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Farewell to our brother in arms

jrfk2
jrfk2
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Making friends online is a double edged sword .. it allows some level of privacy but then when an online friend disappears you are left without really knowing what happened.

Such is the case with our friend Jed .. we first met playing Fallout 76 but when that petered out, a bunch of us moved to ESO, and four of us became a close group (The coffee and murder club we called ourselves) that spent years adventuring and tackling dungeons. Spending that time together in ESO got us all through COVID and we four became close friends.

Jed was our glass cannon .. could dish out a lot of damage but usually was the first one to die in a battle. Jed brought a few quirks to his battles .. first off he was in his 70s so admittedly his reactions were a bit slower, plus he only ever played in first person so he'd sometimes miss NPCs or AOEs behind him .. and to top things off, he was color blind! Despite that he was a great team mate and got us through quite a few scrapes.

Our team of four spent a lot of time going after harder and harder dungeons, sometimes taking a few tries to finally overcome that last boss to share that exhilaration, and some dungeons we never did quite conquer. I was the tank, so was usually singularly focused on the boss, but knew when Jed would go down when I'd hear his "uhh". Luckily our healer was great at herding us cats and generally was there to revive him.

Jed was our "resident Brit curmudgeon", he'd sometimes irritate people when he'd get in a "discussion" about stuff, but he never meant any ill will. I think it was a bit of a badge of honor that he got banned from the ESO forums a couple times. He'd remind me that us Americans were the ones with the accent since they (the Brits) had been speaking the English language longer. So I'd be sure to practice my pronunciation of "aluminum", "methane", "schedule", and "beta".

Jed's character had attained grand master crafter and he was always willing to help others out in game. He'd log in every day to do his writs, dig up some treasure maps, and kick about if others were around as well.

But our friend fell ill .. and then fell silent .. he hasn't been online in our discord server and he hasn't logged into ESO in awhile now .. and we miss him dearly.

If you have read this far, perhaps I can ask a favor ... Jed was rightfully proud of how he decorated his sweetwater cascades house, and it's still his primary residence. Perhaps the next time you log in, you could go into home tours and search on "jedt" to find his house, stop in to visit his masterpiece, and perhaps recommend it as a way to help us say goodbye to a team mate, a friend, and a brother in arms.

  • jrfk2
    jrfk2
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    Props to JHartEllis .. he was streaming ESO and planned to do some house visits, so i asked if he could visit my late friend's house. and he kindly obliged.

    If you want to see his tour of the house, it's at 2:19:50 in:
  • ArchMikem
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    Hate to be that guy, but do you know his status for certain? Cause all you mentioned is he became sick, and hasn't logged back on in a while.
    CP2,100 Master Explorer - AvA Two Star Warlord - Console Peasant - Khajiiti Aficionado - The Clan
    Quest Objective: OMG Go Talk To That Kitty!
  • shadyjane62
    shadyjane62
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    Thank you for this post. I immediately logged in and checked out that house. It is truly gorgeous. The attention detail is incredible and it is well balanced. Not too much stuff crammed in, just a beautiful rendition of the best of decorating.


    I truly hope things are better in future but to have known such a person is a treasure.
    Edited by shadyjane62 on April 19, 2025 10:36PM
  • randconfig
    randconfig
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    ArchMikem wrote: »
    Hate to be that guy, but do you know his status for certain? Cause all you mentioned is he became sick, and hasn't logged back on in a while.

    Yeah, the social engineering and fake story content has gotten out of control all across the internet... I also feel cynical and skeptical, like I'm signing a contract with Mora:
    1. Choose to just believe it's real since it doesn't harm me to just visit the house to honor their friend's memory; however, I am wrong and the result is I reward people for making fake stories that exploit my empathy for clout...
    2. Choose to not believe it's real and ignore; however, I am wrong and the result is the friend's feel even worse about the absence of their friend and the apathy of the community...

    What has the internet and "social" media done to us.... 😭
  • jrfk2
    jrfk2
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    ArchMikem wrote: »
    Hate to be that guy, but do you know his status for certain? Cause all you mentioned is he became sick, and hasn't logged back on in a while.

