Missing out?

FelixTheCatt

OK , a lot of you might find this stupid but is being on an MMO like this but playing solo a rarity? I've been on the community forums a long time but in game I don't tend to socialize much if at all.
I don't use mic/headset just because I've never really gotten into it in the past. Even though we're all anonymous online I'm just extremely shy online. Can't really pinpoint why exactly , just am. I'm in a fairly large trading guild but only to sell across the guild trader for the most part.

I attended a cross guild event during Halloween and others looked like they were really enjoying themselves. I kinda stood off to the side by myself feeling like I didn't really belong there at all. Irl I'm actually a funny social guy who takes little seriously. Why in a game , is it so difficult for me to be involved? I feel like I'm not getting the entire experience this game offers. Its prevented me from even doing any group content at all. Delves , dungeons etc....nothing.

I played WoW for yrs and made long time friends from around the world. Now , I can barely get past more than an odd comment here and there in zone chat. Anyone else go through this? I'd think with the number of players in this game , I can't be alone. No pun intended.

Anyways , wasn't trying to waste anyone's time and I'm not whining , I'm just curious if this is more common than I think it is.

Slammer99uk

Not to sound like a snob or anything, but it seems you are the restriction in this case. No one can help you if you do not put yourself out to be more sociable?

Join a well established guild that runs regular trials, dungeon runs, pledge groups etc. you will be amazed at how much you are missing out on.

FloppyTouch

Beer helps

FelixTheCatt

No I didn't take your response as snobby at all. I agree that I am obviously standing in my own way. Without a doubt. I'm just not sure why I changed that way or how to overcome it. I thought others might have surely went through this as well.

WhiteCoatSyndrome

I'm inclined to think solo play in ESO is the rule rather than the exception: look at Craglorn. Much of the reason people stayed out of the zone was because it was aimed at groups and people didn't want to group for it. Now, I know there are dungeon running guilds and Trial running guilds and PvP guilds, so there ARE people who do that...but there are still a largish proportion who don't, or at least don't very often. I believe it's also notable that you can get from the tutorial all the way to the end of the main plot without ever needing to group, so the game itself supports this to some extent.

For your particular case, it may depend on the guild and the mix of people in it. I'm in three trade guilds, and two of them run group events fairly regularly. One of them I have lots of fun with. The other, I tried running in an event twice--the first time was lackluster, the second time was horrible to the point that I will never run in one of their events again. The third guild has random events sometimes, and the people are nice, but the events themselves aren't to my taste.

Also, how long have you been with this guild? I know it took me a few months to warm up to some of mine. Not trusting random people right out of the gate is a survival trait on the internet.

TheSeer

I don't do voice chat period.

If I wanna hear someone screaming "No!!" or "Oh my god I'm gonna die!!" directly into my ear I would sit next to my little brother and watch him play.

builder680

I too had lots of friends in wow but not many in this game. My theories revolve around a couple things.

One, running into another player in the over world usually just means competition for any nodes you run across.

Two, the great majority of the time, Internet friends are fleeting, and the effort it takes to build relationships online often isn't worth it.

Solo is easier.

Slammer99uk

FelixTheCatt wrote: »

No I didn't take your response as snobby at all. I agree that I am obviously standing in my own way. Without a doubt. I'm just not sure why I changed that way or how to overcome it. I thought others might have surely went through this as well.

Just to add, I soloed my way to Vet 16 before either joining a guild or stepping inside a dungeon. So I do see where you are coming from. What I can say is that I discovered a whole new game upon joining one guild after another, cooperation is pretty key to end game PvE or PvP, trust me, if make some effort to socialise you will reap the benefits.

One thing on voice comms, many guilds will ask you to use teamspeak and the like, that in itself is not a game stopper in your situation. You only really need to just run the program and listen, no need for a mic. It can be interesting to hear what people sound like behind the text on screen.

Go on take a chance, you have nothing to lose my friend.

SaibotLiu

There's nothing wrong with being an introvert, online or otherwise. The fact that you made this thread kinda shows you think that something is wrong with that, possibly. It's natural to seek acceptence and even the most jaded person certainly does. If you're struggling to get out and interact or be engaged, you can fake it until you make it. Most everyone, no matter how confident they might look, can relate to that because weve all had to do it at some stage, and were all insecure about something. I think you'll find most people will understand that more than youd think, especially those you'd least expect who seem to have it all figured out.

FelixTheCatt

Thank you for the responses guys. I appreciate it a lot , seriously. Guess I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet and give people a chance. At this point I suppose there's essentially nothing to lose. Best case scenario may make some new friends , have some fun and gain experience I have been severely lacking.

adriant1978

I've never grouped for dungeon content with anyone in this game except my RL girlfriend. Do I feel like I'm missing out? I guess so, but I am who I am - an introvert - and I know I wouldn't have fun trying to coordinate with three strangers over voice chat while stressing about the potential embarrassment of dying like a noob in front of them. And the aim of the game is to have fun, no?

