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So a Khajiit walks into a bar and the Argonian bartender says...

keevil111
keevil111
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Wanna fight?!

Ok, so who wins a fistfight between an Argonian and a Khajiit? We're talking no gear, no skills, just fisticuffs. Tell us your pick and why.
PS4 NA

So a Khajiit walks into a bar and the Argonian bartender says... 124 votes

Khajiit, Paws Down!
24%
SorianaalphasquidGlassHalfFullzariaStreegaWoelerAhzekKanarrootimusTan9oSucckaAliyavanaZorrinNyladreassusmitdsGeneral_ZeranthRatzkifalTasearYamiKurukuDark_Lord_KuroRABIDxWOLVERINE 30 votes
Argonian, Moist Victory!
11%
NemeliomperditionerShadow_AkulaworsttankeverthankyouratMeetrekathandirakaiagemikemaconplaysforfunOzzymandiusezio45skrvbb10rdkeevil111 14 votes
It's a Draw! Both Emerge Bloody But Otherwise Intact.
4%
Iruil_ESOFischblutTucker3711Eeri_RavencawArgonianwerecroc212Rake 6 votes
The Khajiit Politely Declines, Then Later, Breaks Into the Argonian's Home to Slit His Throat and Steal an Inkwell.
31%
Caligamy_ESOwenchmore420b14_ESOYusufAllPlayAndNoWorkAlienSlofSheezabeastAshtarisAmouricebladessArcirisVulsahdaalSevalaricgirlKatahdinBomblePantsVildebillSpiderKnightFLL200ClientierSkyvertexKeldheir 39 votes
The Argonian Refuses, Citing His Love For His Eggs, Then Offers The Khajiit A Poisoned Skooma.
5%
MarrazzMistSilver_StriderE7216NoTimeToWaitKumba_YaAthannosThe_Lusty_Maid 7 votes
This Is Stupid, Shouldn't You Be Working?
8%
HvzedaShezzarrineKiralyn2000eso_nyaShawn_PTprogramcanaanSmeeheeIlCaccia_Ahala_Reistr_the_UnbrokenRed_Feather 11 votes
This Is Stupid, Shouldn't I Be Working?
13%
SkuaJavladsrfrogg23LatiosNolaArchEnemy-of-ColdharbourLarianaPrabooomagictucktuckDankstaRygonixMister_DMCWildRaptorXSaphaylacolossalvoidsAutumnMystspartaxoxo 17 votes
  • keevil111
    keevil111
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    Argonian, Moist Victory!
    I heard that Khajiit "use the litter box" when they die.
    PS4 NA
  • GabiAlex
    GabiAlex
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    The Dunmer when he calls his slaves back home.
    @GabiAlex - PC EU Megaserver
    Delora Xiaphia - Aldmeri Dominion - Nightblade Bosmer
    Ugrim gro-Khar - Daggerfall Covenant - Dragonknight Orsimer
    Sena R'en - Ebonheart Pact - Sorcerer Dunmer
    Fjorik Firebeard - Ebonheart Pact - Templar Nord
    Ophelia Adel Maris - Aldmeri Dominion - Sorcerer Breton
    Drinks-In-Silence - Ebonheart Pact - Dragonknight Argonian
    Floriancen Larethian - Aldmeri Dominion - Warden Altmer
    Zahir at Unar - Daggerfall Covenant - Nightblade Redguard


  • NoTimeToWait
    NoTimeToWait
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    The Argonian Refuses, Citing His Love For His Eggs, Then Offers The Khajiit A Poisoned Skooma.
    Argonian will win because khajiit is in skooma induced fever to start a fight in a bar. No sane khajiit would ever attract so many unnecessary stares.

    Though, it is also debatable what counts for a win, because later khajiit will leave with pockets full of goods, so in the end khajiit will be better off than argonian.