    Unfortunately we only knew him by his handle, so searching obits, which we have been doing, is kinda futile .. two of us may have been the last to ever speak with him .. he was in his 70s and had injured himself and was weak from lack of sleep .. then caught the norovirus and the medicine was making him ill such he could barely eat .. then he stopped logging into ESO and our discord server. That was nearly a month ago now .. he always logged in every day to ESO to do writs and dig up some maps ..

    Yes there is a slight possibility he has had a prolonged illness and is still recovering .. but with each day our hope that is the case further dwindles ..

    I'm not making this up or trying to fool anyone .. I would love to come back with egg on my face to say we heard our dear friend's voice again ..
  • jrfk2
    jrfk2
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    jrfk2 wrote: »
    Props to JHartEllis .. he was streaming ESO and planned to do some house visits, so i asked if he could visit my late friend's house. and he kindly obliged.

    If you want to see his tour of the house, it's at 2:19:50 1:33 in:


  • Desiato
    Desiato
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    Kudos to you for being such a good friend.

    Though I'm of a different generation of your friend, I'm in a couple of guilds with a lot of players almost half my age and I really appreciate that they include me in their activities. I think what you and your group gave to Jed was more special than you can possibly imagine.
    spending a year dead for tax reasons
  • TaSheen
    TaSheen
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    Oh, I believe you. Some long time gaming friends connect on a forum I run (friends of 20 years, some of them; the rest are from Skyrim release), and one of our guys was diabetic, AND had a wife with a terminal cancer diagnosis. He was with us for many years, and then his wife died. He was disconsolate. He didn't take care of his own medical needs, and one day we realized he hadn't logged in for a week.

    I knew some personal info about him, and for months I searched the obits in the area he'd claimed as "home". About 3 months later, I started broadening my searches.... and there he was. He outlived his wife only 10 days, and we had not known.

    It's a horrible feeling, that had we known how to reach him, perhaps we could have helped him survive. So we renamed our forum in his honor, AND the rest of us have traded emergency contacts in case of something similar. There are two of us in our late 70s, and several people with serious health issues. It's a truly awful feeling to realize that someone you've never met IRL but have known and loved for years has gone missing.... permanently.

    I wish you heart's ease, and I do hold out hope that he is perhaps just recovering from a serious illness. Be well, and my best wishes to you.
    ______________________________________________________

    "But even in books, the heroes make mistakes, and there isn't always a happy ending." Mercedes Lackey, Into the West

    PC NA, PC EU (non steam)- four accounts, many alts....
  • 16BitForestCat
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    jrfk2 wrote: »
    Unfortunately we only knew him by his handle, so searching obits, which we have been doing, is kinda futile ..

    If you do find more real-life information to look him up, I wanted to add that it can take a really long time for obituaries to show up online. I know the exact date my childhood ex-best friend's grandmother died in Honolulu in 2018 (hate the ex-best friend for being abusive trash; still loved his grandma), but her obituary didn't turn up online until fourteen months after her death. I know people say they enjoy a slower pace of life in Hawai'i, but come on!

    More recently, I had an old (and elderly) online friend pass away in New Jersey in spring 2021. We knew exactly when he'd died because he ran our online hangout spot, and the mods were all in contact with each other in case something happened to any of them. His obituary didn't show up online till sometime in the following fall.

    I do hope your friend is okay, wherever he is.
    —PC/NA, never Steam—
    Getting lost in TESO Tamriel and beyond since Beta 2013!
    Alliance agnostic: all factions should chill the fetch out and party together.
    If you ever wonder why certain official fandom spaces are so often toxic and awful, remember: corruption starts from the top. ^^v
  • Reginald_leBlem
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    I've had a couple of people vanish. It’s always hard when it's someone you play with a lot, and it's out of the blue. A couple people turned up after prolonged hospitalization and in one case, jail.
    One guy with serious health issues bullied a relative into playing eso... when he finally became too sick to play we got updates, and we were informed when he passed. His relative stopped playing after, but I don't blame them a bit.
    I hope your friend turns up, and has a perfectly sensible reason for his absence
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