Tales of the Dead - Contest Entry Thread

Persephonius

There was an adventurer from Daggerfall
Who completed zone one and stood Tall.
He reached Veteran rank one
Arrived in Cadwell's zone two;
Alas a mud-crab left him undone.

pitbull0210preeb18_ESO

Journal entry 13th First Seed Fredas

Today is the day I finally get some alone time with Elaine!
I think we'll go and eat fine cheese and grapes by campfire, yes that sounds romantic.

I'm sure those rumours of Bosmer bandits in the area are just her father trying to scare me off,after all we're leagues from Valenwood...

bertenburnyb16_ESO

"legally reside in Australia, Canada (excluding Quebec), Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Spain, Sweden, the United Kingdom or the United States (the Territories)"

What? why not Belgium (you know between france, germany the netherlands and UK) another way to ignore/disadvantage a certain part of the player base ... -_-

LeightonKaridian

SantieClaws

So hear please this ballard
So odd but so true
Of three weary travellers
And a pot of cheap stew

Lord Laurent stood tall
Old Ma Stibbons not so much so
Weighed down as she was
By all his luggage and enormous oboe

They stopped for the night
Ma laid out the table
With as much fine silver and cheese
As she was able

A bubbling stew Ma also cooked
While the Lord he played that oboe
Ma chopped and she stirred and moved pots around
And all of this work she did solo

A wandering merchant passed this scene
And bowed as he greeted the pair
Ma hailed the merchant in return
While the Lord's reply was a stare

The merchant he spoke
I have wares and weapons to trade you
All l ask in return on this cold autumn night
Is a small wooden bowl of that fine stew

The three all agreed
On sharing their dinner
The Lord he made sure though
That his share was no thinner

Ma stared at the Lord
Her anger just bubbling
She found the sound of that oboe
More and more troubling

The lord he stared at the merchant
With increasing ill intent
Worrying about all of the jewels
Stashed away in his tent

The merchant he fiddled
With the sores on his feet
Wondering if this was all there
Really, truly was to eat

A tense meal it was
Between these three at the table
The atmosphere rapidly
becoming more unstable

A wandering skeever
was passing by
The bubbling stewpot
caught his eye

Towards all the meaty chunks he ran
That's when the chaos really began!

The stew toppled over
and steam filled the air
From all three travellers
came shouts of despair!

They all drew their weapons
And fired around blindly
The arrows they loosed
Fell all about widely

Two travellers they fell
In the ensuing chaos
Pierced all about
In a hail of arrows

One traveller still stood
And looking around them
Looted what remained
Of both stew pot and precious gem

They walked down the road
Onwards to other adventure
leaving behind only
A sack full of oboe bits and an empty trencher

So who made it out and
Who fell that day?
The only one who knows
Just went on their way ...

When the steam settled
Little there remained
Save two fallen travellers
And a scene unexplained ..

Raiigen

bertenburnyb16_ESO wrote: »

"legally reside in Australia, Canada (excluding Quebec), Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Spain, Sweden, the United Kingdom or the United States (the Territories)"

What? why not Belgium (you know between france, germany the netherlands and UK) another way to ignore/disadvantage a certain part of the player base ... -_-

I agree, I mean, c'mon, guys, why not say Europe or European Union? There are a lot of players outside those countries and would like to participate (Portugal *raises hand*). And I had a good story because I remember that scene in Daggerfall (not sure if Glenumbra or Stormhaven, it was a long time ago...) and the note that comes with it. But why should I waste my time if it'll be for nothing?

And why Canada, but not Quebec? Why Sweden and not Italy? Why cornflakes and not toast? Why aliens and not pie? Now I made myself sad... I want pie...

Tomendayo

A powerful hedge wizard resided in the northern mountains of Bangkorai. Though he didn't do particularly much to offend anyone, the crystal orb in his possession had caught the eye of some rather pushy and detestable fellows.

After traipsing about through the woodlands, they eventually found the wizard at his camp in the crevice of some stone cliffs. He sat at a long table adorned with a variety of foods studying the carcass of a recently slain rabbit. While his attention was diverted, one of the adventurers loosed an arrow (from a safe distance) intending to down the wizard without a battle and take the orb. The arrow flew high into the air from their hiding spot and arced down upon the camp, but never did it hit the ground. The wizard was unharmed and still seemed to be unawares that an attempt had just been made at his life. Pushing his luck for a second shot, the assassin released another arrow into the sky and down upon the camp, but again, it did not appear to hit the ground. After loosing several more arrows, he pressed his companion to try his hand at it. However, of all the arrows they launched, none of them hit the ground let alone their mark.

The wizard, still seemingly ignorant of his plight, casually stood with a book in hand and sauntered off into the wilderness in search of more specimens. The duo came down from their hiding spot and stood at the head of the long table, staring at the orb the wizard had so conveniently left behind for them. It was larger than it had first seemed and it took the two of them considerable effort to stuff it into a heavy sack and thus, unbeknownst to them, nullifying its magic of spatial distortion. Quite winded from their efforts, the duo chose to sit briefly and perhaps steal a bite of cheese before they made off with their prize. However, with the spatial distortion magic dispelled, the arrows previously removed from the Mundus once again flew according to their proper paths.

SomeElf

“Now, this one is among my very favourites.” The Sapiarch of Composition halted, and the gaggle of students following him slowed their pace, arranging themselves in a vague semi-circle. “It is a little political, but hardly suffers for it. Quite the contrary.”

It was the largest of many installations exhibited that day in the inner courtyard of the Shimmerene Academy. The manicured lawns and mosaic pathways that filled the heart of that prestigious institution of Altmeri learning were entirely overrun by works of avant-garde sculpture. Though it was intended for the benefit of all, none were keener to take advantage of the exhibition than the Academy’s own students of art.

