In 5 years of playing I have no friends to play with, can someone explain how to make friends?

Nyladreas

The title might seem like a troll post, but I'm genuinely curious how does one make friends in this game. In 5 years i haven't made any friends to regularly play with, I havent met people that would be interested in grouping up, I haven't as a result quite enjoyed this game as much as I'd like to.

What am I supposed to do, in order to make friends here? What are people looking for? What are people interested in? I'm generally a very likeable, social person IRL. Ingame though I feel strange, awkward when talking to people, I can't really tell when people want to hang out and hang around or when people just add you for whatever reason of "need" they have (thats all of my friendlist - people that I either trade with or they want something from me). And I've never had this problem before - I played WoW since vanilla up until legion, and always had someone to talk to or do things with. The strangest thing to me is that I'm generally friendly, helping, and trying to teach people (only if they ask for it). What's up with ESO?

Lately I've been constantly facing reponses of the kind - put/get a group together, play with friends, play with guild. Well how? lol.

The guilds are probably the worst I've ever experienced. There's constant radio silence, noone ever responds to anything, noone ever answers questions or helps out. And I've been probably through over 100 different guilds by now. Do I have to just be glued to their discords or how do people actually interact these days?

I'm honestly and genuinely confused.

xXMeowMeowXx

Guilds are only good if they are active and sociable....

Join some and see how people are in guild chat about grouping up. If you get no response for a few days then join another ( Also, make sure to join their discord and ask for guild activity times.)

Another way which is more to the point, is to get your irl friends and family addicted to this beautiful mess called ESO. They get 500 crowns for creating an account and you get friends >_>

My friends come from PvP/ Guilds / Vet Content / Irl

I met my irl bf after I killed him in Cyro.

Cx, ESO is a great place for friends.

Good luck OP

Please if you can, update how things are going in a week or two!!

Wrekkedd

xXMeowMeowXx wrote: »

Guilds are only good if they are active and sociable....

Join some and see how people are in guild chat about grouping up. If you get no response for a few days then join another ( Also, make sure to join their discord and ask for guild activity times.)

Another way which is more to the point, is to get your irl friends and family addicted to this beautiful mess called ESO. They get 500 crowns for creating an account and you get friends >_>

My friends come from PvP/ Guilds / Vet Content / Irl

I met my irl bf after I killed him in Cyro.

Cx, ESO is a great place for friends.

Good luck OP

Please if you can, update how things are going in a week or two!!

"Cx" lul

Dragonnord

1 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Present yourself with your name or username. They will say hi. Talk.

2 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. This time they will say hi using your name or username. Talk.

You are getting known...

3 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. They remember you this time. Talk.

You are known now...

4 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected. Behave as you do IRL to make friends.

Done, you have your first friends now.
 

taylorwilenskiub17_ESO

Nyladreas wrote: »

The title might seem like a troll post, but I'm genuinely curious how does one make friends in this game. In 5 years i haven't made any friends to regularly play with, I havent met people that would be interested in grouping up, I haven't as a result quite enjoyed this game as much as I'd like to.

What am I supposed to do, in order to make friends here? What are people looking for? What are people interested in? I'm generally a very likeable, social person IRL. Ingame though I feel strange, awkward when talking to people, I can't really tell when people want to hang out and hang around or when people just add you for whatever reason of "need" they have (thats all of my friendlist - people that I either trade with or they want something from me). And I've never had this problem before - I played WoW since vanilla up until legion, and always had someone to talk to or do things with. The strangest thing to me is that I'm generally friendly, helping, and trying to teach people (only if they ask for it). What's up with ESO?

Lately I've been constantly facing reponses of the kind - put/get a group together, play with friends, play with guild. Well how? lol.

The guilds are probably the worst I've ever experienced. There's constant radio silence, noone ever responds to anything, noone ever answers questions or helps out. And I've been probably through over 100 different guilds by now. Do I have to just be glued to their discords or how do people actually interact these days?

I'm honestly and genuinely confused.

OP, I felt the exact same way and still do to a degree. It is rather odd that it seems so difficult to get genuine friends to play with. In WoW Classic everyone wanted to group (mostly because they had to) but it was fun. With ESO a lot of content is solo'able which I think is the problem.

