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The Ballad of the PUG
Saucy_Jack
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Note: for the record, the asterisks are what I typed. Hooray for self-censorship!
On an ancient orc highway, Wroth wind in my hair
Loud roars of a pledge boss, rising up through the air
Down left in the zone chat, I saw a shimmering light
LFG, and DPS, they were
invitations to fight
There he stood in the doorway
I heard the quester yell
"Holy crap, this boss is outta hand"
Had my [insert weapon] to sell
Group leader hit the dungeon, and he showed me the way
There were voices on the discord, oh
I thought I heard them say
"WHAT THE **** ARE YOU ****ING DOING GET THE **** OUT OF THE ****ING RED YOU SON OF A ***** HOLY ****ING ****"
"Guys it's not a race"
"SHUT YOUR ***ING FACE"
"OH MY SWEET **** I CAN'T ****ING BELIEVE WE HAVEN'T KICKED THIS EVER****LOVING **** OUT OF OUR ****ING GROUP"
"This is normal tier"
"GOLD YOUR ****ING GEAR"
Their minds are impaired and twisted, their online manners offend
Gotta a lot of Call-of-Duty boys, that they call friends
How they teabag my dead corpse, and don't resurrect
Just wanted to clear it, now I just want to forget
So I called up the leader; "hey do you guys mind?"
He said, "HOLY **** ARE YOU STILL ****ING HERE HOW HAVE YOU NOT BEEN ****ING KICKED OUT TO THE MOTHER****ING CURB"
And still the discord is calling from far away
Shrieking like a banshee in my ears
just to loudly bray
"YOU ****LICKING LIMP**** ******* IF WE DON'T FINISH THIS ****ING PLEDGE IN THE NEXT TWO ****ING MINUTES YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE DEAD IN REAL LIFE. I'M SERIOUS. I'M SO ****ING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW."
"It's a decent pace"
"SHUT YOUR ****ING FACE"
"SO HELP ME I WILL ****ING TAKE A MOTHER****ING **** IN YOUR ****ING MOUTH IF WE oh good, boss is dead gg"
"So we got the clear?"
"Let's get out of here"
So we got to the ending, the last boss was on ice
Leader said "K, disbanding now", without thinking twice
So the countdown started to have me removed
it kicked me out before my skill point gain, I can't say I approve
Last thing I remember, I was at a loading screen
Headed back to where I was, before I joined up with those peens
"Relax", said my conscience, "next group won't be pricks"
"You're still a relatively decent guy, but they'll always be ****s!"
*sweet lute solo*
Edited by Saucy_Jack on April 9, 2018 9:55AM On an ancient orc highway, Wroth wind in my hair
Loud roars of a pledge boss, rising up through the air
Down left in the zone chat, I saw a shimmering light
LFG, and DPS, they were
invitations to fight
There he stood in the doorway
I heard the quester yell
"Holy crap, this boss is outta hand"
Had my [insert weapon] to sell
Group leader hit the dungeon, and he showed me the way
There were voices on the discord, oh
I thought I heard them say
"WHAT THE **** ARE YOU ****ING DOING GET THE **** OUT OF THE ****ING RED YOU SON OF A ***** HOLY ****ING ****"
"Guys it's not a race"
"SHUT YOUR ***ING FACE"
"OH MY SWEET **** I CAN'T ****ING BELIEVE WE HAVEN'T KICKED THIS EVER****LOVING **** OUT OF OUR ****ING GROUP"
"This is normal tier"
"GOLD YOUR ****ING GEAR"
Their minds are impaired and twisted, their online manners offend
Gotta a lot of Call-of-Duty boys, that they call friends
How they teabag my dead corpse, and don't resurrect
Just wanted to clear it, now I just want to forget
So I called up the leader; "hey do you guys mind?"
He said, "HOLY **** ARE YOU STILL ****ING HERE HOW HAVE YOU NOT BEEN ****ING KICKED OUT TO THE MOTHER****ING CURB"
And still the discord is calling from far away
Shrieking like a banshee in my ears
just to loudly bray
"YOU ****LICKING LIMP**** ******* IF WE DON'T FINISH THIS ****ING PLEDGE IN THE NEXT TWO ****ING MINUTES YOU'LL WISH YOU WERE DEAD IN REAL LIFE. I'M SERIOUS. I'M SO ****ING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW."
"It's a decent pace"
"SHUT YOUR ****ING FACE"
"SO HELP ME I WILL ****ING TAKE A MOTHER****ING **** IN YOUR ****ING MOUTH IF WE oh good, boss is dead gg"
"So we got the clear?"
"Let's get out of here"
So we got to the ending, the last boss was on ice
Leader said "K, disbanding now", without thinking twice
So the countdown started to have me removed
it kicked me out before my skill point gain, I can't say I approve
Last thing I remember, I was at a loading screen
Headed back to where I was, before I joined up with those peens
"Relax", said my conscience, "next group won't be pricks"
"You're still a relatively decent guy, but they'll always be ****s!"
*sweet lute solo*
ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.
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Chaos2088✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭If you do a set in front of people can I play the triangle at the end....one ting and I would be happy.
@Chaos2088 PC EU Server | AD-PvP1 -
Sixty5✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭I love it.Lord and Savior of the Association of Serious S***posters.
I play a character called "Gives Me Wood Elf" because I am a mature and sensible person.
Stam Sorc main in Battlegrounds0 -
Namarkas✭✭✭Made me laugh, have an awesome for that
However, putting in that much effort makes me wonder how many groups like that you had you poor bugger^^2 -
Saucy_Jack✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭✭✭Who wants to actually sing this for us then?
Hahahahaha I reeeeeally want someone to make a Youtube video of this.ALL HAIL SNUGGLORR THE MAGNIFICENT, KING OF THE RNG AND NIRN'S ONE TRUE GOD! Also, become a Scrub-scriber! SJ Scrubs: Playing games badly to make you feel better about yourself.0 -
srfrogg23✭✭✭✭✭
✭✭✭That was probably the most expletive riddled version of Hotel California I’ve ever seen. Bravo!2