Their instructor stood silent for a long moment with his hands folded behind his back, allowing the younger mer to move about the giant tableau. It was very elaborate: real earth brought to Summerset from continental Tamriel, magically-grown vegetation and, although actually made from canvas stretched on metal frames, very convincing boulders and cliffs.

“Now,” came the inevitable question, “what do we see?”

“Feasting skeletons under attack,” one of the females in the group, a willowy, black-lipped gamine, answered immediately. “Clearly human. In Tamriel.”

“What humans?” The Sapiarch of Composition rocked back on his heels, and his gaze leapt from face to face when no reply emerged. He was an embodiment of his subject, from the precise length of his robe’s hem, through the stylish knot of his sash, to the intricate braiding of his hair. His smile was taut, and cold as winter. “What is the symbol on the bag?”

“A Breton trillium,” ventured a young male, staring at the lumpy container.

“Triskelion,” corrected the Sapiarch, “but Breton is a safe wager. What else do we see? Go on, you may step closer in.”

“They had obviously been sharing a meal moments before the assault,” remarked another female as she bent over the table, careful not to disturb the objects. “The candles make that point. Why skeletons and not bodies?”

“Reasons practical and allegorical, my dear,” replied the instructor imperiously. “Corpses decay unpleasantly. More importantly, it shows their deaths were already certain, even as they ate. What is the intent of the cheese?”

The student wrinkled her long, golden nose. “Symbolising madness?”

“Precisely. Skeletons, merish arrows, cheese. Death preordained by the madness of opposing the Dominion.” The Sapiarch was in full flow. “What are arrows? Distance. Death from afar, death from the Isles, death without sullying our own hands. The scene has the appearance of chaos, but it was staged with great care using telekinesis and the help of a master archer. The feigning of chaos through ordered technique adds another semiotic layer to…”

“Is it right, though?” the black-lipped student interrupted. The other Altmer all looked away so as not to be seen to abet the insolence. Yet she forged on. “To just use their bones like that, for art?”

The Sapiarch of Composition regarded her with pity. “I am afraid you will loathe the next one, then.”

CRPLwifey

I love the the heart pulling stories in elder scrolls and take time to investigate and read all the books that i come across in the games that are to do with mara and lost lovers i feel its a nice touch to a world that is in chaos or dia peril at any poi, so here is my entry for the background story as i'm not much of a writer.

Summers Love, Winters Chill

Two lovers live in a small town and grew up together. they were like bread and butter, where you found the one you found the other.

when there love for eachother became clear to each other they went to get approval from their parents But one being of noble descendants and the other being from farming family the request for their marriage was soon escalated into a family feud, each family blaming the other.
The nobels blame the farmers for turning their child into a uncivilised child with there head in the clouds and the farmers blaming the nobles for their times of struggle. Both the lovers were kept apart and punished greatly if they were caught together and locked in their families houses.

So they went to seek help from mara and the priests. they came to the decision that they would leave the town and there family and go live off the lad were no one would judge them for their love or birth.

They gathered what they could and left to find a new place to call home. Two days after they found a beautiful spot were the sun glowed red in the morning and the a deep purple at dusk leaving only the endless stars to light the nights. All was well and there love bloomed greater than ever. Shearing stories and songs by the fire and romantic dinners with the fresh food they gathered from the day. life was sweet for them. It was everything they had hoped it would be and more.

Their love was not to last for long in this realm, as one night after laying down the dinner for the two of them a bandit group ambushed them. Neither of them new what to do. Nether were fighters and any attempt of escape was to risky. The next few hours were torcher for the lovers, never had they met men and women so cold and heartless. after looting what little they had the bandits grouped up and pummeled them with arrows leaving the lovers no chance to say there goodbyes.

It is said there spirits still linger there reliving the tragedy that came upon them hoping that someone will wake them from the nightmare.

Its a little unrefined but i'm happy for it to be tweaked and altered.

Wolfenfire

Loredas, 3rd of Heartfire

The fire crackled softly and the embers began to dim. Larcarius thought of placing another log on the open fire but his tenant would hopefully arrive at any moment. He sat luxuriously on a finely craft oaken chair and a sturdy long table. The whole encampment sat in front of the thieves’ guild secret cave entrance. There was originally a tent over the meeting table but the guild master preferred to gaze at Auzura’s lights at night, much to Larcarius’ annoyance.
Larcarius played around with a large slice of cheese while thoughtfully chewing on some Altmerian wine grapes when he heard the ruffle of his fellow thieves sitting quietly above on the cliff face, bows drawn and ready. Sometimes the tenants forgot to pay for their loan.

A small scraping sound came from the bushes to the south and a short, dirty wood elf cautiously hobbled towards the table. Larcarius grinned and threw his feet upon the meeting table, hearing the strings of the watching thieves bows tighten. If Larcarius managed to get the wood elf’s money he would surely become more profitable than the guild master and maybe even overthrow him. He had already boasted too many of his comrades who drunkenly agreed. The short wood elf stood silently before the table, shaking softly in his worn leather boots.

Larcarius chucked a grape in his mouth and chewed slowly ‘Well, what a fine pleasure it is to see you again Thandil! Here for your monthly deposit!’ Larcarius gestured merrily at the chair on the other side of the table. ‘Take a sit boy, take a seat.’

Thandil sat slowly onto the chair, feet hanging off the ground. ‘Um… Um I can’t afford the deposit!’ he stuttered ‘I’ll have double the pay next month! Just give me time! I promise!’ Thandil clenched his hands and shook them hopelessly.

