I want "LOL" badges ^^

Liquid_Time

I am here to collect badges. Yes.. Badges. Here is one of my favorite jokes.

---Magic Window---

Two guys are sitting at a bar.

"You know why I love this bar?" asks the first one.

"No," says the second guy. "Why do you love this bar?"

The first guy points at the window, which is six stories above the ground. "It has a magic window," he says. "You jump out of that window, and you can fly."

The second guy just shakes his head. "Shut up."

"No," says the first guy. "It really is a magic window. I'll prove it to you."

So the first guy gets down from his bar stool, runs at the window, jumps out of it, and flies. He flies around the building twice, up and down, and finally comes back in. He walks to his barstool, and takes a sip of his drink. "See?" he says.

The first guy looks confused. He looks at his drink. "I must be drunk," he says.

"Still don't believe me?" asks the second guy. "I'll show you again." He gets down from his stool, runs and jumps out of the window again. This time he performs some impressive aerial acrobatics, spins, flips, dives. When he finally comes back in, the second guy is staring at him, slack-jawed.

"Wow," says the second guy. "A magic window." He gets off his barstool, takes a running jump out of the window, and promptly plummets to his death. The first guy starts laughing.

The bartender comes over to the first guy with a stern look on his face. "Superman, you're a real *** when you're drunk."

--
Yes it is safe to hit that "LOL" button.
Enjoy

cjmarsh725b14_ESO

Wasn't that funny. Still hit the LOL.

Tarwin

Whoops hit insightful .. my bad

Naguur86

I know this joke and I think it's funny too so I it will be my pleasure to hit that "Agree"-Button.

Reignskream

Liquid_Time wrote: »

I am here to collect badges. Yes.. Badges. Here is one of my favorite jokes.

---Magic Window---

Two guys are sitting at a bar.

"You know why I love this bar?" asks the first one.

"No," says the second guy. "Why do you love this bar?"

The first guy points at the window, which is six stories above the ground. "It has a magic window," he says. "You jump out of that window, and you can fly."

The second guy just shakes his head. "Shut up."

"No," says the first guy. "It really is a magic window. I'll prove it to you."

So the first guy gets down from his bar stool, runs at the window, jumps out of it, and flies. He flies around the building twice, up and down, and finally comes back in. He walks to his barstool, and takes a sip of his drink. "See?" he says.

The first guy looks confused. He looks at his drink. "I must be drunk," he says.

"Still don't believe me?" asks the second guy. "I'll show you again." He gets down from his stool, runs and jumps out of the window again. This time he performs some impressive aerial acrobatics, spins, flips, dives. When he finally comes back in, the second guy is staring at him, slack-jawed.

"Wow," says the second guy. "A magic window." He gets off his barstool, takes a running jump out of the window, and promptly plummets to his death. The first guy starts laughing.

The bartender comes over to the first guy with a stern look on his face. "Superman, you're a real *** when you're drunk."

--
Yes it is safe to hit that "LOL" button.
Enjoy

I agree.

UrQuan

That's not funny, that's how my dad died!

Ackwalan

BADGES!!! We don't need no stinking badges hahahaha

Alpha_Protocol

We need a better selection of buttons.

Liquid_Time

Well here is one for @cjmarsh725b14_ESO then.

Another favorite.

3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached your destination". The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said "Thank you". The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The 3rd guy replied, "Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

cjmarsh725b14_ESO

Ok, that one earned the LOL.

Lodestar

Heard that first one before, still gave you the LOL for it though. Second one was good too.

A boy is sitting on a park bench, and takes out a large 200g bar of chocolate, and eats it quick as he can. He then, takes out another and snarfs it, followed by a third.

He pulls out a forth and opens it, when an elderly man walks up to him and asks him.

"Why are you eating all that chocolate like that? Don't you know how bad that is for your health?"

The boy replies "My grandfather lived to 106 years old".

The man asks "Did he eat chocolate like that"?

"No" answered the boy "He minded his own business".

Edit: Typo

Aeradon

Lodestar wrote: »

Heard that first one before, still gave you the LOL for it though. Second one was good too.

A boy is sitting on a park bench, and takes out a large 200g bar of chocolate, and eats it quick as he can. He then, takes out another and snarfs it, followed by a third.

He pulls out a forth and opens it, when an elderly man walks up to him and asks him.

"Why are you eating all that chocolate like that? Don't you know how bad that is for your health?"

The boy replies "My grandfather lived to 106 years old".

The man asks "Did he eat chocolate like that"?

"No" answered the boy "He minded his own business".

Edit: Typo

+1 Insightful.

OP you has to edit your first and second guy. Or am I drunk?

Joke for matured readers only.

A cucumber, a pickle, and a *** are sitting at a bar complaining about their lives.

The cucumber mumbles, "My life sucks. I'm put in salads, and, to top them off, they pour ranch dressing all over me. It's so disgusting I wanna k.."

The pickle cuts him off, "That's nothing compared to my life. I'm put in vinegar and stored away for months, completely out of sight. Man, my life is boring as h.."

The *** was enraged, "What are you guys complaining about?! My life is so messed up that I feel like shooting myself. They constantly wrap me in a plastic bag, shove me in a cave, and make me do push-ups until I throw up!"

Liquid_Time

@Aeradon
Keep them appropriate
Also.. I would have to guess that you are drunk..

Lodestar

An elderly man walks into a catholic church and and requests the Priests attention. He tells him.

"Father I am 91 years old, and have been faithful to my wife of 70 years. Last night I met a beautiful 19 year old woman and slept with her".

The priest says "That is terrible, when was the last time you went to confession"?

The old man replies "I have never been to confession Father".

"You never been to confession"? The priest responds in shock".

"No, I am Jewish". Answers the old man.

"The priest then vexed asks "Why are you telling me this then"?

To which the old man replied "Are you kidding me? I am telling everyone".

AlexDougherty

Ackwalan wrote: »

BADGES!!! We don't need no stinking badges hahahaha

Hey teachers leave them kids alone.
All we are is another brick in the wall.

Lodestar

This thread go down? Thought it may get some momentum.

Well not something I can claim credit for, but as I am here I will share this I find funny. The birth of the kilt

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YQIA_FEe3o

Liquid_Time

I think it was bumped to the bottom, so no one would see it on the first page. Meh