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Diary of the Pie King
Saucy_Jack
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Tirdas, 3rd day of Evening Star, 582 of the Second Era
I sit by my favourite window in my Grand Villa as I pen this, watching the waves lap against Artaeum - a literal sanctuary from the world to gather my thoughts. Mostly they're about pies; they're so delicious. Mmmm. Pies. Hold on a minute.
I sit by my favourite window in my Grand Villa as I eat delicious pie, watching the waves lap against Artaeum - a literal sanctuary from the world to gather my thoughts. They are less about pie now, and more about the events that transpired to bring about the formation of the one called Pie King, i.e., me.
Many have said that the Pie King is a simple man; a mere figurehead of silliness. In a way, this is true. For many I hold that role, and hold it well; after all, a SERIOUS person wouldn't go around Tamriel, pieing people in the face with shouts of "Victory!" and "Huzzah!" It requires one who is silly at heart to wear the bright white boots and dazzlingly red suit of the Pie King.
Many others hold the Pie King up as a champion of the people, despite having done nothing of particular significance to earn such respect. I spread mirth and merriment and that's about it. Granted, now that I think about it, I suppose that after attempt after attempt after attempt of the daedric princes trying to enslave the people of Nirn, someone who adds a little mirth and merriment here and there WOULD be a champion to some; I imagine that's why Sanguine is one of the more popular cults. I don't accept this title of "champion" for myself, however. I am merely doing what I can.
I have started this journal not to lift myself up, nor to tear myself down; I write it as a, well, I guess as a monument, although that sounds much more pompous than I intend it to. It is merely here as a historical marker, an indication of who the Pie King really is, and to clear up some of the more...colourful embellishments that have been attached to him. As Pie King, I am many things to many people; as me, I am simply...who I am.
All this contemplating and writing has brought my previous thoughts back to the forefront. Time for more pie.
- Pie King
Edited by Saucy_Jack on December 27, 2019 2:29PM I sit by my favourite window in my Grand Villa as I pen this, watching the waves lap against Artaeum - a literal sanctuary from the world to gather my thoughts. Mostly they're about pies; they're so delicious. Mmmm. Pies. Hold on a minute.
I sit by my favourite window in my Grand Villa as I eat delicious pie, watching the waves lap against Artaeum - a literal sanctuary from the world to gather my thoughts. They are less about pie now, and more about the events that transpired to bring about the formation of the one called Pie King, i.e., me.
Many have said that the Pie King is a simple man; a mere figurehead of silliness. In a way, this is true. For many I hold that role, and hold it well; after all, a SERIOUS person wouldn't go around Tamriel, pieing people in the face with shouts of "Victory!" and "Huzzah!" It requires one who is silly at heart to wear the bright white boots and dazzlingly red suit of the Pie King.
Many others hold the Pie King up as a champion of the people, despite having done nothing of particular significance to earn such respect. I spread mirth and merriment and that's about it. Granted, now that I think about it, I suppose that after attempt after attempt after attempt of the daedric princes trying to enslave the people of Nirn, someone who adds a little mirth and merriment here and there WOULD be a champion to some; I imagine that's why Sanguine is one of the more popular cults. I don't accept this title of "champion" for myself, however. I am merely doing what I can.
I have started this journal not to lift myself up, nor to tear myself down; I write it as a, well, I guess as a monument, although that sounds much more pompous than I intend it to. It is merely here as a historical marker, an indication of who the Pie King really is, and to clear up some of the more...colourful embellishments that have been attached to him. As Pie King, I am many things to many people; as me, I am simply...who I am.
All this contemplating and writing has brought my previous thoughts back to the forefront. Time for more pie.
- Pie King
ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
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Saucy_Jack✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Fredas, 27th day of Evening Star, 582 of the Second Era
That day. That unforgettable day. The day that pivoted my life down a completely different path than the one I was on; the one I had always intended to be on.
I wasn't always the Pie King, you know.
I have to write these journal entries when I can - I know there's something wrong with my pie mind; lucidity only happens occasionally now.
It was the 18th of Second Seed, five years back. No, six. It was my birthday, in fact. Was it? I had just returned from my studies at the Mages Guild for the day - we had been going over how to use restoration magic to increase food and drink yields when cooking, which is certainly a useful skill when one's trying to save up a pie coin or two here and there. Of course, had I known that a year later that everyone and their mother in Tamriel would have the same skill due to a simple knowledge scroll the Mages Guild would put out, I would have saved myself the trouble of hours and hours and hours and hours of practicing over a hot cauldron.
As it turns out, I would have also saved my sanity.
I sat down at my table, ready to celebrate my special day by eating the most delicious strawberry-and-blackberry pie (I knew it was the most delicious because it was baked by my dear mother.) And then I got to thinking. Why eat one most delicious pie, when I could eat two? Or three? Or even four? Eating my favourite dessert whenever I wanted it would be a great birthday present indeed - I present I would give myself! It would also be a delightful gift to my mother, who would be saved the trouble of baking, and the additional trouble of me begging for her famous strawberry-and-blackberry pie all the time.
And so calling on the not-so-perfectly-learned pie spell from that day's lessons, I pied made a fateful pie choice...
Pie! Damn! I can't pie keep my pies straight anymore! HUZZAH!
- Pie PieALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.7 -
Nemesis7884✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭strawberry and blackberry pie...wtf... weird combination
i prefer strawberry rhubarbEdited by Nemesis7884 on December 27, 2019 3:40PM0 -
Nord_Raseri✭✭✭✭✭
✭Was clearing out some old drafts and saw I never posted this "Mmmm steak and stout pie. Followed by strawberry rhubarb pie..."Edited by Nord_Raseri on February 25, 2021 12:51PMVeit ég aðég hékk vindga meiði á nætr allar níu, geiri undaðr og gefinn Oðni, sjálfr sjálfum mér, á þeim meiði er manngi veit hvers hann af rótum rennr.0