    So, my answer is that khajiit was poisoned by faulty skooma beforehand, but later will return to steal everything (seriously, you need something more than poisoned skooma to kill a khajiit)
    But I didn't choose the options where khajiit wins by killing his opponent, because no decent khajiit will ever cowardly slit someone's throat
    Edited by NoTimeToWait on October 12, 2018 7:45PM
  • kadochka
    kadochka
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    Khajiit, Paws Down!
    You remember the unarmed Claws buff from Skyrim, yes?

    But they both fight well. :smile:
    if I could make another character, their name would be Cries-For-Character-Slots. AKA, I need more.

  • keevil111
    keevil111
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    Argonian, Moist Victory!
    kadochka wrote: »
    You remember the unarmed Claws buff from Skyrim, yes?

    But they both fight well. :smile:

    Lol, Yup! That was epic.
    PS4 NA
  • Sheezabeast
    Sheezabeast
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    The Khajiit Politely Declines, Then Later, Breaks Into the Argonian's Home to Slit His Throat and Steal an Inkwell.
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tqEVCTMkBnI
    Grand Master Crafter, Beta baby who grew with the game. PC/NA. @Sheezabeast if you have crafting needs!
  • kargen27
    kargen27
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    Need an "other" option.

    The drunk Nord sitting back in the corner cheering them on is the clear winner.
    and then the parrot said, "must be the water mines green too."
  • keevil111
    keevil111
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    Argonian, Moist Victory!

    i will admit, this is one catchy tune.
    PS4 NA
  • magictucktuck
    magictucktuck
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    This Is Stupid, Shouldn't I Be Working?
    Argonian Master Race AMR
    PC-NA

    Necromancer

    Flawless Conqueror

    https://www.magictucktuck.com for my builds and guides!
  • Sevalaricgirl
    Sevalaricgirl
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    The Khajiit Politely Declines, Then Later, Breaks Into the Argonian's Home to Slit His Throat and Steal an Inkwell.
    We all know what the khajiit would do.
  • Reistr_the_Unbroken
    Reistr_the_Unbroken
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    This Is Stupid, Shouldn't You Be Working?
    I would’ve voted other but there wasn’t an option.
  • kathandira
    kathandira
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    Argonian, Moist Victory!
    keevil111 wrote: »
    Wanna fight?!

    Ok, so who wins a fistfight between an Argonian and a Khajiit? We're talking no gear, no skills, just fisticuffs. Tell us your pick and why.

    Argonian. They have Hist Sap. They are living weapons.
    PS4-NA. Breton Templar Healer, Bosmer Stamplar, Breton Magplar, Orsimer StamDK, Dunmer MagDK, Khajiit StamNB, Dunmer MagNB, Argonian Warden Tank, Altmer Magsorc
  • kathandira
    kathandira
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    Argonian, Moist Victory!
    GabiAlex wrote: »
    The Dunmer when he calls his slaves back home.

    Ayyyy! Good call.
    PS4-NA. Breton Templar Healer, Bosmer Stamplar, Breton Magplar, Orsimer StamDK, Dunmer MagDK, Khajiit StamNB, Dunmer MagNB, Argonian Warden Tank, Altmer Magsorc
  • Silver_Strider
    Silver_Strider
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    The Argonian Refuses, Citing His Love For His Eggs, Then Offers The Khajiit A Poisoned Skooma.
    Hail Sithis

    Honestly, too many variables to account for.
    What breed of Khajiit?
    Is the Argonian being enhanced by the Hist?
    We going by ESO mechanics or other ES titles?

    I NEED DETAILS DAMN IT!!!!
    Edited by Silver_Strider on October 12, 2018 8:23PM
    Argonian forever
  • BooPerScOOper
    BooPerScOOper
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    Khajiit, Paws Down!
    All questions answered here.
    https://youtube.com/watch?v=eu1by5-BpTA
  • firedrgn
    firedrgn
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    He says ouch that looks like that hurt.
  • keevil111
    keevil111
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    Argonian, Moist Victory!
    Hail Sithis

    Honestly, too many variables to account for.
    What breed of Khajiit?
    Is the Argonian being enhanced by the Hist?
    We going by ESO mechanics or other ES titles?