‘Thandil, my lad, but these are the sort of deals that have gotten you in these kafuffles!’ Larcarius slurped the rest of his wine. ‘I’m sorry my boy but if you have no gold now then…’ Larcarius drifted off so it would sink in. Thandil wept ‘I can’t pay you now but give me a-‘

Larcarius rolled his eyes and gestured lazily. He would have to wait for the next tenant to outdo the guild master. Arrows flew down from the cliffside from behind Larcarius and rained down around the shocked wood elf. One arrow shot down into the elf’s groin and two more arrows thudded into both of his eye sockets. Thandil rocked off his chair and limply landed on the floor.

Larcarius took a bite of cheese. Such a messy business. He sighed softly. Then a sharp whistle echoed and an arrow thudded right in front of Larcarius with a note saying:

You shall never be the thieves’ guild master…

Larcarius began to slowly reach for another grape, disturbed, when another arrow thudded into his skull collapsing Nirn into darkness.

Pyper09Lynn

Middas, 1st of Morning Star

Master,

Our search for the ancient text you desire has come up short. We found nothing but a dusty stack of ruined old spell books. Not to mention the spiders, such vile creatures. Only two of us made it out of that ruin, Bron and myself, the rest falling prey to a mixture of creatures of shadow and hidden traps. In our haste to escape our eight legged pursuers we stumbled across what appears to be an abandoned bandit hideout, complete with a cozy fire pit and picnic table, how our luck has changed. Our food supplies are dwindling however I expect it shouldn’t take more than a day to reach civilization so we will feast tonight on what’s left nothing but a sack of cheese a bottle of wine and some various fruits. Bron has his nose buried in one of the books he recovered, he seems to think it is some sort of time travel spell, this is ridiculous of course but he is determined to know more.
---
Stupid Bron, stupid stupid stupid! The spell…it wasn’t a time travel spell, or at least not in the conventional sense. Our bodies…they’ve been…altered. An eerie red light appeared from within the books pages and our flesh…our skin, blood, organs…it took everything! How we are still alive I know not. It is as if our bodies experienced years of death and decay in only a few seconds, leaving nothing but our bones and apparently….our souls intact. I would ring that fools neck…if he had one. Bron believes he hears a battalion of the king’s men approaching, most likely a patrol and the reason the bandits jumped ship. We plan to flag them down; surely a mage from town could find a way to reverse the spell.
---
….this is the end. I write this with my most sincere regrets, I will not be returning from my quest. The soldiers they notched their arrows and took aim the moment they laid eyes upon us. We tried to explain, to tell them we weren’t dead and that we needed help…but it did no good, all they could see were the monsters before them…if you ever read this master, tell my father that he is forgiven…and see to it that my son becomes the mage that I never could be…Bron is quiet I cannot tell if he is dead or awaiting death as he no longer has a pulse…or a heartbeat…I sit at the table our food remains on our plates uneaten. But I can feel my soul leaving what’s left of my body. We burned the book…it will not harm anyone else…I must sleep now…Goodbye

alexpitt1994b16_ESO

Sundas 21st of Sun's Dawn

A day of victory for the empire! Myself and my associate Lyrosia, successfully infiltrated the small Bosmer city of Arenthia and retrieved the black dagger from their pitiful defences, we didn't even have to kill anyone. Our orders where to collect this artefact and return it to the White Gold Tower with great haste as it could, supposedly be a powerful weapon against our foe's. Sound's like a load of Netch filth to me, its just a dagger! But as long as we get our weight in Septim's as promised, I'll be a happy man.

Morndas, 22nd of Sun's Dawn

Last night we set up camp just north of the Valenwood border, when we discovered something strange about the artefact. Lyrosia joked around saying we should use the knife to kill us some boar instead of our own weapons, and with my stomach grumbling i thought it couldn't hurt, if we failed we could always confirm the kill with a swift arrow, but the arrow was not needed.. We tracked a hulking fat boar to a pond within the woods nearby camp, Lyrosia sneaked up behind it and took a slice at its back with the dagger. I've never seen anything die so quickly, the beasts eyes went black as its weight dropped it to the floor, and I suddenly felt a lot less hungry, so we settled for some cheese we had in our heavy sack and went back to camp. I can't stop thinking of the darkness i saw in that creatures eyes.

Tirdas, 23rd of Sun's Dawn

Crazy Elves! We awoke this morning to hunting horn of a Bosmer tribe surrounding us with bows drawn and swords unsheathed! None of them spoke to us accept for one who appeared to be their leader, though he did not speak much sense, all he said was "Return the Razor to Valenwood tonight or wake to the sound of a Bosmer eclipse." Fools! I have no need for a razor, and Lyrosia certainly doesn't, divines know what they where going on about we had already decided to spend one last day in our encampment to regain our strength before our journey back to the imperial city and no elf was going to change the mind of an imperial! What in oblivion is a Bosmer eclipse anyway, stupid Mer.

