So there I was right doing vMA going for Flawless Conqueror. BOOM first phase down easy as cake.
Then the second phase got clapped as I was dodging spinning blades like a ballerina.
Third phase comes and that ones just too easy I just hugged that robotic crabs little legs as I DPS'd him with the vigor of a thousand stampeding baby elephants.
Fourth phase thought it'd be wise to get in my way to Flawless Conqueror....yeah no I ran laps around the boss as I was dodging everything that was trying to take my head off with such grace I swear I heard angels singing.
Then comes the fifth phase this one I've always had trouble with but I attacked with such passion and concentration that everything just turned into a blur as I sliced and diced my way to victory.
Sixth phase? Please I didn't even need to run into the light for I am blessed by Odin himself all those little spiders just evaporated at the sheer sight of a manly man such as myself.
Then the seventh phase hit and I was like "OH NO A MUSHROOM RUN!" then I hear an explosion but I had dodge rolled to safety like my life depended on it because well it did but these puny mushrooms were no match for my almighty awesomeness.
Eighth phase tried to take me down but I'm no filthy vampire I'm a HUMAN blessed by the gods with untold strength nothing can stop me! I said to myself as I walked into the portal to the last phase.
Everything was going fine and dandy until I destroyed the first crystal and the boss had knocked me down as I rose from the lava like a bat out of Hades I was met by a fire breathing lizard also known as a daedroth. HMPH! I thought as I began fighting it with such intensity that the entire arena began to shake violently and then the evil lizard that stands on two legs began to charge up an attack of fire the likes of which I've never seen before! It reminded me of that time I thought it wise to check if my pizza was cooled off enough to eat by taking a huge bite out of it! I thought I'd just roll dodge out of the way but I was exhausted from all my previous battles that instead of dodging sideways I dodged backwards still in the radius of this beasts terrible fire attack and I.... I died.
And with my tale coming to an end I must say...
ZOS WHAT ARE YOU DOING? NERF THESE THINGS THEY'RE TOO STRONG WHAT THE CRAP????