    I NEED DETAILS DAMN IT!!!!

    Ahh, but you have the details already, my friend. In your imagination. lol
    PS4 NA
  • Recremen
    Recremen
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    I prefer to imagine them both as lovers, not fighters. ;)
    Men'Do PC NA AD Khajiit
    Grand High Illustrious Mid-Tier PvP/PvE Bussmunster
  • bottleofsyrup
    bottleofsyrup
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    cringe
  • Red_Feather
    Red_Feather
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    This Is Stupid, Shouldn't You Be Working?
    If it turns into the barfight scene from Top Secret: the movie, then of course the Argonian wins.
  • MLGProPlayer
    MLGProPlayer
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    And then they both wake up and realise they can't freely walk into bars because they're slaves.
  • Tucker3711
    Tucker3711
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    It's a Draw! Both Emerge Bloody But Otherwise Intact.
    Because a uninvited Nord ALWAYS wins!
    @Tucker311- PC
    Tucker3711
    Nord Beth Rose (EP)
    Imperial Freya Var (DC)
    High Elf Hestia du foyer (AD)
    Wood Elf Epona Caoin (AD)
    Hotstuff Queen
  • kaiage
    kaiage
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    Argonian, Moist Victory!
    Argonian, his scales are too thick for cat-man's claws.. and lizard-man laughs as he beats cat-man into subconscious...
    an anonymous EP nightblade and Templar...
    also; a warden and nightblade of the aldmeri flavour.

    "there's a dragon with matches, that's loose on the town..."
    "it's no easy road, this struggle and strife... we find ourselves, in the show of life" - tab @ the tab
    If you've been fallen by my steel or blade - sorry there's no tomorrow for yeh!
    Kidding;) don't take it so bad, I've been doing this a long time
  • Rygonix
    Rygonix
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    This Is Stupid, Shouldn't I Be Working?
    I sometimes have to stop and wonder why I am browsing the forums instead of doing something important..like farming motif pages or something.
    Ceres Des Mortem-Dark Elf Templar, EP
    PC-NA
  • ArchMikem
    ArchMikem
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    Why do you have to pit them against each other when the rest of the world already treats them like crap.

    CP2,200+ Master Explorer - AvA Two Star Warlord - Console Peasant - Khajiiti Aficionado - The Clan
    Quest Objective: OMG Go Talk To That Kitty!
  • dem0n1k
    dem0n1k
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    Bar brawl.... nord wins.
    NA Server [PC] -- Mostly Ebonheart Pact, Mostly.
  • WaltherCarraway
    WaltherCarraway
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    The Khajiit Politely Declines, Then Later, Breaks Into the Argonian's Home to Slit His Throat and Steal an Inkwell.
    hahahahahahahahahahhahahah

    you made my day
    Back from my last hiatus. 2021 a new start.
  • srfrogg23
    srfrogg23
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    This Is Stupid, Shouldn't I Be Working?
    Ugh... I need to write this paper but I'm reading the forums instead.
  • MisterBigglesworth
    MisterBigglesworth
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    The Khajiit has high charisma and thus is able to make the best of a bad situation. The two become fast friends over a round of shots, and run off together on many epic treasure hunting adventures! Eventually they both retire to their separate lives of leisure, but lose touch.

    Years later, the aging Argonian reluctantly heads out alone for one last adventure. He raids an ancient tomb, disarming traps and leaving doors ajar as he goes, and uncovers a relic of immeasurable value and power.

    Just as he turns to leave, the Khajiit enters the room. The Khajiit is much older now, grizzled, wearing an eye patch. Little did the Argonian know the Khajiit and his machine-gun toting cronies were actually following him all along!

    How will it end? Turn in next week!
    Really we do it without like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important.
  • keevil111
    keevil111
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    Argonian, Moist Victory!
    Rygonix wrote: »
    I sometimes have to stop and wonder why I am browsing the forums instead of doing something important..like farming motif pages or something.

    This is important.
    PS4 NA
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