Tsenkoffdragovichb16_ESO

A Skooma Deal

A dunmer and a khajiit were sitting by a table eating lunch. The table was placed in a clearing by the foot of a small mountain, and the sun was shining down upon them. They both wore nice clothes from some of the best tailors. You could tell they were both wealthy.
The dunmer seemed impatient and irritated, while the khajiit was more relaxed. “I won’t pay that much” said the dunmer. “So you have said,” the khajiit responded. The dunmer moved slightly in his chair as if uneasy by the response. The khajiit continued: “It is fine quality skooma. Made from the best moon sugar in all of Elsweyr. It is not overpriced.” “I don’t care about the quality, I care about the quantity” the dunmer responded. “I’m only selling to homeless beggars, they don’t care how fine it is, as long as it’s skooma,” he continued. The khajiit frowned. “Perhaps you should be doing business with someone else then” he said “or consider expanding your market.” He took a piece of cheese in his mouth and gently chewed it, as he was waiting for the dunmer’s response. “I can’t afford to take such risks... If the city guard found out, I would lose my place in the Jarls court,” the dunmer said. After he finished chewing his piece of cheese, the khajiit spoke: “We all take risks… Anyway, you must understand that, you have already pushed me as low, as I can go. Skooma is difficult and expensive to produce. We need a profit.” As he finished speaking, a little rock tumbled down one of the mountain’s cliffs. “What was that?” the dunmer said. They sat quietly for a moment, but as nothing happened, they relaxed again. “Nothing” said the khajiit. “Probably just a guar. They like the moss, on the cliff sides” he continued. “Am I to understand, that you will not agree to this price?” he said. The dunmer nodded. Slightly irritated the khajiit spoke again: “Then I must consider our business concluded… We don’t appreciate people wasting our time… count.”
As he got up from the chair, he raised his head and saw a pack of bandits standing above them on the cliff side with bows and arrows drawn “By the eight” the khajiit whispered to himself, as an arrow flew towards his head. He didn’t managed to avoid it, and it planted itself in his skull. He fell backwards unto the ground, tipping the chair behind him. Immediately after, a rain of arrows fell over the clearing, one of them hitting the dunmer in the head. The bandits crawled down into the clearing. Their leader spoke: “Search their bodies and the crates for valuables; we might get a good score tonight.” The bandits cheered, and did as they were told.

iTz_Silentknife

"This cheese is pretty good, Jorfen!" said Hafgnar.
"Shut up, Hafgnar, you cant even taste it" said Jorfen.
"Look, i'm just trying to make light of the situation. Being a skeleton cant be all that bad, can it?"
"Instead of being so bloody positive all the time, why don't you concentrate on what we are going to do, Hafgnar! What will our wives say? We cant just tell them we were cursed by a wandering necromancer and expect them to believe us! And that's not all, oh no. We cant drink, we cant eat, my privates are forever lost, and every second adventurer that comes across us tries to kill us! The arrows lodged in my skull are not decorative, may I remind you."
"Jorfen, cheer up" said Hafgnar. "Think of the positives. We can now lead a life of freedom, travel Nirn! We cant die, and we will never have to dress up for hallows eve again!"
"Hmm, I do like hallows eve."
"Come on Jorfen, how about we spook some travelers, that'll cheer you up."
"Ok, that sound fun Hafgnar, I guess thats the only thing were good for now. I'll just sit back here, looking real dead like, you knock over that chair and stick some arrows near you. Then, when somebody comes along and sees this food we have, they'll come closer and closer and..."
"BOO" shouted Hafgnar.
"AAH! Oh you scared me Hafgnar. Whats that? Get in position Hafgnar, I think I see a travelling painter come along..."

Nafda

On faded parchment

"Marias said I was mad.

"Do you know what they will do to you once the ruse has been revealed", he was never one for the thrill of the game.

All for our amusement, the game of coin and chance.

Where do I begin? Where can I even start?

From the pockets of a beggar that has long forsaken his name? Perhaps, no one would miss his hallow cries for pity.

Maybe it was at the farm. The fair and honest people that toiled in the dirt to struggle on to the next dawn.

Even the guards were easy marks, they bled so easily and succumbed without struggle.

It eats away at me yet I can not feed this insatiable hunger of greed, the sack heavy from the bounty that I fought for.

Wouldn't it be fate that the dead took their vengeance upon me? What could they possible want with materials of the living? Rubbish.

The fire is dying down, the table is set and their voices are just lingering memories of the path, distant memories of my new found wealth.

Nothing can possibly come to harm me."

dsalter

I think it was a Sheogorath related party looking at the amount of cheese.

fun was had by all. except Golrith who sadly died to a completely and totally not predicable arrow fired straight to the head while Boris just laughed on the floor before those same completely random arrows rained over the party and it was definitely not because of the lack of fish sticks that uncle Sheo oh so loves, especially the cold ones.

AdeusObsidiusCorvus

‘I can’t believe we’ve dragged two mouldy old skeletons half a mile for this. It’s ridiculous, Arras’ I whispered.

‘Do be quiet, Rast. Keep that bow down and stay still. Ah! Someone’s coming. I told you,’ he replied testing the blade of his dagger with his thumb.

‘Yeah. They’ll see two skeletons pinned with arrows – my best arrows I might add - a banquet and a sack. Like they won’t think to themselves, “Hey! Hang on. How is the food still fresh, but they’ve both rotted away?” It’s madness! I mean you might get the odd “Look at the one that got shot right in the groin!” comment but I mean, come on Arras, it’s an obvious set up’.

‘It’s all about first impressions you numb netch,’ he hissed back. ‘Easy loot they'll think and nothing more! If you find an abandoned fire, table and two chairs and you're smart then you use ‘em,' said Arras tapping the side of his head. 'No one’s going to do a bloody crime scene investigation. Good presentation is the key!’

‘Twaddle! When I see a table and two chairs I sit down but not Arras the Brains of Mournhold apparently. Oh no! He comes up with a plan! Good presentation? What under the skies of Nirn possessed you to light the bloody candles? Not enough ambience? Perhaps we should have hired a tavern bard to strum ‘Red Diamond’ too?...’

‘Shhhh Rast! They’re here... Come on cullies just a few more paces...’

Fizzonance

What we are witnessing here is the Wickwing brothers - or as the locals knew them “the-no-goods” – ultimate fate.
-
The Wickwing brothers were born in a simple and poor home with a father as a carpenter and a mother mostly seen at the stove or with a broom in her grip. They learned from childhood ways and ploys to steal pieces of bread or even a couple of gold coins when someone wasn’t watching.

In their teens, they were both mesmerized by the rich Breton families in the area as well as the stories of wealth, abundance and epicurean lifestyles sprung from High Rock. Without money or, in any way, a promising future the two brothers developed their manipulative, beguiling and hoaxing skills to achieve greater loot.