There's nothing wrong with pushing yourself, of course, but don't feel like you have to force yourself to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. There's enough of that in RL.

Argah

I have a huge circle of RL friends on xbox one who I played everything with and then destiny came along and it was only me that played so LFG'd a lot for over a year and made some decent "temporary" friends, the thing about them though they would always get upset if you want some alone time an couldn't be bothered playing, I got annoyed with that and stopped making connections with strangers and kind of keep things more casual now.

geonsocal

@FelixTheCatt ...great post...took me many months to mic up - happened because i wanted to do a dungeon...i got lucky and the group was totally cool (bunch of young stoners - oh my goodness, in cyro every other group i join it's pretty much a constant smoke fest...not that i'm complaining - it's actually pretty funny)...

my suggestion would be - if you do group (do you play pvp?) - plug in and join the group, but, you don't have to say much of anything, an occasionally laugh at someone's joke, every once in a while blurt out what a great job everyone is doing and how cool their character looks - and, people will really enjoy having you there...

good job and have fun - most insightful thing i ever came across to describe introversion was that it always feels like you're a stranger in a strange land...at least that's how it feels to me...

Argah

Forgot to answer the original question so... yes by playing solo you will be missing out on all the fun times endgame and the pvp aspects being a part of a group bring, I will also miss out on eso by choice but I'm ok with that.

shadoza

FelixTheCatt wrote: »

OK , a lot of you might find this stupid but is being on an MMO like this but playing solo a rarity? I've been on the community forums a long time but in game I don't tend to socialize much if at all.
I don't use mic/headset just because I've never really gotten into it in the past. Even though we're all anonymous online I'm just extremely shy online. Can't really pinpoint why exactly , just am. I'm in a fairly large trading guild but only to sell across the guild trader for the most part.

I attended a cross guild event during Halloween and others looked like they were really enjoying themselves. I kinda stood off to the side by myself feeling like I didn't really belong there at all. Irl I'm actually a funny social guy who takes little seriously. Why in a game , is it so difficult for me to be involved? I feel like I'm not getting the entire experience this game offers. Its prevented me from even doing any group content at all. Delves , dungeons etc....nothing.

I played WoW for yrs and made long time friends from around the world. Now , I can barely get past more than an odd comment here and there in zone chat. Anyone else go through this? I'd think with the number of players in this game , I can't be alone. No pun intended.

Anyways , wasn't trying to waste anyone's time and I'm not whining , I'm just curious if this is more common than I think it is.

You are not alone regarding the solo vantage. I think players that run solo usually keep to themselves. I run solo but use chat to check on the world...you know...make sure someone is still living outside my own world. The community for ESO is not friendly mostly. Those that do chat are tolls or hostile. But, you can use the ignore button to weed most of the repeat offenders out. Sometimes I just make a passing comment on the terrain or the NPCs and that breaks the ice for others to relate without getting personal.

If my Argonian can breath fire. that makes him a Dragon, right?

lillybit

I've mostly played solo too - I'm pretty sure my first character reached vr16 without me ever being in a group. I am actually horribly shy irl too tho so that doesn't help.
Lately I've been making more of an effort to join in and it's definitely helped being in the right guilds. Also the events really, really helped me, I've had one of my best times in the game grouped up hunting for Plunder Skulls!
Don't be afraid to leave a guild if you're not getting anything out of it. I've been in several I've left because there didn't seem to be anything in it for me. I now have a couple that are much friendlier that I wouldn't have found if I'd stuck with the first ones I joined. I find it's easier to get involved now there's text chat too (I'm on console) and always try to keep an eye on it.
It is difficult when so many of the players you come across just want to keep to themselves tho

shadoza

lillybit wrote: »

I've mostly played solo too - I'm pretty sure my first character reached vr16 without me ever being in a group. I am actually horribly shy irl too tho so that doesn't help.
Lately I've been making more of an effort to join in and it's definitely helped being in the right guilds. Also the events really, really helped me, I've had one of my best times in the game grouped up hunting for Plunder Skulls!
Don't be afraid to leave a guild if you're not getting anything out of it. I've been in several I've left because there didn't seem to be anything in it for me. I now have a couple that are much friendlier that I wouldn't have found if I'd stuck with the first ones I joined. I find it's easier to get involved now there's text chat too (I'm on console) and always try to keep an eye on it.
It is difficult when so many of the players you come across just want to keep to themselves tho

I think more solo players would be more outspoken in game if chat wasn't so toxic.