Anyways, I found a pretty great guild you may be interested in. They run a ton of events every week so you can always get a group for dungeons, raids, pvp, overland, etc. Guild chat is active enough and so is discord.

http://www.vanquishguild.com/

I just convinced a RL friend to download the game too so I'm hoping he likes it cause I would rather have somebody I know in RL Play with me lol.

ArchMikem

That's pretty much it, Guilds are the Highschool cliques of ESO, find one, join, introduce and start chatting. When people ask for roles in dungeons, volunteer, then chit chat in said dungeons. They are hit and miss though. Ive gone through two social guilds, both had nice people, but one slowly developed an "inner circle" that excluded everyone else, and the second had an emotional drunk of a guild master.

I've tried finding another like a PvP or Trading guild, but i've stopped trying to fit into groups. I'm always going to be solo, way less drama that way.

Starlock

There's a couple ways to do it.

Method one is simple good fortune. I had the happenstance of joining a very good and active social guild a couple years ago. It wasn't advertised as a social guild, but as a trading guild. As someone whose sole source of gold income at the time was questing (and that doesn't net you a lot of gold, folks) I had no idea how I was supposed to afford dues every week. This guild ran money making events to help players afford their dues, and the event had a strong social component. I'm not a socializer by nature, but this guild broke me out of my usual introverted shell. I did activities I never would have touched otherwise and even started running events myself.

That brings me to method to, which is to start cultivating social connections yourself. After I got used to running events in this other guild, I would sometimes just start random events with random people in various zones. If I wanted to run world boss dailies, I would just start organizing a group. I never had trouble finding people and had some fun interactions when doing it. Of course, it's maybe different on console. We have voice chat built in, so if people start chatting in group chat and you break the ice, folks just start chatting in general. It makes it a lot easier than it probably is on Mac/PC where you are forced to use third-party methods that not everybody who joins your group necessarily has.

Nestor

Guilds are probably the best solution for you.

Now, unlike the early days of WOW, Guilds in this game are a much easier proposition. You can join up to 5, you can leave a guild at anytime with no repercussions.

Some guilds are hardcore, some are super casual. Try one out and see.

MurderMostFoul

Making friends...

Just be cool...but not like COOL-cool, more like cooooool...

Oh, but don't try to be cool, that's not cool...

And you can't care about being cool since it's uncool...

Simple.

Cool?

Nyladreas

Dragonnord wrote: »

1 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Present yourself with your name or username. They will say hi. Talk.

2 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. This time they will say hi using your name or username. Talk.

You are getting known...

3 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. They remember you this time. Talk.

You are known now...

4 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected. Behave as you do IRL to make friends.

Done, you have your first friends now.
 

What if voice is something I don't do though?

mobicera

If voice is something you don't do you are creating a hurdle for yourself to pass.
It will be much easier with voice comms if you wish to create a lasting gaming friendship...
Other than that the only advice I can give is join that random group in one of your chats...
It could go anywhere...

Eclipse0990

1. Play ESO
2. FInd issues like crash, lags, bugs
3. Come to forums and rage with like-minded people
4. Now you have "friends"

Or just join good social guilds in game and play alongside others. If you PvP on a particular faction, then join a guild on that faction. Helping others out is one of the best way of getting to know people and make friends

WreckfulAbandon

Since I play with irl friends typically (although most have left over the years) most of the friends I've made in game took the initiative to send a tell after seeing me in Cyro or a BG. A couple actually started off by sending hate tells, but def wouldn't call that the best tactic to make friends. Lol.

DMuehlhausen

The hard part is most guilds post how sociable they are. I'm sure they are with the longer running members or people that are always signing up and doing raids.

Otherwise I have a very hard time just getting responses in guild chat for anything. I think most stick to responding and setting stuff up in discord channels, but that is really annoying to tab out of the game and post in discord then go back, and have to keep switching back and forth checking.

Yes they all have voice channels, but nobody is sitting in the channel so trying to talk doesn't do much.