Lately they came to live in abundance, fully paid for by stolen and otherwise embezzled capital and was known in the local area as two dubious types. The-no-goods-brothers came to be mistrusted by all, and any honest income was not at all sought after.
They gorged on the wines of the finest Jazbay Grapes, well-matured cheeses from Glenumbra, and dressed in the most beautiful jewelleries and silk from Alik'r Deserts Market District.

One day a bunch of roughnecks came to town. The gang had a large capital in their pockets and a taste for life's temptations, so the two brothers saw a chance and cheated the gang on, one all too big, capital in a fixed lizard racing. They had “spiced” the lizard with some stamina Increasing alchemy and won the race with a good margin.

Word spread and one day, when the brothers sat and savoured their everyday luxury, the roughnecks caught up with them and killed both fast and brutal. Some of the locals actually even say that "they had it coming".
But material things and gold cannot be compared to the value of someone's life!

These roughnecks must be brought to justice, or do they?

Thag

''Tattered Journal''- (Only the first and last pages are unscathed)
1. -Finally we have gotten away from it, we just couldn't bear nor live up to our families wishes. Maybe something is wrong with us? Me and Elrik were never cut out for that kind of work, WE CRAVE FREEDOM and we made it quite clear to all of the village when we torched the shrine during our escape. How about that ''god'' of theirs actually act for once...

219. -It's been a very long time since I made an entry I've actually lost track of time during our travels, we've been all over tamriel now from Vvardenfell to the summerset isles, We've had adventures more perilous than i care to admit...
The reason im taking time to write this down is that I've had horrible dreams lately and more than once have i found myself seeing the same visions of me and Elrik falling into a dark abyss, i've seen it even when I'm awake... and it lasts longer and seems more vivid each time.
Could it be that I'm regretting something? No that can't be it... my life feels so 'Complete' right now. No no no I recall something like this from the old stories my grandma used to tell me, uhmm Clairvoyance or precognition 'Ha' fancy words...
Wait maybe it would make sense that the god of ''Fate and prophecy'' would torment someone with visions of the future.

-It's evening now, we have decided to set up our campsite, and have a small feast in celebration of our lives and all the time we spent together. All the wine and cheese we found during over the course of our days are finally going to see some use.
We both feel it now. Time is definitely running out, but we feel no need to run nor any overreaching fear, We accept our fate. I can already see the cultists that are hiding in the bushes a few feet away, well atleast they didn't change their garb while we were gone...
''We are still free''
-Aldous

stensig04b16_ESO

Overheard at the local inn, with the sound of mirth and half-filled tankards both brought together in toast with load cheers, and hammered into wooden tables with angry remarks, filling the background.

’You encounter the strangest of things out and about.’

‘Aye, tell me about it – some freaks of nature you find lurking out there in the wilderness.’

‘Indeed, yet the strangest is often those that have passed. Last time I was out and about I came across a puzzling scene: Out there, in the middle of the woods, a nice table, two chair, two dead people – all it would have taken to make for a nice meal; yet a forest of arrows filled the scene.’

‘Ah, I think I know the place. I’ve heard some call it the lovers’ meal.’

‘”Lovers’ meal” eh? Sounds like there’s a story behind that.’

‘Nothing that anyone rightfully know, is my bet. Everyone has their own little tale, though it seems common thought that it must have been a lover’s quarrel. Hence the name.’

‘Is that so? Strange that I have heard nothing of it. But what is your version then?’

‘Ah, the one I favor the most is a tale of two lovers – lovers through many a days, but secretly so. Though it seems silly, the tale would have it that they had this one place where they met every year to celebrate the day of their love. Through the years it had become a simple place to celebrate a good meal, with two chairs, a table, and a few well-preserved rations. –‘

‘-would explain the furniture, aye.’

‘Yes it would. In any case; the secret affair of their love was bound to go astray in the end, and after many happy yet secret years the husband – some say brother – to the woman became aware of the affair, though he knew not with whom she lay. Instead of confronting her he kept an eye on her every move, and as such eventually found the place of the loves’ meal.’

‘And the forest of arrows?’

‘The story says that he had brought with him the closest of his guards, and in his blind fury at the scene in front of him he himself fired the first arrow that struck the skull of the man who had secretly claimed his wife – or sister.
‘So filled with fury was he that he ordered his guards to bury the place in arrows; and so it must have come to be that the woman, having fallen back over in terror at seeing her lover die right in front of her, too was killed by the rain of arrows.’

‘I could see why you favor it – sounds true enough. It certainly offers an explanation for the seemingly odd placement of fine set of chairs and a table.’

‘Aye, it does. But maybe the skeletons alone knows the true tale. Someone might even revive them to ask…’

Panda244

Journal Entry 46 ~
The Second Fredas of the Evening Star

Andistair groaned the entire trip, always complaining about the weather or the wildlife, he would never shut up about the nature. Always had a thing for it I guess. Anyways, its about the... Sixth day of our little hike, three of the other fools already gave up and headed back home. Tired, old.. Hairy arsed *** if you ask me, me and Andistair found a nice place to make camp, by Oblivion the man even brought pieces to put a table together and a couple chairs. It was near a small cliff face, next to stop grass. But for the most part it was solid, flat ground. Figured we would put our tents up to the right and the table could go right against the rocks, and we get it all to ourselves. No one else has been spotted after the fourth day of our hike, kept saying it was to dangerous, even though no bandits or Daedra or.. Anything for that matter. I had to lug the mead along the entire time, it wasn't easy and it wasn't fair. Everyone knows I'm the heaviest drinker here.

