A reminder to be kind to each other

DragonRacer

Something happened in the game tonight that honestly knocked the breath out of me and it served as an incredibly humbling reminder of the impact we can have on each other, even online on "just a video game".

I make this post in the hopes that it will touch even just a few to think about how they interact with others - here, in the game, and elsewhere in life.

I am a bit addicted to Tales of Tribute, though it is very love and hate. Before half the people who hate or couldn't care less about ToT bounce: this post isn't specifically about ToT, though that was the vehicle for this interaction. It just as well could have been a PUG group dungeon or even just a random WB encounter. Stay with me here.

I go on occasional winning streaks and far more losing streaks in ranked competitive. I was on such a losing streak yesterday and logged in tonight thinking "just one match and we'll see how it goes". I queue for ranked competitive and have a very good and competitive match with a random I'd not played before. I finally broke my winless streak and was quite stoked about it. It wasn't a terribly overhanded win or anything, as the opponent had been competitive enough for my level of play at this point.

After the game, I was in one of my houses and catching up on guild chats when I receive a whisper from the person I'd just beaten. They told me good game and that they aren't very good at it.

That kinda broke my heart. I don't want anyone to feel badly about themselves over a literal game within a video game. I whispered back telling them good game as well, not to put themselves down like that, and that we all had to start somewhere and I still lose more often than I win. Keep at it. And sometimes some players will RNG into all the good cards and that's more luck than skill on anyone's part.

We bid each other good night and I went on my way to group with a guildmate and knock out some High Isle dailies. I had my one win and felt good, so quit while you're ahead, right?

10 minutes later, I get a PSN message from a name I do not know. As it turns out, it was the parent of my opponent. Now, I know this game is rated M so it turns out technically my opponent should not have been on it, but most of us are likely adults here and we can winkwinknudgenudge knowing not every person playing this game, or any other M-rated game, is 18+.

They had this to say to me about the interaction I had unwittingly had with their 13-year-old son and it left me absolutely floored and humbled:





Y'all, it was a simple "keep your spirits up" whisper to a worthy opponent that I thought nothing of until I received that message. And I share it here not to toot my own horn (though I am sure some will think that, and that's okay), but as a reminder to us ALL that - especially in an online environment be it here, social media, or a video game - we do not truly know who we are interacting with on the other side of that screen. And that the things we say to them and the actions we take can potentially have an impact on them - for better or for worse - and that the power is yours to decide to be a force for good or a troll with that power.

Some won't care, and that's okay, too. We are all individuals with free will to do as we feel drawn. But if there was one thing I'd like to impart on our eclectic ESO community, especially here at the holidays, is to choose kindness. It costs you nothing and could mean more than you'll ever know to someone else. Choose kindness.

Keyca

Dragon, that’s wonderful that you could
Make the kid’s day!

TaSheen

Okay, you made me cry. That's - a wonderful beginning to my favorite time of year - and now I feel truly in the spirit. Bless you, and may all your dreams come true.

[And now husband is giving me "that look". Ah well, there's always a Scrooge, ain't?]

Paulytnz

Nice story, takes me back to the good/bad old days of playing Runescape 20 years ago. It CAN be just the smallest/simplest things you can do or say that can have a big effect on someone else - of course that can go both ways.

All I can say is just keep doing you and remember what goes around comes around, that's how I always look at it lol - believer in karma and all that.

SilverBride

What a wonderful story and lesson that is. Thank you for reminding us just how powerful words can be.

BretonMage

Thank you for sharing this story, I loved it so much. I love that you were encouraging to him, I love that he felt it deeply, and I love that his mother messaged you back. There are so many amazing people in the world. And now you've made me cry, lol.

Elsonso

Great story! Thanks for sharing!

propertyOfUndefined

I really enjoyed your post! Thanks for taking the time to compose it as well as you did!

Savina

A Katharine Hepburn quote....

“Kindness is one of the greatest gifts you can bestow upon another. If someone is in need, lend them a helping hand. Do not wait for a thank you. True kindness lies within the act of giving without expectation of something in return.”

Thank you for sharing such a touching story! Kindness changes everything!

SeaGtGruff

That was a great outcome to a random act of kindness. Good on you!

spartaxoxo

That's a pretty heartwarming story. 🎄🎄Thanks for sharing.

Supreme_Atromancer

Sadly, ESO still has a degree of this unfortunate social baggage of old-school MMO culture; "harden tf up". "if you don't like it, you don't belong in an MMO, brah."

