Maintenance for the week of October 6:
• [COMPLETE] ESO Store and Account System for maintenance – October 8, 2:00PM EDT (18:00 UTC) - 6:00PM EDT (22:00 UTC)
Please see this article if this error message has persisted for you!
Thank you, @ZOS_Adrikoth. I discovered that it's something on my end. My ISP changed the terms of my internet plan and instituted a data cap yesterday. I'm livid.