Journal Entry 47 ~
The Second Loredas of the Evening Star

Believe it or not Gaspar showed up, said he didn't want to miss out on all the fun, and he even brought more mead! Oh this trip was so worth it, getting away from civilization isn't all that bad every once in a while. Helps you forget the bad things in life and focus on the good parts of it, while you still can. What with the Imperial City in ruins and the three Alliances going at it, seems like we're never going to see peace again.

Journal Entry 48 ~
The Second Sundas of the Evening Star

Well, Gaspar went and gathered some firewood, and Andistair is off taking a nap in his tent. So its me, some cheese, and the bird in that oak tree over there. Was rather fun today, we hunted a bit, trapped some fish, found a really funny looking gold coin. Its got like... A pig... Or a boar molded into it, can't make it out very well. Its all scratched. But tonight is the night! Andistair and Gaspar promised me the party of my life and with this amount of mead we could feed an army! But can't forget about the cheese... Oh the cheese. So good. I think Andistair's wife made this, Elanna. Oh... Well Gaspar is back, time to get this thing started I guess!


Gaspar walked back through the brush and arrived in camp, he nodded to Jakben and set down the firewood letting out a grunt of relief. Jakben chuckled and called over, "To heavy for ya, Stablemaster?" Mocking Gaspar's job. Gaspar grunted again, not much for words, and started getting the fire ready. "Ya know. if yer weren't so stubborn, I might actually like ya." Gaspar shouted over to Jakben, whiched caused Andistair to roll over in his tent and groan loud enough for the realms of Oblivion to hear. Jakben and Gaspar glanced at eachother, then at Andistair's tent, then back at eachother. Before bursting out in laughter, they went on for another minute before Andistair stepped out of his tent, dressed in a nightgown. "Is it time yet..?" He muttered as he slumped over to the table and took a seat closest to the rock. Jakben nodded at him from his spot in the dirt and Gaspar mumbled as he played with the now lit fire. "Well then get it on.. Get it on, don't wait for me.." And not seven minutes after Andistair said that, the men were halfway through their second keg of mead. And had already eaten the boar they'd caught earlier. Jakben turned around from staring at the fire. "So Andistair, you ever wonder what it would be like to make lo-" He was cut off as a Bosmer arrow came flying out of the woods and slammed into his eye. Jakben screamed out in pain and fell back into the dirt, as he fell a second arrow hit him in the groin just as one buried itself into Andistair's skull, killing him instantly. Nearly a dozen more arrows flew into their make shift picnic area and tents, Gaspar was no where to be seen. But in reality he had left after his ninth mug of mead, and was walking back in his underwear. But before he got there, the lead bandit captain walked into the camp, and toyed with the cheese on the table. "Beh... To moldy for my likings, c'mon lads." He waved over to the brush. "We got ourselves a fine dinner tonight."

Dem Bosmer cannibals dough bra

janne.saarelaineneb17_ESO

2E 309


Dear Dairy,

Today is the day when I finally take my beloved Jennifer out to the woods to have a picnic. I've been planning this for several months and yet when the moment is getting closer my hands are shaking. I've known her for eleven years and we've been together exactly three years. At this very special day I have planned to propose her. I am going to give her a wedding ring which belonged to my departed mother. The ring itself is beautiful. It is made of gold and there's carved one onyx, one ruby, one sapphire, one topaz and one diamond into it perfectly in line. It's one of the most meaningful things in the world for me. Such a shame She is not here to see this very day.

I've planned to take her to the place where my mother first met my father. My parents told me their story so many times that I could repeat the story with out missing a every single word. Anyway, the spot lies in front of a huge granite rock a few miles from here straight to the East. I've already carried there a table and two chairs just to make sure that we don't have to sit on the ground and dirty our fine dresses. My aunt has made some cream cheese for us and I bought a bottle of fine red wine from a local store. I've planned to put the wedding ring into her wine glass. I hope she notices the ring instead of swallowing it all the way down to her little stomach.

May this day be my day, dear diary. The war between these stubborn factions has ended several days ago. They forced my bother to join their troops and I really thought he wouldn't come back alive. But he did. In one solid piece. I can't give up wondering how lucy I am. And yet tomorrow I may be a husband for the most beautiful and understanding woman in the whole Tamriel!


Yours,

Japoli

AndySlayer

I don't think I live in a country eligible to win, decided to have a go at writing a story anyway. Wonder if anyone will get the Oblivion reference in the title

Blue cheese, marble cheese, cheddar, and most fatally, olroy

Bernard DuPont and his partner in crime, Hakon Meadfist, had gone on a heist, but not just any kind. The two had already built their renown in Cyrodiil and parts of High Rock due to their thieving antics, or rather, their lack of serendipity in choosing a target.

This time was no different; after receiving a tip from the Stormhaven port guard that a shipment of "yellow gold" was due to arrive on Middas, the two had begun to whet their appetite for riches. Bernard, ever the intellectual, questioned the guard's choice of words: "Isn't yellow gold a tautology? Why would he stress that the gold was yellow, I've yet to see blue gold." Hakon snapped back: "Bernard, for the last time, your nagging got us into our last mess after the Bruma broom heist. And besides, quit it with the fancy talk, we're thieves, not them tautologists or whatever that word of yours is." Bernard obliged, palm firmly in face.

Come Middas, the two staked out the port early in the morning and began working their way aboard the humble merchant ship as soon as it dropped anchor. Bernard's constant nagging that the ship was poorly manned for a gold transport was met by hushes and the occasional threat from Hakon. There was a rank smell. Granted, the ship did come from Betnikh. "Orcs and their hygiene habits," grumbled Bernard, helping Meadfist lift two heavy sacks onto his back. Bernard's skillful use of a feather spell made Hakon somewhat oblivious to the fact that the content was, in fact, less than half the weight of gold.