No one in an MMO is *hard*.

Keep being the sort of people that makes Tamriel worth being in. It counts.

DreamyLu

However, this story highlights one problem I regularly witness in this game (same in other game): although the game is 18+, there are many kids behind keyboards, especially over the weekend.

Wolfkeks

Thank you for sharing this story. It shows how important kindness and compassion is 🧡

endgamesmug

Awesome! Yeah i just go with treat people the way youd like to be treated=easy😀. And if its a bad interaction wish them the best and add them to the ignore list 😆

Aelorin

To the OP: I really love this story, and will follow your advice

I actually decided to be less on the forums because of so much negativity here. We need more posts like this, and more people like you and those 2 others.

Soraka

🥲 dang onions...
What a good reminder, thank you for sharing.

Jaimeh

DragonRacer wrote: »

Y'all, it was a simple "keep your spirits up" whisper to a worthy opponent that I thought nothing of until I received that message. And I share it here not to toot my own horn (though I am sure some will think that, and that's okay), but as a reminder to us ALL that - especially in an online environment be it here, social media, or a video game - we do not truly know who we are interacting with on the other side of that screen. And that the things we say to them and the actions we take can potentially have an impact on them - for better or for worse - and that the power is yours to decide to be a force for good or a troll with that power.

This ^ You never know in what state of mind a player might be so a few kind words (or on the flipside, a few bad words) can have a bigger impact than you can imagine. It's easy to lose patience, to mock, to get angry in a video game, but we have to try and be kinder, sometimes even kinder than we feel, to other players. Anyway, thank you for sharing this story, it's a good lesson and it was very heartwarming.

wazzz56

awesome, small gestures can have big impacts... gg

ForumBully

Great story. Always be kind until someone deserves otherwise; after they do that, be absent.

AngryLorekeeper

This is a great story, thank you for sharing it! The game needs more people like you in it!

ZOS_Kevin

Thanks for sharing this story, @DragonRacer. And thank you for showing kindness in-game. We never know who is on the other side or what they may be going through. Simple acts of kindness can go a long way in helping foster positive community and we appreciate any building toward this effort.

Destai

What a good story, thanks for sharing! Being kind always helps, so many of us go to games to escape from the harshness of life, and I'm sure there's always opportunities to brighten someone's day.

TaSheen

Y'know, on further reflection, I give that mom a lot of credit for parenting. Her son is apparently comfortable sharing with her things that happen in game, and considering the lack of parenting I see around here on a daily basis, that bit of interaction reported to a stranger in a game is pretty remarkable.

You go too Mom!

Feljax

As a father of two young boys, this touched me. I hope to instill the same kindness and humility in them. Thanks for sharing.

BaalMelqartu

I wish my random normals grouped me with people like you more often!

TaMmEh

Its often such small acts of kindness that have the biggest impact. I often whisper thank you and gg! if I lose or win cause you just never know what that person is going through on the other side. Im appreciative of the time they give me as I thoroughly enjoy playing TOT or doing world bosses or dungeons with other players - everything else Im usually solo running it. So positive interactions with the player base mean so much to me.

I too wish there were more like you, it doesnt take much and can make someones day. Thanks for sharing and being a good human

Carcamongus

It goes to show how dark the world (and, I guess, myself) can indeed be that as I was reading the OP, I was expecting censored expletives at any moment. The parent's message took me by surprise and I of course agree with everyone else that the poster did absolutely great.

DragonRacer

Carcamongus wrote: »

It goes to show how dark the world (and, I guess, myself) can indeed be that as I was reading the OP, I was expecting censored expletives at any moment. The parent's message took me by surprise and I of course agree with everyone else that the poster did absolutely great.

By the same token, I honestly expected my post to receive at minimum one snarky or negative commentary because Internet, but everyone has responded in exactly the sort of way I’d hoped and wanted. Very happy!

Rogue_WolfESO

I frequently give and receive "good fights! Gg" or similar whispers to others in pvp. Most people are pretty cool 😎
The other night in a particularly busy tri-faction battle, I was locked in a 1vx with another player going at it, when we both got wiped by a different faction group. Basically, our players ended up dead right beside each other. The player messaged me "so....hows your night going? Lol" and we had a 10 min conversation dead on the door.
Its the little things that make the game great 👍

Jordan_Black

What a sweet story :-)