So easy to draw comparisons...

Krist

I don't normally bump, but was kind of proud of this story that just pretty much wrote itself. I wont be perpetually bumping it, and will be writing new stuff instead.

Lariana

Haha, nice job! Something like that happening is certainly a genuine concern