Relieved to find no resistance from the law, the two found their way to the bottom of a cliff where they had prepared their celebratory arrangements. Nothing major, just a pair of chairs to lounge in and enjoy a drop of good red.

Hakon cracks open a bottle of Surilie Brothers and opens up a sack. "Bernard, you idiot, yellow gold means cheese!" he shouts, flinging a piece into the air.

"Yes, I see that you dolt, if only you had listened!", Bernard hisses back. Push quickly turns to shove, when Hakon suddenly trips on the very piece of hard Cyrodiilic marble cheese he had flung into the air.

Disgruntled, he grabs onto a chair for leverage, stumbling onto a curious note in gilded paper inside one of the sacks. Still reeling from the fall, he scans the contents of the note: "Bernard, it says here someone named Uncle Sheo set us up!"

"I know," replies a stonefaced Bernard, looking up at the host of Golden Saints gathered on top of the cliff.

Srugzal

The Two-Drink Story
by @Srugzal

Sure, I’ll tell you about it. Buy me a drink first. It was a long time ago; telling the story makes me thirsty.

Roughneck felt bad about what happened, but I don’t. Roughneck? Oh, him. He’s my forge wife’s brother. Kind of soft in the head, I always tried to watch out for him. It was our first trip together. Sure, it looks bad; hell, like those two Dunmer were just sitting down to dinner, all nice wine and soft cheese and everything, and then POW, the two of us let the arrows fly. Death rained down from above. Two arrows from me, one to each head, and it was good night, ladies. I'm especially proud of the arrow in the eyeball; you don't see that one every day, do you? You should have seen the looks on their faces. Death surprises everyone when it finally comes for you; this I have learned through my many years as a warrior.

Barkeep! Bring me another! He’s paying.

But those scum had it coming. Don’t look at me like that. They were really yucking it up. Did you know they were telling that joke about the Orc and the Pig? The one where they run off together? Yeah, that one.

Stop laughing, or I’ll rip your jaw off.

Well, we made sure they'd never tell any more Orc jokes, that’s for sure.

We was just gonna rob them, you know how it is, times were tough, but I got my blood up and things went south. Roughneck, I kind of wonder about him. He wouldn't even let me take their stuff, said something about angry blood is bad blood. I mean, we left behind a heavy sack. You don't see those every day, do you? What a waste.

Naw, Roughneck and I don’t run together any more. He went back to his hearth-wife, I guess. I'm running with the Worm Cult now, those guys know how to party.

Barkeep! Hey, where you going? That was a three-drink story!

soserr

Princess Sabrins Cheese

Every year the beautiful Princess Sabrin would offer her hand in marriage to any man who could finish a whole wheel of the local Riften cheddar. Men would come from far and wide, low and high born and everything in between so they might marry the Princess. But only two would get to undertake the challenge following one clue to another, they would have to vanquish great beasts and climb the highest cliffs for each clue. In this way only the bravest and mightiest would have a chance to win the Princess’s hand. Only the first two to reach the table could take a seat, any that came after would have to wait for another year as the table only had two seats.

Princess Sabrin would watch from above hidden amongst the boulders as was her way. As she watched she was disgusted as the men ate and ate, no heed did they pay to their surroundings. Brave and mighty they may have been for reaching the table but the princess also wanted a wise man for a husband.
She drew her bow, took aim and missed by twenty yards or more, Sabrin cursed herself she had never been a good shot. Again she fired and missed by more but she worried not so engrossed were the men in stuffing their faces to beat the opponent that they didn’t notice a thing, always it was the same.

Maybe one day she would find a man who ever looked for her instead of stuffing his face. Again and again she fired until at last she hit one in the groin he fell back in his seat mouth to full to even yell out. The other fool just sat there mouth agape too stuffed to even move. As it always did the anger improved her aim and she put an arrow in the side of his head before quickly finishing the other with an arrow through the eye. Well there was always next year she thought but at least her shot was improving only eighteen arrows and three hits that was a new record for her.

fyrstorm

Love gone awry:

They are a pair of adventures. One was a battlemage the other was a fighter. Having been slowly falling in love over time adventuring. Unfortunately on the same day they decide to show each other how much they love the other.

The battlemage opting for the universal message of love the heart with an arrow through it, the fighter deciding on a fine dinner to tell her how he felt. Unfortunately the battlemage was an elf and the fighter was an orc and to his

Clan a heart with heart in heart in the sky was a declaration of war, so as the battlemage was trying to finish her spell of love the fighter interrupts her and the spell went a little wrong. Instead of a heart with an arrow through it she caused a rain of arrows thus ended their lives and their love.

phoenix18776rwb17_ESO

Table for Two

“A true measure of something’s worth is not always the most obvious feature” Onyx’sis Ben Raffar the younger thought this to himself as he grappled with one end of the hefty wooden table. On the other end, Quiixto Flux sweated in frustrated effort as they both crested yet another of the hills surrounding the outskirts of Riften. The chirping of birds was interrupted with the grunts of exhausted effort that permeated the area. Dropping his end, Quiixto slumped against a nearby tree and slid to the ground. They were at the base of a cliff that loomed menacingly and seemingly blocked their progress, thick shrubbery crowded protectively at its base.

“How much did you say this merchant was willing to pay for this table, Onyx?” The Imperial looked over at the Redguard and huffed as he wiped a droplet of sweat from the end of his nose, he rose and pulled down a chair from the table top, placing it on the ground to one side of the table.

“Five thousand gold!” The Redguard Sorcerer took the other chair down and plopped himself down “I’m telling you, this will buy us passage as least as far as……”

Quiixto pulled the pack from his back, sat down on the chair and placed the pack between his feet. He rifled through it and started pulling out food, placing it on the table between himself and Onyx

“Don’t tell Arienne about this…..” Onyx wagged a finger at the Imperial.