Ksariyu

Unfortunately, I can only say I understand where you're coming from. Having played this game on and off since beta, I still haven't met a single person who I've talked to more than twice.
Sad as it is, this is one of the most antisocial MMOs on the market, primarily due to the fact that there are quite literally no activities outside of RP that encourage communication. Even trials, most of the time you're silent as the leader just tells everyone what to do. Group content is mostly high-level characters burning through everything, and solo content for the most part is so beyond easy that it actually feels detrimental to group (Not to mention the terrible quest sharing mechanics).
Guilds, even those that are considered "social," are really just glorified LFG groups for trials and vets, but moreover the problem is unless you've been in that guild since the beginning, you're already out of the cliques (This is a very clique-y game) so you're always going to be an outcast there too.
IRL friends can be a good option IF this is their type of game, but I imagine the fact you're here asking about making friends means you, like me, probably don't know anyone who actually cares to play the game. Which sucks, because as we all know from past MMOs, it's the friendships that make you actually want to stay.
Anyway, best of luck. Hopefully you meet some people soon, either on here or in game.

furiouslog

I'm in a very social and active guild. Constant activity in Discord, social events and trials pretty much every day, and we are always grouping for various stuff. if you are interested, pm @furiouslog in game.

Sylvermynx

I would second the recommend for joining Vanquish. I'm not a member (as I'm not social at all - this and another forum are as social as I EVER get), but a good friend IRL is, and he started out this game just wanting to play solo. Then he discovered pvp, got rekt a lot at first, and then got asked to join Vanquish.

He's now doing really well (when pvp is playable - which it isn't right now, so he's dabbling in GW2), and is quite social with the other guildies. Another friend of ours is also a member, but right now she doesn't have much in the way of connection so isn't on a lot.

It seems to be a very friendly, really great social type guild with lots of events, lots of members, and plenty to do all the time - and they do generally have a guild trader.

JKorr

Nyladreas wrote: »

Dragonnord wrote: »

1 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Present yourself with your name or username. They will say hi. Talk.

2 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. This time they will say hi using your name or username. Talk.

You are getting known...

3 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. They remember you this time. Talk.

You are known now...

4 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected. Behave as you do IRL to make friends.

Done, you have your first friends now.
 

What if voice is something I don't do though?

Voice isn't required for a lot of guilds. I don't like using voice at all; I see no reason to make other people listen to me yell at my cats [who seem to wait to schedule their mayhem until I'm playing] or hear whatever I have playing in the background. I can still group to do stuff that doesn't require a lot of explanation; like world bosses/anchors/public dungeons. I offer crafting help to new members and generally lurk about. I can use voice [if the cats haven't chewed apart the microphone cable...again], but most of the time I'd rather not.

TheRealCherokeee3

Nyladreas wrote: »

Dragonnord wrote: »

1 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Present yourself with your name or username. They will say hi. Talk.

2 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. This time they will say hi using your name or username. Talk.

You are getting known...

3 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. They remember you this time. Talk.

You are known now...

4 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected. Behave as you do IRL to make friends.

Done, you have your first friends now.
 

What if voice is something I don't do though?

Then that's an emergent sign as to why possibly you've had troubles. Many casual aspects of the game are fine if you stick to in game text. But more often than not, if you join dungeons and trials, voice communication tends to be a near necessity. That often was one of the number one reasons people in my past guild were often excluded in some content. Granted it was adequately advertised ahead of time everyone needed to be on mic if they joined. Many times, however, you can get away with this by at least joining chat so you can hear call outs and follow. You did mention always having someone to talk to in vanilla WoW. But I guess that meant via text rather than voice? Like others said, ESO guilds can be a bit of a social trainwreck lol. But some are pretty great communication wise. By now you've probably had a handful of guild invites and or suggestions after making this post. If you want yet another then i'd be happy to extend my guild too.

Magenpie

Hi OP - I'm sort of having the same problem and I sympthise, but I haven't played consistently for as long as you. I know I should apply to a couple of guilds to solve the issue but although I'm friendly (I think?) I'm not wildly sociable these days and I don't really want to deal with coms or Discord. I'm so oooooooooold (ish!) So I never quite get round to it. In game, I say hello and thank you, and indulge in some communal emote silliness occasionally, but that's about it.

