Uh the fear pillar is a pain point and too rng prompt in my opinion too. Either learn to get the f*** out of it by her animation (she looks at the person she fears and has a distinct animation, similar to sorc summoning a matriarch) or use immovable (the heavy armor skill). The death to the heavy attack was on you (even though so many adds is nasty).

Essentially everyone were dying there regardless of role (even when you were alive) so I have no idea how they can blame it on the tank. But ye, pugs can be funny. I had a dd in vDoM telling me I die on first boss because I don't stay with the group. I am a shiny ball of lightning that said in chat to follow him. I told him, np, you lead the way. He left when we had 6 adds on us.