“Oh, I won’t…could you imagine the lecture?!?” Quiixto chuckled as he popped a slice of cheese into his mouth.

The arrow took him in the side of his head before he could finish the bite, he slumped back in his chair as blood and cheese dribbled from between his lips. Onyx went to rise and was peppered with a flurry of arrows. The chair toppled and he lay gasping on the ground, blood leaking in torrents from the multiple wounds in his chest.

The thief smiled as he walked into the clearing. A sly thought crossed his mind “These two idiots would have to be the densest pieces of guar dung I’ve ever encountered. They thought the table was the object of value?”

Onyx vision blurred, breathing coming in shallower gasps with each passing moment as he watched his assailant reach under the table. His last sight was the thief, pulling a heavy looking green bag from beneath the table and studying it.

As a long, slow and final breath emerged from the dead man behind him, the thief smiled and pulled a heavy looking stone from the bag, throwing the bag to one side. He whistled slowly as he studied the stone for a moment before pocketing it and departing the clearing. The two corpses slowly cooled as the setting sun slowly filtered down between leaves, painting the table and its contents in dappled shades of amber.

By Onyx One Eye - Guild Wordsmith - The Debaucherous Tea Party

Alexies

Verick stared as the flames gently licked the cool night air, only stopping occasionally to stoke the fire. They had been riding weeks but they were close, Garyn said as much as they made camp earlier in the evening. In truth Verick was unsure exactly what they were looking for, only that it was extremely valuable to their employer, though he had tried countless times to pry the information from Garyn only to be met with his usual response of “there are some things it is safer not to know, old friend”, and then he would always leave it at that. Part of him was beginning to wonder whether it was best to just stop asking, retrieve the object, and get his pay, but his curiosity had always been one of his downfalls. This was especially something Garyn loved to remind him of.
“How long now” Verick said, breaking the silence.
“soon” Garyn replied, almost angrily.
Verick looked up from the fire to see Garyn’s red eyes staring back at him. “Don’t” he said abruptly “by Vivec your questions will get you-“ he trailed off and stared into the dark, Verick heard it to. Crunching leaves. Snapping twigs. Footsteps.

They had been staring for only a few seconds but it seemed like minutes, out of the bushes sprang two khajiit men, quickly making their way towards the camp “what have you found?” Garyn quizzed
“A camp.” One of them replied “not far from here, this one is sure it is them.”
It was time. Garyn shot up as he grabbed his bow and made his way to the khajiit, while Verick put out the fire and followed him. They spent what felt like an eternity sneaking through the pitch black forest before they got to a cliff edge, beyond them Verick could see what looked like small camp in the light of a fire, though it was impossible to tell.
“How many?” He could barely make out Garyn’s whisper.
“this one counts two” a khajiit replied
“kill them” Garyn said solemnly.
Almost instantly the twang of bows rang out through the forest, one after the other, Verick did the same until Garyn held up his hand. And just like that it was over, The group quickly made their way over to the camp to find the bodies of two altmer men, both struck through the head and eyes with arrows. Without saying a word they all began to search the camp, Verick found it hard to believe how many arrows they must have shot off, as the camp was littered with them, however he quickly disregarded that thought as he gaze drifted over to a large green sack with a gold insignia, much like the ones used by traders to carry heavy goods. Garyn had also seen it, as he quickly made his way towards the cloth sack and opened it. “well?” Verick asked eager to know whether they could finally return home.
“We have it.” Garyn answered excitedly.

robert.withamub17_ESO

The Song of Kyne’s Champions

Come hear my tale of courage strong
And friendship fast and true.
Of Jan and Erik the champions
Of Kyne, their goddess true.

The two fought well and bravely so
And never lost the day.
And when the battle had been won
They’d feast the night away.

They fought and killed their Daedric foes
For Kyne had blessed them both.
With sword and shield they fought for her
To Kyne they gave their oath.

And then one day, there came their way,
Two thousand Daedra strong.
Kyne’s champions would face them all
The fight would not last long.

Into the sea of foes they pushed
With flashing sword and shield.
Five hundred Daedra fell to them
And still they did not yield.

Jan felt a spear go in his side
And an arrow in his arm.
Yet he fought on as Erik did
The two would not fail Kyne.

A sword struck Eric in the chest
Another slashed his leg
Yet still he fought and so did Jan
Eight hundred Daedra dead.

With grevious wounds the duo fought,
Two hundred Daedra more
The two retreated just a step
To tally up the score.

Jan said “Our wounds may do us in,
Before the battle’s won.”
But Erik simply smiled and said
“A battle’s always won.”

Then from above there came a glow
And Kyne smiled down on them.
“The battle’s won my champions,
Go feast the night away.”

The thousand Daedra that were left
Stood still upon the field.
They did not move nor raise a sword,
For Kyne had made them yield.

The two looked back and there they saw
A table set with food
And overflowing mugs of ale
They’d feast the night away.

“Come sit my champions at this feast”
Kyne said as they sat down.
They lifted mug and joint of meat
To feast the night away.

Then Kyne came down and blessed them both
And took them home with her.
And then a thousand arrows fell
Upon their feasting place.

In every battle as we all know,
A victor must emerge.
Now Jan and Erik evermore
Shall feast the night away.

Swampster

As I sat and surveyed the scene of what must have been a massacre.. it occurred to me that there was something very bizarre about all of this!

It was obvious that the killing took place at some indeterminate time long past, the rotten skeletal remains of the cadaver's stood testament to that...

But something? Something was very odd indeed...

the Cheese! And the Grapes, how could they remain?

Obviously some fetid magik at work here... so I'm not hanging around to find out!

Byeeee!!