To my shame, I've played on and off since the closed beta, and although I did a couple of dungeons waaaaay back when, I don't think I've set foot in any since the first year. I'm sure they're marvellous!

I'd love to know if/when you find a good guild - the Guild Finder is a little like trawling through the yellow pages - how can you tell!??? x) Keep us posted. ^^

max_only

For the first couple years I didn’t talk to anyone. Didn’t do any dungeons until 500 cp and I started playing right around the time cp was first introduced.

Then I joined Lone Wolf Help. A guild specifically for solo players who need a group sometimes. Then I joined in on their weekly world boss night. That’s how I made friends. One step at a time. Slowly. With low exposure.

However I don’t have anyone in my friends list because it annoys me when I send or receive a ton of “logged in/logged out” messages during crafting/minion mail gathering.

max_only

Nyladreas wrote: »

Dragonnord wrote: »

1 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Present yourself with your name or username. They will say hi. Talk.

2 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. This time they will say hi using your name or username. Talk.

You are getting known...

3 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. They remember you this time. Talk.

You are known now...

4 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected. Behave as you do IRL to make friends.

Done, you have your first friends now.
 

What if voice is something I don't do though?

Listening to discord is more important than replying in discord.
People who use controllers find it very difficult to type and play. Even more difficult if they are leading events. We have a regular few who never speak but they reply to our voice questions with in game chat.

oxygen_thief

i dont have friends either but prefer to play alone so if you dont have friends then i guess you dont need them.

Chicharron

I also have 5 years playing and I have no friends and I'm not interested in having friends in ESO.

My friends are real, I see them every Friday at the Bar.

The way I see things everything that moves in ESO is an npc.

Watchdog

There are many good social guilds. I joined the Alith Legion soon after I had started playing in the summer of 2018, and it was the best thing I could have done in ESO.

This is the link to our website: https://www.alithlegion.com/index.php

JKorr

oxygen_thief wrote: »

i dont have friends either but prefer to play alone so if you dont have friends then i guess you dont need them.

That's why a guild that acknowledges a lot of people like to play that way is a good idea. That guild Max mentioned above; no problem if you want to solo everything in the game, yet still there for help if/when you need it, whether for a quest, boss, or making custom gear to your requirements.

Nyladreas

DMuehlhausen wrote: »

The hard part is most guilds post how sociable they are. I'm sure they are with the longer running members or people that are always signing up and doing raids.

Otherwise I have a very hard time just getting responses in guild chat for anything. I think most stick to responding and setting stuff up in discord channels, but that is really annoying to tab out of the game and post in discord then go back, and have to keep switching back and forth checking.

Yes they all have voice channels, but nobody is sitting in the channel so trying to talk doesn't do much.

Exactly the same situation I'm in and how I feel. Everything just feels anti-social or barren.

Nyladreas

Ksariyu wrote: »

Unfortunately, I can only say I understand where you're coming from. Having played this game on and off since beta, I still haven't met a single person who I've talked to more than twice.
Sad as it is, this is one of the most antisocial MMOs on the market, primarily due to the fact that there are quite literally no activities outside of RP that encourage communication. Even trials, most of the time you're silent as the leader just tells everyone what to do. Group content is mostly high-level characters burning through everything, and solo content for the most part is so beyond easy that it actually feels detrimental to group (Not to mention the terrible quest sharing mechanics).
Guilds, even those that are considered "social," are really just glorified LFG groups for trials and vets, but moreover the problem is unless you've been in that guild since the beginning, you're already out of the cliques (This is a very clique-y game) so you're always going to be an outcast there too.
IRL friends can be a good option IF this is their type of game, but I imagine the fact you're here asking about making friends means you, like me, probably don't know anyone who actually cares to play the game. Which sucks, because as we all know from past MMOs, it's the friendships that make you actually want to stay.
Anyway, best of luck. Hopefully you meet some people soon, either on here or in game.

Yeah, unfortunately, none of my IRL friends really are into gaming, especially MMOs or RPGs. Most of em will play stuff like GTA or FIFA/NHL, or any racing games. I only have one friend who occasionally plays RPGs but she won't touch anything online so it's not an option for me.

