Did you hear about the renowned knight of Glenumbra, well known for the strange way he stood when ejaculating? He defended the kingdom so well that crime fell to the lowest levels in history. Some say this was merely chance, others say it was the product of Sir *** Stance. [=circumstance - the anti-swear machine is ruining my joke!]


You are welcome.

I was once offered a job as an escort in the red candle district of Mournhold. Unfortunately it meant working knights!

OK last one........

Several acolytes of Meridia (the one true god) came to Rawl'ka one day to teach the knights of that fair city the power of unarmed combat. The leader of the fighting Khajiit, General Tradesblows-with-Thebestofem sent three of his finest warriors into the ring, only to have a single acolyte knock them unconscious within a minute.

Fuming, the General send five battle-hardened veterans into the ring with the religious fighter. In a whirlwind of sandals, Meridian-chops (like karate chops, but protected under trademark by Meridia), and a few choice epithet to the One True God, again every Khajiiti soldier was dropped to the canvas.

General Tradesblows-with-thebestofem bellowed in frustration and annoyance at his troop being taken down so easily. A small boy-cat wandered from the crowd, pulled the military cat's sleeve and whispered to the General. "Sir, send in old Dances-with-Skooma, the Cat-Priest of Alkosh!". Looking around, the General could see that none of his warriors were up for another beating, so with nothing left to lose he ordered the priest into the ring.

The bell rang, and the acolyte of Meridia came out of his corner as usual. There was a yelp of pain, the whip of a cat's tail, and the unmistakable raspberry of broken wind.....and the acolyte lay sprawled face down on the canvass. Dances-with Skooma, Cat-Priest of Alkosh, was victorious! The General was stunned and amazed.

The General called to the small boy-cat and said "How did you know that would work out ok?". The boy-cat grinned and looked up at the General. "As they say in Elsweyr," he said, "always fight Friar with Friar!".


This has been a shaggy cat story.

Zos1: look there are some player, report that moltan armaments do not work for 5+ month with some weapons.
Zos2: Just ignore him. If we will ignore reports we can do nothing and do not fix it. Becouse we did not know that it was a problem.

Hahaha . . .