Asardes

In my first 2 years I had some friends I played dungeons with regularly, but they took longer and longer breaks from the game till they probably left for good. If I see someone offline in my friends list for more than a couple of months I delete them. I have only 5-6 names there currently, and all but 2 of those added me in various contexts, for example after Group Finder dungeon or BG run. I'm in 4 trade guilds and I discuss with people there sometimes, though the scope of the discussion naturally revolves around what to sell, at what prices, when to sell etc. Besides that I was in a few PvE guilds on and off, did some DLC dungeons and trials but I didn't become attached on any of them.

In one guild I was part of a couple of years ago some people actually told me that I was too talkative, because I was asking many questions about builds, dungeon & trial mechanics and that sort of stuff so I decided to simply censor myself and talk as little as possible, only after exhausting all other available information sources. I think that was actually a good thing because I'm naturally very analytical and organized, so I put those talents to work when I decide to create builds and such, and only then ask for feedback.

I'm not "toxic" or anti-social, but for the last couple of years I've set the goal of developing every class twice, one magicka and one stamina and I do that at a very high pace, leaving very little time for socializing or more chilled activities like fishing and housing for example. Also the need to find people to do activities with diminished, as I became better at the game: most world bosses I solo, most dungeon farming runs I can carry. If a veteran DLC dungeon fails, I can give indications and if the group can't do it I leave it and find one that can - there's not any spite or resentment there, it's simply about moving on and getting the objective done. Once I'm done with the character development cycle I'm gonna find another guild or guilds to resume my trial progression.

So my advice is to find what you are interested in the game, then find a guild that is focused on that kind of activity.

Nyladreas

TheRealCherokeee3 wrote: »

Nyladreas wrote: »

Dragonnord wrote: »

1 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Present yourself with your name or username. They will say hi. Talk.

2 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. This time they will say hi using your name or username. Talk.

You are getting known...

3 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected or your guild has an event. Say hi to some using their names or usernames. They remember you this time. Talk.

You are known now...

4 - Enter your guild's Discord voice channels when you see the same people connected. Behave as you do IRL to make friends.

Done, you have your first friends now.
 

What if voice is something I don't do though?

Then that's an emergent sign as to why possibly you've had troubles. Many casual aspects of the game are fine if you stick to in game text. But more often than not, if you join dungeons and trials, voice communication tends to be a near necessity. That often was one of the number one reasons people in my past guild were often excluded in some content. Granted it was adequately advertised ahead of time everyone needed to be on mic if they joined. Many times, however, you can get away with this by at least joining chat so you can hear call outs and follow. You did mention always having someone to talk to in vanilla WoW. But I guess that meant via text rather than voice? Like others said, ESO guilds can be a bit of a social trainwreck lol. But some are pretty great communication wise. By now you've probably had a handful of guild invites and or suggestions after making this post. If you want yet another then i'd be happy to extend my guild too.

It was mostly text, yes. And it wasn't like 1 or 2 people, it was nearly a full friendlist of people. Only rarely would we meet on teamspeak and actually talk to each other over the mic. It has been like that up until Legion pretty much. There were only 2 people I knew in wow that I'd regularly voice with and they were actually in the game just as long as me and we've met IRL at some point. Also, I ended up dating one of them for a couple years. So voice just kinda naturally happened. Normally I stay away from voice, reasons being: People often get obnoxious on voice, and often there will be that one person that likes to get all the attention. And if you don't care about whatever reason they think makes them deserve this attention, you usually get treated bad. I heavily dislike that.

Speaking of purely raiding purposes. I don't mind joining those, but then those really only or mostly serve their purpose of leading, and rarely do people then seem interested in staying connected.

January1171

Honestly, while I've found some really great and friendly and wonderful guilds, it's Twitch streams that really helped me make friends.

Talking in chat during the stream, talking in their discord, and playing together in game. Have met some really great and friendly people that way who are super fun to play with

Personally I recommend the small-moderate streamers. Kyle Dempster, Gnarly Nate, Matygon, Loonaromi, Stabbity Doom, Real War Hamster are some off the top of my head that are pretty great.

Doomaflitchy is the stream/discord I spend the most time in. Lots of people to run content with, talk with, just really fun and welcoming and great (the in-game guild used to be called WoW refugees, although now Doom Army)